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 Post subject: Exam results.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
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Does anyone else think it is strange how people feel it is acceptable to ask for a breakdown of how your DC has done in their GCSEs, ASs and A Levels. They wouldn't dream of asking how your DC has done in their end of year exams, (what did they get in English, Maths, History etc.) and yet they persist in asking what grades they got in the above. We have just received results for two of our sons, they both did very well and we are very proud. If our sons wish to discuss their results with their friends that is their choice, however, when people ask me how they have done I just say 'We are very pleased, thank you.' A few people have persisted and asked 'What grades did they get?'. I just say 'Oh, I don't discuss grades'. I actually think it is private. Am I just odd or are there others out there who share my views. How awful if your DC didn't get the grades they wanted/required and you were feeling a bit down and worried about the whole thing and someone you hardly know persisted in pressing you for their results. :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 12:50 am 
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I agree Fran, I would prefer to keep my children's results private unless it is to close friends or family, not that any of mine have got to GCSE level yet. I guess people are influenced by the media who print lots about the results so some may forget it is actually about the individual.
Of course not everyone feels the same as us, one mum at our primary school posted her son's year 6 SAT's results on her facebook page for all the other mums to read - can't imagine what she will do for GCSE results - half a page in the local paper maybe!!


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:03 am 
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It is a curious thing. I would generally ask something like "did you / he / she get what he was hoping for / happy with etc etc".

On a more charitable note I do think that some people ask because it helps them to understand results and what they might hope for from their own child. There's nothing to learn from school exams because they have no external benchmark, but GCSE and A level results do tell you something. Also people might ask because it is quite a significant result and can have a future impact and someone saying "oh they did well" when the other person know the child probably did super-well might be taken as a modest invitation to spill the beans and share and celebrate the fantastic results. But one person's did well could be a long string of Cs and someone else's well could be a long string of A*.


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 7:25 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
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Yes people are very curious! last year the results were in the local paper almost before the kids had got them!

Can be very difficult though - well over 30 year ago there were 3 cousins taking O levels at the same time.... the results in no way similar :oops: One auntie did a fab job in handling it - never forgotten.

However must be remembered that these are "public" exams and therefore results probably available to everyone if they want to know!


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 8:08 am 
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:27 pm
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Location: london
mystery wrote:
It is a curious thing. I would generally ask something like "did you / he / she get what he was hoping for / happy with etc etc".

I would smile sweetly and innocently and say 'Why do you ask?' :D .
If they replied along the lines of 'because I am very nosey and also neurotic and I am already panicking about where to send my (as yet unborn) children to high school because I stumbled across this 11+ site and it has got me in a total lather so I thought I'd choose a school based on my neighbour's child's GCSE results' then I would laugh, tell them and then advise them to take a look in the mirror and get a life (all with a smile of course :D ). If they gave anything other than a totally self interested reason for asking I would tell them that DC got 15A*s, had been approached by several exclusive 6th forms and asked to apply, eulogise about said school before starting a sentence with 'it's just a shame...' before having to take a call on my mobile 'phone and never being able to let them know. I would then go home safe in the knowledge that the witch would have a few sleepless nights now and may, just may, think twice before asking next time :D

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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:40 am 
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It's a tough one - publuc exams are fairly public, I haven't got there yet, but supect if someone asks I will tell them, but won't volunteer it. You sometimes need to know if you are advising someone. The one that makes me laugh is the 11 plus. Here in Bucks you are deemed to have "qualified" if you score 121 or above. Any score above that is irrelevant, you either qualify, or you don't, but people always seem to ask. I just smiled sweetly and said that he did well to pass, than you. Close friends knew, and of course the children tell each other. I told my son it wasn't anyone else's business but that if it felt him uncomfortable to refuse to say, that was fine.


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 9:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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I would only ask my rather vague question of very close friends and relatives on the grounds that it might be rather rude not to enquire. If other people (who do not fall into this category) ask me in years to come I'm not sure what I'll say. I guess it will depend on what I feel their motives are for asking - hopefully mostly good.

Now the thing that really does puzzle me is that when exiting from school some children from older years sometimes ask my reception child which colour book box she reads from. I assume though that it is polite conversation because we are passing the book boxes at the time and it is just a friendly bit of small talk which they deem relevant at that point in time. She doesn't know which box she reads from as we seem to have escaped the school scheme so I just say something along the lines of "don't know, and they don't mean that much really". Maybe I'll be saying the same about GCSE results?!


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:51 am 
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Simple rule. If I don't have a solid enough friendship to ask about their bowels or their pelvic floor then I don't ask about their kids' exam results.

What I'll say myself in 5 years time? Probably the truth, simply and concisely, and then change the subject. It has served me very well through the 11 plus debacle (still ongoing - everyone currently wishing to share a story of some friend of a friend who got whisked off the waiting list in the last days of the summer holidays.)

mystery wrote:
Now the thing that really does puzzle me is that when exiting from school some children from older years sometimes ask my reception child which colour book box she reads from. I assume though that it is polite conversation because we are passing the book boxes at the time and it is just a friendly bit of small talk which they deem relevant at that point in time.

Hmm ... if you assume that then you are verily as green as you are cabbage looking. :lol: Reading book competitiveness is a nightmare at most primary schools and I must confess that I myself have been guilty in the past. Many years ago, when I discovered that a child with more than moderate learning difficulties who went to 'Posher Postcode Primary' was on the same reading book as my 'able table' DD at 'Scruffsville Notice-To-Improve Infants' I kicked up a considerable stink. :oops:


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:58 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
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I never mind vague enquiries because I think people are just being polite. Most people are satisfied with me saying 'we are very pleased' but I have had a few go on to press me for a detailed breakdown of my sons' results. I normally just smile and say 'Oh you know me I don't discuss grades'. If people want to find out about school exam results or University requirements there are lots of sources far more reliable than enquiring about one individual's results. My sons are free to tell whoever they wish and I am sure they do discuss results with their friends.

As for people posting grades on facebook, I think they should ask themselves whether they would post their DCs grades if they got a string of Ds or Es. I just wish people would be a little more sensitive.

Mad - you did make me laugh! :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Exam results.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:04 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
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PPM - great rule. One I think I will abide by myself! :lol:

Life does seem to get very competitive when you have children. It's starts the day you announce you are pregnant. Who has the best/worst pregnancy, who has the best/worst labour. Whose baby drinks the most milk, sleeps through the night first, weaned and potty trained first, blah, blah, blah. I have never liked it and have well and truly opted out. :D


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