Some advice please

[Fran17]

Now this sort of thing makes me cross. Your DS sounds like a very committed young man and is willingly involved in various bands. I think it is very mean spirited of his music teacher not congratulate him on his opportunity to take part in the mock trials and give him his blessing. Something very similar happened to my eldest DS. He was in three bands at school and when he was doing his GCSEs he wanted to drop one. Having spoken to his music teacher two or three times and having been ignored, I sent a letter in to say he would be dropping out of one of the bands, explained his reason, due to workload etc. and made apologies. I received a telephone call from the teacher saying that he was so upset that DS hadn't felt able to speak to him about himself. I explained to him that it was, in fact, an extra curricular activity and it was surely his own personal choice as to whether he took part, all in a very friendly and polite way of course. He relented and DS left one of the bands. (He was going to anyway).

The teacher involved is a very talented teacher and very nice man. I think he just got a bit carried away with things. I think your DS has been put in a very difficult position, however, he is not letting anybody down. If the teacher carries on in this vein he may well put your son off taking part in any of the musical groups. I'd say good luck to your son at the mock trials. Well done to him for being chosen.

[Marylou]

Who is on trial? Is it the music teacher?

[Marylou]

The teacher has made it very difficult for him already Guest55, by flouncing off in a bit of a huff.

Both our older DDs have experienced this on various occasions. Some teachers get so precious about their own subjects and it really makes you wonder who is the adult in this situation! DD2 plays violin in a county string group and lead guitar in a rock school band...so far the end-of-term concerts haven't clashed, but it's only a matter of time and she has already decided which she'll choose if they do on the basis that her absence will make far more of a difference in a group of five musicians than in an orchestra of 50-odd. Try telling that to the violin teacher, though...

And same DD has also been told by one subject teacher to make sure that her next peripatetic piano lesson doesn't take place in her own subject lesson next week...as if DD has any control over it whatsoever!

[Looking for help]

Thankyou Fran and Marylou, it is good to know we are not the only ones with problems. Aargh, you must be more carfeul - these music teachers are a pain, but it doesn't do to hit one First-timer you are right, it's not as if he is trying to go off the rails, what with all the extra curricular music, chance would be a fine thing
Mystery - who knows, perhaps it would be a good idea to put the music teacher on trial, then perhaps he would wake up and realise it's not all about him
Scarlett - it's like you don't know me at all, I find it very difficult to be firm, thankfully OH has agreed he will call in on Monday, although bless him, my son has asked can we do it after 1.30pm as he will have to see said music teacher for one of the bands, whose name escapes me at the moment, perhaps it is the saxophone ensemble. Not that he plays the sax, it's just they need a bl**dy bass.
I think on balance everyone is agreed, he's not letting anybody down, which was his biggest worry

You know to be honest, life would have been a lot simpler at the grammar, he would have been gifted and talented at nothing, and nobody would have expected so much of him

[Moonlight]

You know to be honest, life would have been a lot simpler at the grammar, he would have been gifted and talented at nothing, and nobody would have expected so much of him

Poor you to feel like that. I think there is some truth in your words here. I hope all works out well for you both.

[push-pull-mum]

You know to be honest, life would have been a lot simpler at the grammar, he would have been gifted and talented at nothing, and nobody would have expected so much of him

Oh no, L-F-H!!
That's exactly how I feel sometimes about DD. She's always being dragged into extra-curricular stuff because the general standard of the school is less than inspiring. The Music Department (who are lovely and have made all the difference to DD's experience of an otherwise pretty mediocre school) do act as if she is their property. She wasn't allowed to have a part in the school play (although they let her audition and gave every other child a part) because she has to play in the band instead.

[Looking for help]

Thank you moonlight, I'm sure everything will be fine in the end once we sort this out.

PPM, we will have this experience this year too - he has been in the school play the last two years, but I don't think he will be able to attend the rehearsals this year, so there's no point really. It is rubbish on the one hand, although the music department we have also has made a huge difference to my son , so I hate to criticise, which make sit all very difficult.

And now this week he has science tests and RE tests for a) decision on who gets to take triple sciences and b) who gets to take the accelerated RE GCSE. He doesn't really know how to revise, so I have been shouting at him all day. I am a bad mother

[Fran17]

ppm and LFH your DCs sound very talented and I am sure they would be in demand at a grammar! My eldest DS isn't at a grammar but the standard of the musicians at his school is exceptional. I feel the same as both of you with regard to the staff in the music department, they are marvellous! They have done so much for my DS and he has become part of the fabric of the school because of his involvement in the school concert band etc. and travelled all over Europe with them. Having said this, he has been very committed and rarely missed his rehearsals in the 6 and a half years at his school.

LFH I am sure your DS's teachers will come to realise that it is in their interests to allow him to branch out a bit and become involved in other activities which he enjoys.

As for revision, we still laugh at the immortal words of my 12 year old, 'You can't revise for history'!???? It still makes me smile now when I think about it, in a crazed, mad mother sort of way.

[Looking for help]

As for revision, we still laugh at the immortal words of my 13 year old, 'You can't revise for history'!???? It still makes me smile now when I think about it, in a crazed, mad mother sort of way.

One of mine at one stage reported that it was incredible how much geography he knew.

I was very worried

[pheasantchick]

LFH - mine doesn't know how to revise either.