My Moral Dilemma!

[Looking for help]

I work for a large international company, and am intrigued...I imagine you'd handed in your notice before which you couldn't really have accepted formally the other job. I can't imagine once you'd handed your notice in the original company would be offering you lots of other options, they'd be happy for you to wait out your notice and handover the job. Unless of course you've not handed your notice in, in which case the other company may be very cross.

I think I tend to err on the side of the contract you've made with the other company, you may not have signed anything formally but you have an agreement to start work.

[Booklady]

Interesting views - I am currently working my 3 months notice, then planned to have a couple of weeks off before starting the new job. But then my dream job come available at my existing company - which they have more or less offered to me (but has to go through the formal channels). They did not want to lose me before - but could not tell me exactly what I was going to be offered as no jobs were sitting their waiting to be filled. Bit complicated as I was on a secondment!

Having not started at the other company, although I have signed to say I will start, I have limited liability to them - understanding I may end up picking up the cost of any out of pocket expenses incurred before I start - like the printer which was delivered!

At the end of the day - as someone said earlier - I have to do what I think is most right for me, my career, my family etc - although inevitably I am going to upset one party!

Thanks for all the views - appreciated!

[mystery]

Goodness me, we are providing a broad spectrum of advice now - from cake baking for research scientists from overseas, through to relocation and employment for an expat.

I'm off to think up a new problem now.

[Jules7]

Whatever the rights and wrongs are of the situation, at the end of the day you can only do what is right for you. If you don't go for your dream job, you will always regret it and let's face it, if the boot were on the other foot, a company wouldn't think 2 minutes about getting rid of someone if they had to cut costs etc. My advice is do what you really want but offer to meet any expenses and apologise directly (maybe you can get your existing employer to reimburse those expenses as part of your negotiation?).

I have been in a similar situation years ago when I applied and got another job but when handing in my notice, my exisitng employer offered more money for me to stay which the new company couldn't match. I stayed and good job I did as the group I would have joined were made redundant later on! At the end of the day, it is business and whilst it will be a short term inconvenience for the new company, they will move on quickly.

The tricky bit you have to juggle is the timing. Good luck.

[Marylou]

I agree with Jules. Good jobs are a bit like hens' teeth these days, and sometimes a move doesn't work out for one reason or another and if that happens to you, then you could be left with nothing. This happened to DH a few years ago - he was badly messed around by a company that recruited him to a new position before the job had been properly approved internally. It's difficult and might feel like a gamble, but it looks as though your instinct is telling you to stick with the "devil you know". If your current company knows that you are turning down another position to stay with them, it might force their hand a bit. And if you are honest with the other company and pull out gracefully, offering to reimburse any expenses, then you could well earn their respect - especially as you are not yet under any obligation to them. They could even turn out to be a useful contact for the future in whatever field you are in.

[Booklady]

Thanks guys - you have helped! You have reinforced that my decision is the right one! Thanks for all the help - and the tips on how to pull out gracefully! Much appreciated!