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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:34 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
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Now my son is starting secondary, I'm wondering what do they do with friends ? ( in the first year or so ) At primary they just go to each others houses and of course, you know the parents but do you just let your children go home with a friend and hope the family are normal ? DH says he will be practically carrying out a fingertip search of the family and premises , but I don't want to embarrass DS !Or do they meet up elsewhere ? What do your children do ?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:40 pm 
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It's a tricky one. When DD went to secondary school it was quite a way away. One way to handle it is to invite people first then you get to meet the parents when they pick up. If DD was invited first I tended to call the parents first and I found they did the same. DS has only been to people we already knew :). Not sure if that is good or bad!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:13 pm 
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Does your DS just go to peoples houses, Unscary ? Or do they meet up at leisure centres or something. I'm worried ds will tell me he is off to Johnnies house and then hang around the town or park with undesirables.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 3:43 pm
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Location: Twells
In year 7 my son either went to the park to play football, tennis, manhunt or something with a group of male friends, sometimes he went to others houses for the night, if I didn't already know them I would ask him to get the mother to ring me. Now going into year 9 he still goes to the park or sometimes into town with the same friends, less often to play football now! and there seems to be girls involved! If he goes from the park to town or someone's house he always lets me know and he is always back when I want him to be. When the weather is bad they are usually here or at someone elses house.

I think despite your feelings you have to trust their judgement and hope that you have instilled enough good sense into them to know to do the right thing, i have found the more freedom and trust I give my teenagers (within reason and age relevant of course - my boundaries are very clear) the less they fight against me. Not sure if this reads right - I hope I don't come as a completely laissez- faire parent!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 7:46 pm 
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To be honest, Scarlett he doesn't seem to do very much, but when he does it's mainly going to others houses or playing tennis. He I
Has been to the cinema but hasn't yet wanted to go off anywhere much, but otherwise pretty much as Just1 says. Remember they are always attached to their phones which is better than when I went everywhere with a spare 2p piece for phone calls (showing my age :oops: ).


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
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Location: Maidstone
My DD still plays outside but its clearly a primary school thing in our neck of woods. I never see the older ones out and I always wonder what they do. I have seen some friend's kids hanging around with their peers in town. My DD is starting to moan about going to the park with me, she rather prefers going with her friends now :( I still drag her along but I don't see this approach working for much longer. Where is my little girl gone who used to enjoy going out for a picnic in the park and feed the ducks???

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:37 pm 
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I know what you mean, Sherry ! I was really pleased when we passed the stage where you have to stand for hours arms out stretched under a climbing frame...and both boys go to the park by themselves, but it's in a very rural area where they usually just meet a couple of foxes :shock: and they are chomping at the bit to go somewhere else. I'm hoping he will meet a similar boy nearby ( it's worse when the radius of friends is bigger ).He thinks he can go bowling every night after school and is depressed as DH has told him it will be homework, dinner and bed. :evil:

Another problem is that his friend who lives nearby , but has an unorthodox family, shall we say, still wants to play in the park but DH is being funny and has told him he can't meet up with him which I'm furious about as he is a nice boy ( he can't help his family) and I feel as he gets older I don't want him sneaking off but want him to be upfront.What do you all do about families etc you don't really like, but your child does ? ( just called DH an idiot and he isn't speaking to me...so will be on here for a while :lol: :oops: )


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 8:50 pm 
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We have quite a wide area with poor public transport which I think does affect their social life - particularly when DD was at her previous school. This means they end to meet up in the holidays more than anything - sometimes at the weekend but we are often busy then. I encourage them to keep previous friends from out of school which they both do - I never did that but then I had a very active social life & great public transport. The things I got up to ake me terrified of what mine might do :oops:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:09 pm 
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I work weekends, so am a bit worried that he might be somewhere I don't know about.The public transport isn't great here, and I always felt he would just spend time with his brother, but they seem poles apart at the moment.I guess I'll just have to wait until the term starts and see how it all pans out.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:26 pm 
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Location: Barnet, Herts
Scary mum, they may be 'attatched to their phones ' but answering the phone is a different thing! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


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