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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:45 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:35 pm
Posts: 290
Location: kent
I am feeling a little bit :( because my daughter has got her first boyfriend. I know it's ridiculous to feel like this, because she is obviously going to grow up! But, to my surprise I am finding the prospect a bit difficult to get my head around.
They have been 'together' for a couple of months, and he is a lovely lad (15). She will be 15 in a couple of months, and they just stroll about holding hands, lots of soppy texting, phone calls and dvd watching (door left open!)
I am pleased that she feels comfortable bringing him home etc, but to be honest it feels a bit strange watching my once little girl beginning to step into the grown up world of ....... Relationships!

Does this sound stupid? Any tips anyone on how to deal with this sensibly/sensitively? and any other advice appreciated as my friends mostly have boys.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 5:02 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:20 pm
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Hi Jingle, You do not sound silly at all. I too have a daughter who is fifteen and she has a boyfriend. He is a really nice lad and is coming with us to a big family get together on Saturday. I do feel a little sad sometimes thinking that my little girl is now a young lady who has her own circle of friends and doesn't want to spend much time with 'us oldies'. I am, however, really pleased that she talks about her boyfriend to me and I have also met his mum who seems to be a very nice lady. Much better to be open about what is going on in her life rather than shutting me out (although I am sure there are things that she would rather not tell me). Your daughter sounds like a sensible young lady and the fact that you are welcoming her boyfriend into your home shows already that you are being really understanding about this new phase in her life. :)


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:37 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:35 pm
Posts: 290
Location: kent
Thank you, that helps to know it's not just me. He is a fantastic lad with lovely manners etc so I think I must just stand back a bit and just be around (sort of in the background) to'guide' her through this potential minefield if/when she needs me.
I just can't believe this time is upon me already. Doesn't seem like five minutes since she was playing with those awful Brats dolls! Oh no, now I am sounding like my mother!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:18 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:33 pm
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I wouldn't even think about a boyfriend at 15 - bl**dy ridiculous!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 9:34 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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Quote:
I wouldn't even think about a boyfriend at 15 - bl**dy ridiculous!


Do you mean you wouldn't have thought of it or you wouldn't allow it? There is no point in not allowing it - they will always find ways if they want to :twisted:


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:12 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
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magwich2 wrote:
I wouldn't even think about a boyfriend at 15 - bl**dy ridiculous!


I have to ask you magwich -how is this comment at all helpful to the original poster?

Better to know and keep an eye on it all, rather than delude yourself that your child always does exactly what you ask and have them doing all sorts in secret.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 11:14 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:51 am
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magwich2 wrote:
I wouldn't even think about a boyfriend at 15 - bl**dy ridiculous!

AHHH sometimes your comments are really counter-productive! We all know you have the perfect children, clever at everyting, not interested in the opposite sex, go to school to learn but rather be at home - yawn!

Well my dd's aren't perfect - they both have boyfriends! dd1 is 16 and has been seeing a lad for about 4 mths. I was really pleased when she told me as she can be quite secretive. Hes really nice and a very good influence on her. But i had to have "the chat" which i think i found more embarassing than her!

dd2 is in year7 and says she is going out with a year 8 lad! They dont actually go out though, they text and go on msn and occassionally meet up in a group. Hes a nice boy too, looks about 9 years old though.

Jingle i think its great she has been happy to enter into this new phase in such a relaxed manner - shows you have a happy welcoming home! Just chat to her about him over dinner, keep the communication channels open. :)

lol - load changed to lad - just one at a time we hope!


Last edited by tiredmum on Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:18 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:12 am
Posts: 3758
Location: Berkshire
Hi Jingle, all sounds fine to me. My daughter had a boyfriend at 15, they went out for about 18 months, then split up, which was a little bit difficult, but having us all knowing about it , and having welcomed the lad into our home, meant that we knew what was going on, and everyone was fine with it. In my view these things happen and its best to just play along. My own sister was not allowed to have boyfriends etc and married at 16 ( we lived in Scotland, no parental consent required - she ran away) It was not a happy marriage, and to be honest I think my parents dealt with it all wrong.

What is important is that we as parents do not try to blindfold ourselves and imagine our children are not going to grow up - of course they are. We need to offer them support and advice, and be there for them, when things are good, and as often as not, when things are bad . It seems to be a life sentence :D


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 12:21 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:12 am
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Location: Berkshire
tiredmum wrote:
Well my dd's aren't perfect - they both have boyfriends! dd1 is 16 and has been seeing a load for about 4 mths.

Hopefully a typo ? A Load or a lad :D had me laughing for a wee while, thks :lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 6:52 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8113
I thought that was great too :lol: :lol: :lol: Away at the mo so on a tiny keyboard and having a few problems with hitting the wrong keys.

Agree re the posts - you can't "not allow " boyfriends ... they will just elope to Gretna (ooops sorry behind the times)... I mean carry on behind your back causing anxt when you don't know where they ate etc etc


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