Independent schools and bursaries/scholarships

[Looking for help]

Oh dear Tulip, I really feel for you and hope everything works out for you all. This is a horrible situation for you . I wish you the very best of luck with it all.

[Snowdrops]

Gosh, I well remember the difficult decisions we had when DD was doing the 11+ 4 odd years ago.

Our only in-catchment school (and the school she was offerred by the LEA) was a failing school.

We had the outside option (a one in three chance of success by my calculations) of a grammar school place or horridly expensive indies.

DD sat for, and passed two indies and sat for and passed the 11+.

My thoughts on the indies were that OK, we could afford it (and still have a reasonable lifestyle, but wouldn't include holidays/newcar etc) and that the full 7 years weren't necessary. Why not the full 7 years? Well, how many kids these days look around at 6th form? It's becoming the thing to do isn't it? So I applied that logic to indies. After GCSE's we could look around and have a better chance of getting dd in to one of the excellent (although out of catchment at secondary school age transfers) local schools here in Harrogate.

I would never have considered entering her for the indies if I couldn't afford it. OK, I might ONLY just have been able to afford it, but I wouldn't do it on a wing and a prayer thinking the slack would be picked up by the school with bursaries/scholarships (although it would be a nice additional bonus if they had!).

All that went by the by in the long run when, eventually DD did get offered a place at the grammar off the waiting list (phew) and we spent the money on a wedding instead

I too don't understand the mindset of some - maybe it's me though, what if I'm depriving dd by not being so daring? What's the old saying? Don't ask, don't get? Maybe that's the motto we should live by ........ or perhaps not!

[Looking for help]

I too don't understand the mindset of some - maybe it's me though, what if I'm depriving dd by not being so daring? What's the old saying? Don't ask, don't get? Maybe that's the motto we should live by ........ or perhaps not!

This is where I'm coming from now - I wonder what if we had asked, a few thousand off the fees might have been enough to swing the decision for us. Who knows ?

He's going to be doing 12 GCSEs (2 more than his siblings at the grammar), one in y10 (RE) with the AS in y11 - I have read here that this isn't such a good thing, I wonder that because he's a bright little soul too much is being asked of him .

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I too don't understand the mindset of some - maybe it's me though, what if I'm depriving dd by not being so daring? What's the old saying? Don't ask, don't get? Maybe that's the motto we should live by ........ or perhaps not!

This is where I'm coming from now - I wonder what if we had asked, a few thousand off the fees might have been enough to swing the decision for us. Who knows ?

He's going to be doing 12 GCSEs (2 more than his siblings at the grammar), one in y10 (RE) with the AS in y11 - I have read here that this isn't such a good thing, I wonder that because he's a bright little soul too much is being asked of him .

It's not a good thing for the vast majority but your son isn't probably one of those LFH. Better he is stretched than ignored because the school only supports the weakest.

[Guest55]

Better he is stretched than ignored because the school only supports the weakest.

I hope this is a 'joke' WFG - it isn't true at any of the schools I know.

[Looking for help]

It's not a good thing for the vast majority but your son isn't probably one of those LFH. Better he is stretched than ignored because the school only supports the weakest.

You are right, WFG - thanks for that

Guest55 - I think WFG was just saying that it is better for a school to stretch people that to not stretch them.

[Tailsmo]

We have just been successful in getting a financial award to attend an indie school, so I thought I would share with you why we decided to apply when I have no ability to pay full fees.

We are not in an 11+ area, so our choices are non-selective comprehensives or indies. Our catchment school was bad when Y7 application time came round (and has this month been put in special measures), so we applied to a school out of catchment for which there is no guarantee of a place.

DD is not especially talented musically (I can't afford to have paid for private tuition for several years) although she is learning the violin at her state primary. She loves to dance, but so do a lot of girls her age, and I didn't want to try for a dance school, as I just can't take that kind of pressure! She also loves sport, but does not play at county level for anything. It's all for fun for her.

So, there was never any hope of a scholarship for any of the usual things.

However, the school we have been offered a place at (yey, can't get over how good that feels to say ), offers means tested bursaries for children who are bereaved, or from divorced or separated families. We qualify under the bereaved category. I found out about this school from one of my colleagues who sends his DS there, and knows about my DH's death. Lucky chance, you might say.

I have shared this journey with you all on other posts so you know how I have been feeling.

Yes, I did worry about raising DD's expectations, but we spoke positively about plan B (out of catchment school) and I always made it clear to her that even if they offered a place, if my required parental contribution was too high, she wouldn't be going. The contribution they have asked for from me is higher than I said I could afford, and whilst not a great deal higher, it does mean I am now doing my sums to make sure it will be OK.

I only applied to this one school, so she wasn't taken around several lovely schools that we have no hope of getting into.

Do I feel that it is wrong to have done this? No, I feel that we took a chance, which paid off. The chance we took was based on a higher probability of success than if we had applied for music or sport scholarships, so it wasn't just taking a punt, but was planned as offering us the best chance of a place.

Would I be writing different things on here if the offer had not come, or if I couldn't afford to accept the place? Who knows, but probably! However, we have both spoken about the positives of the application process, without knowing what the outcome was. The benefit of all the extra tuition at home with me, and weekly with a maths tutor, which means that she will sail through SATS in May. Her real feeling of achievement when she passed the entrance test. The enjoyment she got from the interview day. The increase in her confidence I've seen. All these things would have stood her in good stead if the outcome was different and done her well at a state comprehensive.

However, I've read a lot of posts about whether entering a particular child for the 11+ will result in them struggling at grammar, and posts about children who do multiple entrance tests, sometimes at the admission of parents that they don't have a hope of getting a place, but they're going to try anyway, because they'd love their DC to attend the school.

For those of us not fortunate enough to be able to afford full fees at indies, why shouldn't we take a chance too? Many schools have to offer financial assitance to maintain their charitable status. Why shouldn't it go to children who can't afford to be there otherwise?

Flipping this discussion on its head, why do parents who can afford indie education apply to grammars? Isn't this potentially taking a place away from a child whose parents cannot afford an indie place?

I know the parental contribution they have asked for from me will really stretch us financially, and I also know that doesn't include trips, etc, so DD is likely to miss out on things that her new classmates will be doing. But that's the result of our situation, and there's nothing I can do about that, except help DD to understand why, and thank our lucky stars that she is getting the best education money can buy. For those of us not fortunate enough to live in an 11+ area, that's truly wonderful.

[KS10]

I wouldn't argue with any of that.
I did not know of your situation before, but just wanted to add my best wishes too.

[mad?]

Tailsmo what a thought provoking and poignant post good luck to you. And yes, I guess we have to remember that most people do not live anywhere near any grammar schools. As I think someone posted at the top of the thread (maybe even me...getting a bit lost here!), I think the strengths of ones convictions and the degree of desperate measures one might take vary depending on what the alternatives are

[Looking for help]

Tailsmo, thank you for sharing, I completely understand your situation and what you are doing, and hope all works out well for you.