Advice needed from working mums

[KB]

Agree that children are not put on this earth to do our chores but there is nothing wrong with them participating fully in family life.
If both parents work then its not unreasonable to ask children to make an effort on the domestic front to enable Mum & Dad to have more time to enjoy with them. Some chores can enable spending time together - cooking, washing up, washing the car.....

Also agree! that it depends on what else the children are doing - those who are studying hard or who have part-time jobs themselves/do voluntary work are in a different position to those who are on the computer/games console for hours while Mum or Dad does their washing and cooks dinner for them.

Don't think it is healthy for any children to be brought up thinking that Mum is there just to run around after them - even if she doesn't have paid employment outside the home. Expecting children to keep their room tidy & put washing in the laundry tub is about respect for others and recognising the value of their possessions - even if Mum does have time to do it/ the family has a cleaner.

This is has to be one of those questions where there are as many answers as there are families

[colchestermum]

When I decided to return to work I told my husbands in no uncertain terms he was now responsible for hoovering! (He is self employed and often home earlier than me and I hate hoovering!) Which I felt was fair given as I have every other task to do. My elder 2 - 11 & 6 have to take it in turns to clear table and load dish washer after dinner and eldest has to put his laundry away once I have washed and ironed it, I just put the pile on his bed and he puts it away (wish same could be said for husband!)

I think that is enough for now especially as my DC are very good at doing favours for me ie "can you just run upstairs and fetch such and such" or "can you just take this drink up to your little sister" etc. They often offer to do things for me.
For me as long as they understand how much I have to do, appreciate me and are willing to lend a hand when needed I'm happy. As they become teenagers however I expect I will up the ante!

[SSM]

I previously posted that I spoilt my children and didn't expect them to do much. But from what others have posted, I do expect the same as most.

Like others have said, mine have to lay the table, fill/empty dishwasher, pick the washing up from their bedroom floors and put in the linen bin for me to wash and iron. I then put it on their beds to be put away. They normally then put it on the floor (rather than in their wardrobes). They do also get their own breakfast and lunch when at home.

So all in all they probably do as much as most kids, and there's me thinking that they're spoilt

[sp]

Putting clean laundry on the floor is better than putting it straight in the dirty laundry bin!! Happened here, just the once I hasten to add!

[atestingtime]

Our Ironing is now done by my 3 boys, used to all be done by me watching TV last thing at night. A quick change of thinking was called for after eldest son, then 16, tried ironing the trousers he needed urgently for night out on the pine dining table!

Perfect iron burn mark on table which DH spent weekend sanding down while I taught all 3 boys what an ironing board is for! They now watch TV all together and allocate up the ironing between them once a fortnight or so leaving the furniture safe.

I do take pity on them when its exams and revision time but otherwise feel no qualms about them helping out. It does make them put it away with more respect when they have had to do it themselves and its another skill for the future aquired.

Now, any good ideas on how to get them to hang up those after the shower wet towels?!

[Snowdrops]

I previously posted that I spoilt my children and didn't expect them to do much. But from what others have posted, I do expect the same as most.

Like others have said, mine have to lay the table, fill/empty dishwasher, pick the washing up from their bedroom floors and put in the linen bin for me to wash and iron. I then put it on their beds to be put away. They normally then put it on the floor (rather than in their wardrobes). They do also get their own breakfast and lunch when at home.

So all in all they probably do as much as most kids, and there's me thinking that they're spoilt

I have to agree with SSM, my dd will keep her room tidy and puts her own laundry away. She also fetches things as a 'favour' to me and other odds and ends. So she does 'pitch in'.

What I meant by not expecting them to do housework comes from observing friends of mine when I was growing up. In one particular household it was expected the eldest daughter would come home from school (this is aged 13/14) and do the dishes, sweep the kitchen floor, hoover around the downstairs and wash the kitchen floor (on her hands and knees, not even a mop and bucket), this was every evening. The weekends were far, far worse. I think it was from observing this which made me determined my children would not be put upon likewise!

[sp]

My DS constantly leaves his wet towel in his room. Providing it's not on the bed I now leave it so he gets to use a soggy towel next time he showers. I figure at almost 16 he needs to take the responsibility.

[Belinda]

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[KB]

For persistent 'wet towel on the floor' offenders maybe we should put them in their beds

I dont venture in the boys' rooms - that is DH's responsibilty as his standards are lower than mine & his stomach stronger - thankfully DD is the tidiest of the lot so we dont have that much of a battle

Must be ideal if DCs are happy to help when asked - we do have some days like that

[Lookinglass]

thanks for all your replies. Reading them makes me feel more normal!!! Well as normal as I can be.

I find the difficulties arise when it has been going well, the house is fairly dust free and smells nice, the toilets sparkle and your not afraid to let your guests use them to when something tips you over the edge, extra homework that your child doesn't understand, one extra meeting at work or simply your oh having a male hormonal moment and then it all goes wrong you have washing flowing from every basket in the house, when a friend asks to use the loo you have to run in before and give it a quick whirl around picking bits off the floor as you go trying to make every excuse possible as to why they are there and the sad thing is your mates probably don't care but its just not like how your mum did it so its doesn't feel right. No sooner have you finished you go off to work oh is left in charge and guess what it's all messed up again and ground hog day starts all over again...

and teenage kids.......why is it cool to leave dirty undies in the corner of room...or is it some sort of science experiment....but they don't seem to care...

I try to get all of my kids to do jobs but not everyday..My ds loves the dusting which is fine although you end up buying lots more polish and have to dry out the duster and the elder dd will put away her clothes but like many others have said usually screwed up in the bottom of the wardrobe and my youngest dd although only 3 years uses her age as she doesn't understand that she has to tidy up (although she understands it at playschool!)

Oh the joys of parenthood..............