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 Post subject: Over dependence
PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 11:21 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 4:29 pm
Posts: 13
Location: London
I was just wondering at what age do you sort of expect your child to be able to complete homework by themselves?

Obviously there will be different situations that might crop up that do genuinely require assistance, but my sister who is currently in year 3, won't attempt anything regardless of weather she can do it or not (even handwriting practice) if i'm not sitting next to her. I don't mind checking over at the end but she is always very quick to say that she can't do it in the first place and tends to get upset when if she doesn't get the correct answer the first time round. I've tried praising for effort but it doesn't seem to really work with her.How could you encourage more independence and confidence?


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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:33 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:34 pm
Posts: 59
Only help I have ever given is to say "oi - have you done your homework ?" on the couple of occasions I have found my 8yo daughter distraught as she "can't get it" I have then explained the principle and maybe worked through an example (but not off the homework sheet). Never had to explain anything to the 11yo ever except to show his marking in maths and actually read the questions.

I will read homework shown to me and comment but usually it is a case of either complaining about presentation/working or to say "well done that looks good". The teacher needs to see what they can do not what I can do.


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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:53 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:09 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:52 pm
Posts: 737
Is AR1890 really only a kid? This isn't his/her first post - quite knowledgable and helpful when posting on other threads - and a lot of older siblings are responsible (or nearly responsible) for younger siblings and we should be supporting him/her rather than saying 'run off and play'.

There are probably a lot of enjoyable or valuable things that we could be doing with our time rather than helping our kids with their homework but we post here because we think that support for academic endevour matters.

Good on you, AR1890 - your sister is lucky to have you. :)

Am possibly biased because my wonderful brother helped me with my homework while my equally wonderful sister cooked, cleaned, and ironed for me - I wouldn't have got to the grammar without them. My mother worked long hours and had left school at 14 with no qualifications at all.


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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:03 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:21 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:52 pm
Posts: 737
Belinda wrote:
Now go and be your age and have fun

Belinda wrote:
Go and play a game together instead!
go out with your friends and party whilst you have the chance - and energy!


Belinda, I'm really sorry if I misinterpreted those statements or took them out of context (which I've just done again :oops: ) but as I said, I am probably biased - and maybe, because I don't have teenagers yet, I still see them as being more mature than they are/should be.

O.P. is browsing an eleven plus website after 11 pm at night - for some reason s/he feels they need to be here with us. We don't judge anyone else's right to be here - we make them welcome - just think we should do the same for AR1890.

There are a lot of worse websites a teenager could be looking at late at night. :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 2:54 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Over dependence
PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2006 6:09 pm
Posts: 379
Location: groombridge, e.sussex
Back to the original post, we have no idea of the age of the OP and there may well be very good reasons for them asking.
AR1890, you are obviously a fantastic sibling to be this concerned. My daughter was very similar all through primary and lacked confidence in her own ability. She needed constant reassurance that all was well. Slowly I weened her off me constantly helping her; I'd start as you do, then once she was doing somethign I'd have to do something else (laundry, go to the loo etc etc) just for a few minutes. Then I'd go back and encourage her on what she had done. Slowly but surely the gaps built up so that after the initial few minutes clarifying what she needed to do, she was then happy to do it herself.
Don't worry, it will all happen at some stage! If there isn't a parent around at homework time, and you find your sister is still having trouble, maybe you could speak to her teacher (by letter/email if hard for you to get to her school) and ask for help.
Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.


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