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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:08 am 
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My youngest is in Year 8. He is extremely laid back and relaxed about life. He loves his school, has a great set of friends, he is well-behaved and he is working hard. However, as I posted elsewhere in Year 7 he lost a coat, two jumpers, a pencil case, a pair of football boots and left his sports bag on the bus several times. This year he has been back to school for three weeks and has lost his school diary which thankfully was returned to him, he has forgotten one piece of homework (which he wasn't punished for because this is the first time he has done this) and today he has football and has taken his brother's football boots by accident which are three sizes too big for him. I have decided that maybe because of his nature he needs a little bit more support than his brothers, so every night I ask him whether he has done all his homework and tell him to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. When he has sports I tell him to check his bag and double check he has everything. I have tried lots of strategies to try to get him to look after his belongings and be a bit more organised but nothing seems to work. Should I just accept that this is the way he is and hope that he will grow out of it or can anyone give me any ideas of what to do. All I seem to do at the moment is nag him to do things and remember things. :(


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:28 am 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
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Location: Birmingham
I have found this to be a common problem with boys (and men).

One thing that helped was to write out little cards of instruction for them to follow, and also have a whiteboard by the door with reminders such as 'Swimming kit or death' graphically written on it.

I had a major problem with my bathroom looking like it had been hit by a natural disaster after my boys had used the shower, so I wrote out a card like this:

How to have a shower-
1) Get out pyjamas or clean clothes and bring them to bathroom
2) Turn on shower switch from outside the door
3)Take out towel and put it near shower.
4) Take off clothes and put in (note the preposition carefully here - not on, or beside) the laundry basket
5) Turn on the shower and clean yourself and hair
6) Turn off shower, take towel you left nearby and dry yourself
7) Put towel in laundry basket
8) Put clean clothes on
9) Turn switch outside the door, off

Now we all know that girls do not need instructions such as these :wink: . But they work brilliantly with boys!

All of us make mistakes/forget things/lose things sometimes. But we slowly learn to be more careful. Once ds1 left his games kit on the bus but I made him go to the bus station to get it back. Not a pleasant experience. He has been more careful since.

Edit - whenever I write the number eight, this forum inserts a smiley instead?!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:01 am 
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Um, I love your shower instructions! I have 3 girls but still have to remove mountain of soggy towels and dirty clothes from bathroom floor after shower has been had!

I'm also not sure the laid back and forgetful thing is just boys...I think it might just be a personality thing..

I sent both DDs 2 and 3 to school in their school uniform yesterday (nothing wrong with that you might think!) only to realise when we got there that it was 'European Day' and they were supposed to be dressed in the colours of a European Flag. I had also forgotten that I had paid for a special 'European' school dinner and had sent them with sandwiches.

Now I realise this says some bad things about my own organisational skills :oops: but the point I'm trying (in a roundabout manner!) to make is that DD1 would never have let me forget that it was 'own clothes day' or that there was a special lunch on offer :D

I will let DD3 off because she's only 4, but DD2 clearly had no recollection that dressing up was required and didn't particularly care either.

I think that now DD1 is at secondary I am going to have to make some effort to remember what's going on at our primary school rather than relying on a child to keep me informed :?


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:39 am 
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Um, do you provide a clean towel for each and every shower? I feel terribly inadequate now.

Please note my new policy of asking questions.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:40 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:23 pm
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Fran17 wrote:
My youngest is in Year 8. He is extremely laid back and relaxed about life. He loves his school, has a great set of friends, he is well-behaved and he is working hard. However, as I posted elsewhere in Year 7 he lost a coat, two jumpers, a pencil case, a pair of football boots and left his sports bag on the bus several times. This year he has been back to school for three weeks and has lost his school diary which thankfully was returned to him, he has forgotten one piece of homework (which he wasn't punished for because this is the first time he has done this) and today he has football and has taken his brother's football boots by accident which are three sizes too big for him. I have decided that maybe because of his nature he needs a little bit more support than his brothers, so every night I ask him whether he has done all his homework and tell him to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. When he has sports I tell him to check his bag and double check he has everything. I have tried lots of strategies to try to get him to look after his belongings and be a bit more organised but nothing seems to work. Should I just accept that this is the way he is and hope that he will grow out of it or can anyone give me any ideas of what to do. All I seem to do at the moment is nag him to do things and remember things. :(


Maybe if he keeps losing things you need to make him pay to replace them - perhaps then he will be a little more careful with things? Are you sure the things he says he has lost were actually lost and not taken deliberately by someone else?

For my son with his homework I get him to write it down each night on a piece of paper which is pinned to his noticeboard, then he ticks it off when he has done it.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:03 pm 
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mystery wrote:
Um, do you provide a clean towel for each and every shower?




I was wondering that too! If we did that in our house there'd be so much washing to get through, we all have showers every day :shock:

Mind you, I do notice that almost no-one else in our street changes their bedding very often. We do it every week (sometimes more often in the heat) but other neighbours rarely do it at all (and they can't all be drying it inside - what about when it's boiling hot, you wouldn't do it, would you?).

See, I have questions too! :D

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:44 pm 
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Brilliant list UM! I will make one for "after school, when entering home". Both boys scatter their school clothes and stuff all around and me running out collecting it. Enough! I say. I am making my list right now.

Quote:


mystery wrote:
Um, do you provide a clean towel for each and every shower?



Snowdrops:
I was wondering that too! If we did that in our house there'd be so much washing to get through, we all have showers every day

Mind you, I do notice that almost no-one else in our street changes their bedding very often. We do it every week (sometimes more often in the heat) but other neighbours rarely do it at all (and they can't all be drying it inside - what about when it's boiling hot, you wouldn't do it, would you?).

See, I have questions too!

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I change bedsheets once a week too but our towels are washed bi-weekly inspite of taking shower once or twice a day! Should we be washing our towels everyday? :(

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 1:45 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 12:06 pm
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Location: Birmingham
Er yes I do provide a clean towel for the kids each time they shower, as we would have loads of soaking towels everywhere...and no-one likes sharing towels. But my boys do not shower everyday :oops: unfortunately. However they make ablution 5 times a day to pray, I guess it keeps their feet from becoming too stinky at least :lol:

As for bedding, I would say every 2 weeks to be honest, there are 7 of us in our house, if I changed everyone's bed weekly I would have to give up work :roll:

PS I do about 2-3 loads of washing each day in our XL 8kg machine. I throw the towels in with all of the rest of the laundry, as I was once told not to wash a full load of towels separately as it puts too much strain on the machine bearings.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:08 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
Posts: 1440
Thank you for all the posts. Love the idea of your list um I think that may help and will certainly give it a try.

Twinkles I honestly don't think anyone is taking his things, he's just forgetful. :roll:

Having just spoken to a friend whose child is having lots of health problems I think I need to put things into perspective and chill out a bit when it come to him losing things. Hopefully he will improve with lots of reminders and thought maybe I could pin lots of lists to the inside of his blazer. That may just embarrass him into remembering. :lol:

As for towels, I would love to have one of those dryers you can step into, no need for anymore bath towels. Only hand towels left to wash.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:10 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:31 am
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This sounds like my eldest DS at that age. It can be very vexing but does have its upside too. He is now 17 and has remained laid back and relaxed through his adolescence, and sat his GCSEs and A/Ss without any apparent stress. Oh, and he hasn't lost anything for a couple of years now.


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