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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:35 pm 
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I am seriously thinking about asking the next school - probably a 13+ senior school - if my son can go a year later because he is very immature.

OH is not for this and he thinks that DS will regress evenmore if he is with a younger age group. He is a big lad so he could either stick out or potentially enjoy positions of reponsibility within this peer group which may help him in the long run. I kno of boys who have been moved down because of academic reasons and they are far more mature than the rest of the form. The other issue is that DS is a November birthday and most schools only hold back if a child is born between June-August.

I was also wondering what the academic implications may be for him when he applies to university. Would it hamper his chances of getting into a top uni if he was a year older?


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:43 pm 
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Many would-be students take a gap year and start uni when they are a year older. Your son would be he same age as these students.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 11:42 am 
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WFG - I would be cautious - especially with a November birthday. He will grow up a lot in the next year and it may be more disruptive to his self-esteem to do this.

He will also get bored as he will cover similar work in the year he repeats - and that is never a good idea for boys :lol:


Last edited by Guest55 on Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:29 pm 
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.


Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:58 pm 
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Never heard about moving a "normal" child down a year for social reasons. In some countries for example France and Russia it is possible to repeat a year for academic reasons. But it is really very shameful. My friend's son was left for 2 years in year 2 by his parent's request, but he has ASD. It was not easy thing to do due to resistance of the school and council. The child was not ready to move to juniors and also was very small. Another case I heard of involved the child with DS.
Some boys do mature very late, I say in their thirties...


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:07 pm 
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I would be very cautious about doing this. Academically he may become very bored and "switched off" but also boys mature an enormous amount between years 5 and 8 but at HUGELY different rates. You may find that in the next few months he charges ahead in maturity and I would worry where that would leave him emotionally if he had been held back from his "true" peer group.

Good luck with making this very hard decision.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:26 am 
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My DS is a late August birthday and is moving into yr4 next week. I think it has affected his self-esteem and confidence as he sees boys that are 11months older than him who are much taller, faster, better academically but I think his self- esteem would be much more affected if he was now told he was to move back into year 3. We do work with him out of school to help him with school work and we make sure he does after school clubs which he is good at to boost his confidence. I would say he is now starting to catch up and indeed over the holidays seems to have matured a lot. There was a boy in my DD year who was from the previous academic year, but he was held back from starting school so never had to actually repeat a year.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 9:47 am 
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Playing with younger children can certainly help children develop social skills which they can then transfer to their own age group. Maybe you can cultivate this opportunity somehow without changing the school year? e.g. an outside school friendship with another musical boy who just happens to be younger? Clubs at school where is is one of the oldest? etc etc

It's hard to know what is right as we are not in your family, but on the given facts including the November birthday "staying down" a year is not perhaps the best thing, unless it's the kind of school that does things by "stages" rather than "ages" of which there are few, if any.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 8:01 am 
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Thanks for all of your comments, many thoughts had not crossed my mind so they have been very valuable. Hopefully he will sort himself out within the next few years and catch up socially although based on the summer holidays I'm not so sure! :roll:


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 8:03 am 
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WFG do they say he is immature at school? Or is just your perception of him at home? I only ask as some kids seem to be 12 going on 4 at home and about 12 going on 16 at school.


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