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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:27 am
Posts: 2086
Location: Barnet, Herts
Hi all. Just wondered if I am overreacting to my 15 year old DS's lack of communication whilst away on a school skiing trip.
He left on Friday with strict instructions to text me when they arrived at their hotel in Austria.
On Sunday I had heard nothing despite sending several texts. So I contacted another mother whose son my DS is friends with - she assured me all was well and said she woulld tell her son to ask my DS to contact me. He eventually rang me saying he was using his friend's phone as his wasn't working! Why couldn't he have done this before? I rang the phone company and got it working ok. He was supposed to call yesterday but hasn't done so - I am really cross now!
He has never been good at keeping in touch - last year's ski trip was almost as bad but at least he answered my texts then.
Is this a boy thing?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:57 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:08 pm
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Yes!

Sounds just like my eldest. We only get texts / phone calls if he wants something (picking up usually) otherwise unlikely to hear anything. I operate on the "no news is good news" theory whenever he is away.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:04 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
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It's not just a boy thing, it's a teen of a certain age thing

At 15 they feel they dont want to be reporting back every two minutes (or so it seems to them) like they did when they were 12/13/14. They are growing up and away from us and this is their bit of independence.

For some it's they don't realise how worrying it can be for parents and they just don't 'think'.

Whatever the reason, if they know you are worried and you only want one text when they arrive it might just prick their conscience enough ............... or maybe not!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:13 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:14 pm
Posts: 612
Location: essex
My 18 year old daughter spent last week on a school tip to Istanbul. She texted to say she was boarding the plane at Heathrow and then texted again to say she had landed when she got home, this was despite having promised to send a couple of words each night to say she was still alive. I was very cross, I know she is 18 and on a trip with teachers but when they are away you do worry don't you? I completely understand and do not think you are over reacting at all. What we do about it is another matter though, she just shrugged when I moaned and went out !!

She is off to university in September and I am wondering how much contact to expect. I would like a one word text each morning to reassure myself that she is not lying in a pool of vomit but mothers in a similar situation say I should back off and expect an email a fortnight.

It is not a boy thing, it is a teenage thing.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:19 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:27 am
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Location: Barnet, Herts
Thanks!
I just think that it seems like a lack of respect for my feelings - I am not expecting a long epistle or phone call every night - I just wanted to know that he had arrived safely! :roll:
After all he is only just 15 and skiing is quite dangerous !
Ah well, hopefully we will remember to pick him up from the airport on Friday! :lol: :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:28 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:08 pm
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No need to worry there - I'm sure you will quickly hear from him if you forget! :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:47 pm
Posts: 464
Location: South Bucks
If my kids are away with school or with friends for a weekend I assume 'no news is good news' and I trust the adults who are in loco parentis to inform me is there is a problem. We don't use mobile phones a lot anyway but I certainly wouldn't expect to hear from them other than to be told when/where to pick up if that has changed from the original plan. I don't want them to feel like they have to report in especially when I hope that they will be having (safe) fun away from home.

Our teenage boys were away for two weeks last summer for an army cadet camp and we didn't hear from them until the day they were arriving back. We missed them, wondered what they were up to and hoped they were having a good time but were happy to hear all about it when they got back.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:11 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:57 pm
Posts: 1446
I've been discussing getting DS1 a phone with OH recently and come to the co cushion that if he ignores my calls or texts then I'll take away his phone! I'm not the pestering type as I'm used to not chatting to him for a couple of weeks at boarding school.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
Posts: 1440
zorro wrote:
Thanks!
I just think that it seems like a lack of respect for my feelings - I am not expecting a long epistle or phone call every night - I just wanted to know that he had arrived safely! :roll:


I totally agree with you zorro. When my middle DS was away with the school last year for a week I just wanted him to text me to say he had arrived safely. He didn't. I hung on until mid-week and sent him a short text saying something along the lines of 'Hope you are having a good time'. He eventually replied. I was upset and cross. I too think it is a lack of thought and respect and I spoke to him about it when he got back. He didn't mean any harm he just didn't think. He did seem to take what I said on board and I must say he has been much more considerate in this respect ever since. His older brother has always been happy to send a quick text so I suspect it is more to do with personality than age or gender.

Like you, I don't think of myself as being particularly demanding. For me it's about mutual respect.

Yes, I am sure your DS would be on the phone to you if you didn't turn up at the airport! :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 5:08 am 
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Joined: Fri May 25, 2007 10:22 am
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No news is always a good news.


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