Go to navigation
It is currently Fri Dec 02, 2016 6:07 pm

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:14 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:39 am
Posts: 14
Hello all,
I hope you don't mind me asking this on here, I'm really not sure how to deal with this and would value your input.

I have been made aware today of a person being taken in for questioning over possibly trying to offer money to children at our local park. This is a small play area right by my house, but not visible, that I have recently allowed DS [yr 6] to attend with friends without me there. Details are few and far between about the incident/ incidents, but I do know the adjacent school head was the one who informed the police. DS was told today by school as there are rumours everywhere and he was in a state.

I don't know how I find out any more details? It's got me terribly worried. What do I say to an extremely anxious child tonight to calm his fears. :(
Thank you if you can help.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:27 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
Is it your son's primary who told your son ? What did they say ? You could ask them for more details , although it's possible your school and the other one may have been told not to disclose any more information. What has your son said..what are his specific worries ? Has he seen anything ?

Just have the stranger danger chat with him , i.e not to talk to people you don't know or accept anything form strangers...to stay in a group and take it from there. These things are a worry , but of course next year your son may be taking the bus to school and coming into contact with all kinds . My son told me the other day that if he ran out of credit for his phone and missed the bus he would ask a " kind looking person " to help him out. :? :( It's sad but just goes to show how trusting children are. When I told DS that unfortunately there are some people who might want to harm children , he didn't really believe me.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:36 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:27 am
Posts: 645
Location: Buckinghamshire
We get emails from school a couple of times a year about strangers approaching children and offering them sweets/money/lifts. When I ask DS (Y6) about it he says they were spoken to in assembly and I would hope this happens at your school too. I don't think there is anything to be gained by knowing all the nitty-gritty. I usually just go over the basic "stranger danger" stuff and remind him that the vast majority of adults are good and not to worry but if he's not comfortable it's OK to walk away/scream/whatever feels right.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 5921
Yes - totally agree with andyb - we get this type of communication a couple of times a year too. To be brutally honest, I tend to ignore it. Risks of abduction by strangers are very low; my kids have had the message drummed in a thousand times, and I do not want to add anxiety by discussing it on the back of a letter from school. If the chap is in custody there is little to worry about anyway. Personally I would not mention this unless your child does; then I would reinforce the message that he is very safe, but that if anything happens which makes him feel uncomfortable, he must walk away, scream, shout, whatever he needs to do to get attention. I would not show anxiety myself as I feel it's my job to make my children feel safe and protected, and empowered to deal with situations which might arise. The risk of keeping kids locked up indoors far outweighs the risk of them being harmed by a stranger.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:35 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:39 am
Posts: 14
Thank you all for your replies.

I have never heard of anything like this happening around here before, so it was quite unnerving! I'm trying to keep it in perspective, after all, I suppose it could all be a misunderstanding.

Scarlet, my son was away from school the end of last week when it all seems to have kicked off, and he got to hear all the rumours first from the children today. The home support worker showed him the news article so he got the correct story. It is the head of another school who informed the police. My son is a very anxious child by nature. I don't want to bore you with all the details, but he had some counselling over his irrational fears not long ago. Things like this can really knock him for six and bring out all his nervous habits and it doesn't help it's all so close to home.

I just worry they wouldn't arrest someone without reasonable suspicion of wrong doing?

I'm not going to let him be aware of my worries, thank you all for helping me keep rational. They all seem to be boycotting the park, so I'm quite happy to let them play out front in view for now. He's had the safety talk again.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:03 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
It does sound unnerving and I can see why you are worried about how your son is feeling about it all. My middle son worries incessantly and if he reads or sees something frightening in the news he will pick up on it, relate the situation to himself and then instead of putting it all in perspective , he will continue to worry. He will pick up on the very worse thing that could possibly happen and I find that I have to remind him that everything is likely to work out just fine and he can cope with it. Remind your son that whatever this man was up to , someone was looking out for all the children who play in the park and the police are now dealing with it. That's a positive thing, isn't it ?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 10:40 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:39 am
Posts: 14
That's a very good way of seeing it Scarlet. Yes, it obviously shows people are looking out for the children, I hadn't really thought of it from that angle! I am hoping whatever it was was dealt with, it all seems to have gone quiet now. I might try and have a little word at the school to see if there have been any further updates.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:03 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
Posts: 1440
Sometimes I think we can warn our children about things until we are blue in the face but they often don't take the information on board until they see or hear of something happening in their own area. Once the worrying subsides, which it will, your son may remain more aware when he is out with his friends and this may keep him out of harms way in the future.

One tip which a friend of mine who works in child protection told me, was to tell my children to walk tall, confidently and with purpose when they are out on their own. It is more likely for children who are stumbling along looking at the floor, seemingly unaware of their surroundings, to be approached.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Stranger worry
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:17 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:22 am
Posts: 3664
That's very true. My children have been sneaking into a field next to the park and ending up miles away....I'm not too happy with DS doing this, but have also found out that DD goes and then will have a falling out with her friend who will storm off and leave her on her own. I thought I should explain a few things but she just did a bit of dramatic crying and then in the next breath asked if she could watch the tv. :? DS2 told her to take this big boy we know with her because he'll be able " to punch someone to the ground " :shock: I asked him if he really thought a 10 year old would be able to take down a big man, look at Daddy I said , for example , who flexed his muscles in reply...yes, I think so DS said :? I left the room quickly as DH started swinging DS around by his ankles in a further reply :roll: , but you're right Fran , they think they're invincible !


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
CALL 020 8204 5060
   
Privacy Policy | Refund Policy | Disclaimer | Copyright © 2004 – 2016