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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:39 am 
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Wondering if anyone has some good advice or has been in a similar situation .

My son went to his new school last night for a series of assessments ( not the best time ..he was really tired) and came out looking really choked up , he didn't say much, just that the male teacher taking the tests was really strict and shouted a lot.I did explain to him that teachers need to start off heavy until they suss out the children especially as they are all boys.I think also he was a bit put off by the huge hall he sat in which was set out like an examination with seperate tables and something he hasn't come across before as his entire school only has 60 pupils ! He also said everyone else seemed to know each other and to top it all off was desperate for the toilet after half an hour but didn't like to ask !

Anyway, I know it's a big adjustment which we all have to go through , but he seems really down since then and has asked me when the taster day is...I think he's worried about that now.Is there anything I can do or say do you think ? Or just let him get on with it ? He is usually confident and children seem to warm to him .

Or do you think I could get away with dressing up in my tree outfit and positioning myself outside his classroom window on the first day.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:15 am 
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scarlett wrote:
Or do you think I could get away with dressing up in my tree outfit and positioning myself outside his classroom window on the first day.
Only on the first day? I was planning on taking root outside the window for at least a term!

It is a very big adjustment - for our kids, and for us. If your son is usually confident and popular then I'm pretty sure he'll bounce back quickly. 'Shouty' teacher was probably using the right approach for some boys but not for others. I used to work in an all boys school and a fair amount of raised voices were heard from teachers who, if I boy came to them with a problem, were the kindest and most patient men you could hope to meet.

Your son has done really well and he probably knows that he's been quite lucky too (not suggesting he doesn't deserve his place - but he'll know there were a lot of others chasing it) and may be feeling bad about not looking forward to it all as much as he thought he would. It's perfectly natural and I'm sure it will pass. Getting the taster day out of the way will help. He'll meet a lot more teachers then and will be sure to find one or two who are more 'his style'.

For now, maybe concentrate on making sure he gets the most out of this last few weeks at Primary School. Maybe have a word with his class teacher to make sure she's keeping him active and entertained in school. There's not a lot of real work going on in DD's class at the moment and probably too much time available for brooding.

Not in DD's case though. The school play has taken over her entire life (move over Snobsbury-People-Carriers - she's got the female lead! :D ) and she couldn't care less about Secondary School (yet :? )

I'm stressing though - and sewing extra leaves onto my tree costume.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:19 am 
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Oh poor you scarlett and poor masterscarlett. I must say that all sounds very daunting and not my ds's idea of fun either. Seems a bit of an odd way to introduce children to the school! Now all the testing is out of the way I am sure that the taster day will be much more fun and he will have the chance to meet his new classmates.

Do you know anybody from further up the school who can put both of your minds at rest?

For what it's worth my DS went to GS from a very small and cosy school where he was quite a big fish and everybody knew him. He was also the only one from his school who went there. He is the type of child whose friends etc are very important to him but he managed to settle quite quickly and even those who knew each other before joining haven't necessarily stayed together.

Good luck and cyber hugs.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:21 am 
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Location: Berkshire
Oh dear, scarlett, that's a shame. it can be a very difficult time leaving primary and moving to secondary. I'm surprised the new school is making them do tests, seems very strange. Usually these are done in September once they've started for real, and taster days are offered with fun activities, rather than learning to get them acclimatised, so to speak.

Does he know anyone going to the new school? If so, perhaps you can arrange for them to get together over the summer, to reinforce some friendships before the new term starts? My youngest went to his school with one girl from his school and they were put in different forms so it was all very daunting for him, as he didn't really like/know well the girl anyway, and his taster day was cancelled due to swine flu I think :roll: , so come the first day he was absolutely terrified. However, we just kept trying to put a positive slant on the whole thing, and jollying him along, and it didn't take too long to settle down. His school is also very strict on the children, and that was also quite hard for him at the beginning, as he too had been used to a pretty small primary school.
I do like the idea of the tree costume, wish I had thought of that :D


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:25 am 
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scarlett wrote:

Or do you think I could get away with dressing up in my tree outfit and positioning myself outside his classroom window on the first day.



This made me really laugh and I needed to - thanks :D

Sorry it was a rotten evening.Would definitely try to organise a get together to shift the feelings of that last association with the school.Just keep on plugging that it will be good when he gets there.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:26 am 
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Your tree could always wear a green tutu :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Chin up. It's so hard when our children are scared/unhappy, they certainly don't mention all of this in the antenatal parenting classes do they - no wonder they all stop with the birth and the rosy glow of a new baby.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:36 am 
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Poor you and master Scarlett! I think it is a very odd way to go about things, and wondered if they are trying to free up some more spaces in the year :lol: . I bet he's not the only one feeling like this today, I know mine would have done. I'm sure he'll have a lovely day when he goes back there for the taster day - they usually make sure they have fun, and maybe he could make an effort (or you could if you are hovering in your tree outfit) to get a couple of phone numbers for over the school holidays. Look on the bright side, he won't be thrown into tests in his first week which is what usually happens.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:44 am 
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Thanks so much everyone. Doodles, if I turn up at the school wearing a green tutu I think that might be a last straw for DS...I nearly wiped a mark off his face in full view of everyone yest.but managed to control myself just in time !

He had to do these tests to stream them and then when they go to the taster day in July they will be told which form they are in and spend the day doing team building activites with just his class mates, so there will be less boys for him to deal with and hopefully he might feel better then. Perhaps once we know which boys are in his class then we can arrange meet ups..I just don't want him spending the next few months feeling sick about it all.He does know a boy already there but DS2 told me that DS1 thinks this boys friends will be mean to him.Don't know why he thinks that as this older boy is his best friend and lives in our village.

I think he is just a bit apprehensive.Apparently there was another strict lady teacher there who was really old ( probably about 40 ! ) but I thought she sounded quite funny myself.When one boy forgot to bring his reading book she rummaged in her handbag and gave him a pink girls book to read instead and then one unfortunate boy passed wind loudly she shouted out who let one rip ? Whilst the boys probably tittered nervously.
Actually I am yearning for the days when they were all at home and we spent our days in the sand pit or at a petting farm. I feel down myself at how quickly the years go past.... :(


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:50 am 
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Quote:
Actually I am yearning for the days when they were all at home and we spent our days in the sand pit or at a petting farm. I feel down myself at how quickly the years go past....


You need a big glass of wine tonight and to remember that there are also advantages to them getting older (stern voice here). I do know what you mean though. I was at our local beauty spot recently and saw all the mums with their babies and toddlers having a picnic and it made me fee very sad that those days have gone so quickly. Now in the holidays my 3 all want to do different things, so we can't even do it then. Sigh.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:58 am 
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I know....I feel that when I pop into a coffee shop and I remember my 2 little boys sitting at the table with their sister in a highchair waiting for their cakes whilst all the old grannies would be fussing over them.Those were the days ! No cares or worries ! ( not that I remember ! ) Sometimes I get an urge to say to people I do have 3 children you know ! but then I might get carted off in a strait jacket......


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