Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

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Plum
Posts: 284
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:26 am

Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by Plum »

DS (in Yr 7) has announced on his Facebook page that he is "in a relationship"!

Personally, I think Yr 7 is far too young to have girl/boyfriend and hope this is just a plutonic thing that will pass very quickly without anyone getting hurt, made to look foolish etc....

I haven't actually discussed it with him as I don't want to make a big deal out of it. Also, it is getting harder and harder to have a conversation these days, he's only 12 but looks and acts like a 14 year old (and he's taller than me now :( ) not in the mature sense but in the monosyllabic , grunting sense!

Just looking for re-assurance that I'm behaving like a responsible adult!

Plum

PS Don't know what she sees him anyway - he's going through a spotty/stinky stage and his voice goes up and down like a yoyo (pubity, don't you just love it!) :lol:
tiredmum
Posts: 1161
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 2:51 am

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by tiredmum »

My dd -also year 7 - often has a boyfriend. She has one at the moment from the boys grammar and its all quite innocent and i think nothing to worry about. My dd is the kind of daughter who telsl me loads of stuff so im confident in saying this - in a few years i expect she will tell me only "select" bits :lol: Anyhow when she has moved on in the past their hasn't been any hurt involved and usually they remain friends - which is to be honest exactly what they are when they are going out together.
Plum
Posts: 284
Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:26 am

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by Plum »

Hi Tiredmum

Thanks for the reassurance! That's exactly what I'm hoping for.

When I was at high school, I don't think we even talked to boys until we were about 13 - they seem to grow up much quicker nowdays....

Px
push-pull-mum
Posts: 737
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:52 pm

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by push-pull-mum »

From what I've seen (mine are years 2 and 6 but I have 13 year old niece in holiday time and regular 'teensitting' engagement with neighbours' 13 and 14 year olds) a lot of kids seem to have boyfriend/girlfriends in Year 7 but less so in Years 8-9. In Year 7 it's still all quite innocent and hand holdy and then kicks off seriously sometime around the end of Year 9 (which is about when 'relationships' started in my day). I don't like the Year 7 silliness and the thought of the Year 9 seriousness fills me with horror and sends me looking up the addresses of reliable convents but I think it's more or less inevitable.

Your 12 year old should not, of course, have a Facebook page and must have lied about his age in order to start one. Good that you are keeping an eye on it though - so much easier than in the old days when our parents would have had to pick the locks on our diaries to find out what we were up to.
KB
Posts: 3030
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:28 pm

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by KB »

No doubt it is all very innocent as you describe but it might be worth his dad making sure he is fully conversent with the physical issues! (Only say 'Dad' because by year 7 I imagine most boys woudn't want to have the discussion even with their Mum - do realise there will be exceptions for all sorts of reasons) . Sometimes it is the innocent ones who can end up 'getting into trouble' just because they are innocent.

Agree with previous comment - while I wouldn't be happy about this in year 7 it is less of a potential problem than later on when the hormones are stronger & they can get very hurt by the emotional turmoil.

I would have a chat about posting the info on facebook - they may be happy for everyone to know about it starting but will they be so happy for it to be so public when it finishes? (The response might give you reassurance that it really isn't anything other than a friendship).

I do wish that there wasn't such an acceptance of children lying about their age to have a facebook account. Nearly everyone seems to allow their children to do it & it makes it very hard for those of us who won't! I can fully understand the pressures, but if all parents took a stand those pressures would be greatly reduced.
drummer
Posts: 529
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:47 pm
Location: South Bucks

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by drummer »

Why does your Y7 child have an FB page? You have to be at least 13 I thought?
KB
Posts: 3030
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:28 pm

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by KB »

Think we need to be a bit careful here. I do get frustrated about the pressure to have under age oFacebook accounts but I also recoignise I am in the minority and intended to make a general point not to attack any individual. Sorry if it came across any other way.
KB
Posts: 3030
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:28 pm

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by KB »

And sorry about the typing- trying to do it on my phone so as to send the apology tonight!
Looking for help
Posts: 3767
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 11:12 am
Location: Berkshire

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by Looking for help »

My son has had a couple of girlfriends since y7, he's in y8 at the mo. They've all been fairly innocent so far, but in the Christmas holidays the current g/f at the time, I hasten to add, as he is now well and truly dumped invited him to the cinema one Saturday afternoon. I wasn't really sure what to say, but he quickly added, its ok her really annoying sister and her friend are coming too. Well I thought, ok it's a busy Sat afternoon, they were going to see a just released must see movie, fair enough, although not particularly happy. OH dropped him off to meet the g/f only to find her mum was accompanying them also, how we did laugh. All that worry, and her mum was there too. Good on her, wish I had been brave enough :D

On the facebook issue, this has been discussed many times. Yes you have to be 13, but lots of the children are on line - a few tips, make sure you are their 'friend', also get their password so you can check messages etc, as they are too young yet to be let loose in the world of cyber space. Our son joined as he was leaving y6 because he was moving schools and not many of his friends were going to the new school. However when my son decided to break up with his y7 girlfriend, he came in for some terrible stick on facebook, which was upsetting for him, as he was only 11, and the girl's friends were truly vicious.
magwich2
Posts: 866
Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:33 pm

Re: Yr 7 too young to have a girlfriend???

Post by magwich2 »

With reference to the original question -
Yes
And year 8 and year 9 and year 10 and year 11!!
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