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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:00 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:14 am
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Now I've- admittedly a bit reluctantly- come to terms with the fact that what DS would most like for his twelfth birthday tomorrow is money, the next question is how much? I realise this depends on family circumstances etc, but my thinking at the moment is to buy a couple of small pressies and give him £25-£30. Am I being tight? Overgenerous? We're also taking him and his friend to dinner, swimming etc and to a pleasure park during the school hols (although we'd probably do the latter as a holiday treat anyway...) I think I feel a teensy bit mean as a good family friend in Australia sent him $50 which he exchanged for almost £30!


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:33 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:36 pm
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Location: East Kent
Is there something specific that he is wanting the money for? If I knew DD was saving up for something specific then I would consider giving her more than if it was just because she wanted money - if that makes sense??!

My DD is 11 and I think if she received £25 along with some small gifts she would be thrilled.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:48 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:07 pm
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Location: Essex
Both of my children like to receive money, especially DS who is 14 next month. Their grandparents usually send around £25-30 on their birthdays (they probably see them twice a year) & my sister usually gives them £20 too & I spend the same on my younger neices.

We have recently agreed with DS that there will be no large birthday 'do' this year for schoolfriends so we will give him perhaps £200, which is the approx cost of the birthday treat. Have suggested a sleepover instead. He is saving for a PC. Money does seem to burn a hole in his pocket though & his 10 yr old sister is the complete opposite, tight to the point of squeaking!!

What interests does your son have? If he receives this amount of money will it enable him to buy something for this? Has he mentioned anything he is saving towards? My DS is only interested in gaming so all his funds go towards this but games are expensive usually £40-45. He isn't interested in music, high-end fashion or sports.

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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:20 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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Now that's weird, I posted and it disappeared.

When DD was 13 she just wanted to go on a shopping trip as her present so I gave her £100. I actually felt slightly mean as I would have bought her the clothes anyway, ot at least some of them, but she was happy and we had a nice day out (mainly in Primark, she doesn't have expensive tastes most of the time!).

Compared to the couple of hundred pounds some parents pay their children to pass the 11 plus it doesn't seem like too much, but that's for another thread and I mustn't go off topic as I'm so good at doing :oops:


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:30 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:12 am
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Location: Berkshire
If you had been buying a present for your son, how much would you have spent on that?

I would give him the same in cash, if you're happy to give him money at 12.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:10 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:52 pm
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I have nieces - and I send vouchers - depending on roughly what sort of shopping they want to do (usually clothes or video games so easy to choose shops/groups of shops to get them from.)
I send £20 worth but, I suppose if it were my own child, I'd give £50 - assuming I wasn't buying them anything else as well.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:30 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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Mmmmmm - 12 seems to be young not to be excited by the idea of a present especially if he is not saving for anything in particular. I would be tempted just to go ahead and buy something that you want him to have and know that deep down he will probably like.

My DD1 started saying this when she was 3 - asked her what she wanted and she said a "moneybank (she meant a cashpoint machine) so I can buy whatever I like".

I'm going to hesitate to give her money as long as possible (but whether I'll make it until 12 with such an early start I don't know) for many reasons. One of these reasons is that if I give her money there is less incentive to earn money for little jobs etc etc.

Do you think deep down he doesn't want to be asked - he wants a surprise? DH's family has this complex system before Christmas where we are all supposed to swap lists of what we want. For me it turns Christmas shopping into this administrative nightmare, particularly as you have to check whether another relative has bought one of the listed items or not. I don't like having to say what I want either. I just want a surprise ...... OK they're not always the right thing ..... but they are a surprise.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:31 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
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Actually Mystery I'd rather tell my DH family what I'd like because that solves the problem of having to find a spot in the garden for a large , plastic Mrs TiggyWinkle. :( but like UnscaryMum, I'm digressing too.

My DS1 ( 11 ) much prefers money because then he can save up for expensive items he knows he wouldn't otherwise receive. I usually buy a smallish present from his brother and sister and then only give him 20 pounds ..but as he's chuffed to bits with that I don't see the need to increase it !

His sister who is only 6 likes to go to Bluewater or a big town near us and choose lots of girly things as part of her present ( the rest will be toys chosen by me ) so I probably spend much, much more on her. That's my fault though because I could quite happily spend , spend, spend on girls things....boys are a bit boring !


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 1:07 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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Oh I'd like a larger than life Mrs Tiggywinkle - perhaps I'll put that on my list when I'm stuck for ideas.


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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 2:22 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 18, 2011 10:22 pm
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sorry but i think we should look at our pockets rather than looking at what other children get.When we start buying or giving them more than what our pocket allows us,they expect same every time.But may be next time we can't afford the same,then rather being happy or surprised they will be dispointed


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