15 yr old boy - lack of communication!

[DC17C]

Remembering back to school trips I went on in the days before mobile phones I would have been having far to good a time to think about parents. I would go with the no news is good news thing. I know it is horrible when there have been accidents recently.

Mind you I probably put my parents through it as i joined the RAF and was posted to Germany. Mum was petrified when I left to drive my little car over to the continent on my own for the first time- I did phone when I got there though but I was 24 by then!

[Looking for help]

No news is always a good news.

Ever the optimist

My 21 year old is off skiing this week, and I am almost sick to my stomach - he's with a group of students and not having lessons, although he has skiied before. He has texted at night to say he's alive, but only after I've texted to ask him

I agree with Fran - they just don't think It doesn't occur to them that you are at home fretting about it all.

My youngest went to France last year and although the school didn't allow phones we had given him an old one to squirrel away so he could send me a text every now and then to say he was ok. I got a text on the ferry on the way and one on the way back and that was it.

I gave him a right telling off when he came home.

[Guest55]

Schools often don't allow mobiles on school trips. Instead they post updates on their website - much more reliable!

[zorro]

They are allowed phones (and every gadget known to mankind!).
I wish they would put updates on the school website or send a group text to all parents to let them know all is well - I may suggest this!

[Amber]

Not just boys - in fact DS1 is brilliant at letting me know where he is and what is happening. DD is infamous for her one letter texts - we will get "N" or "Y". She then switches the phone off to ensure that we get no further opportunities for clarification. I think the longest one we ever got was "yay".

[mystery]

Remember pre-mobile days? I like WFG's idea though. The fact is when someone has a mobile with them you think there is somethng wrong if they don't communicate. If they didn't have ready access to a phone you wouldn't be half so worried.

[mike1880]

I'm baffled that anyone expects to hear from their kids when they're away. It defeats the object of sending them away if you're constantly bombarding them with texts demanding to know if they're OK. If anything really serious did happen, after all, your child is about the last person who'd be in a position to let you know.

If you're going to fret that much while they're away, to the point of showing them up in front of their friends (zorro) then you could just wrap them in cotton wool and put them in a nice safe corner at home, that way you won't have to worry about them.

Or you could try letting go? They're with a shedload of responsible adults.

Mike

[Amber]

I'm baffled that anyone expects to hear from their kids when they're away. It defeats the object of sending them away if you're constantly bombarding them with texts demanding to know if they're OK. If anything really serious did happen, after all, your child is about the last person who'd be in a position to let you know.

If you're going to fret that much while they're away, to the point of showing them up in front of their friends (zorro) then you could just wrap them in cotton wool and put them in a nice safe corner at home, that way you won't have to worry about them.

Or you could try letting go? They're with a shedload of responsible adults.

Mike

Ooch, this is a bit harsh, isn't it? When I go away from home, I always send a text to my family to let them know I have arrived safely. I stay overnight away from home once a week and my family like to know that I am safe, that I have got back to my hotel at night and am OK. I would not consider this an intrusion of my privacy or an indication that they don't trust me...it is just one aspect of being part of a family. I don't see any harm in teenagers knowing that parents, as part of their love and care, might like to know that all is well. Those teenagers are often the first to shout if a parent doesn't respond exactly when they want a lift ('Where r u?!'); I see no harm in showing them it cuts both ways and that some parents like a bit more reassurance than others. Personally I don't think the expectation of a text a day is excessive...and it is a lot fewer than many teenagers will send to their friends over the course of an hour.

[marigold]

That is a brilliant point Amber.
My daughter has not been seen without her phone for at last two years, I think she even takes it into the shower in case she misses some exciting up date on facebook. She texts her millions of friend almost continuously but her family are more often than not completely in the dark about where she may be. When she had an interview in London I went up too and did a little light shopping. When I failed to respond promptly to her text saying she had finished and was going back to Liverpool Street she phoned my husband at work, getting him out of the operating theatre , demanding to know where I was and why I wasn't answering my phone, as if he would have a clue! Cuts both way kids.

[zorro]

Mike - I don't think that wanting to know that a 15 yr old has arrived safely after a 3 hour coach trip from Munich Airport arriving at 2 in the morning is 'constantly bombarding them with texts demanding where they are' - I find that statement quite condescending.
Even my husband who is very laid back was annoyed that we hadn't heard anything.
I am not fretting while he is away either- he has been away many times before and I certainly don't wrap him up in cotton wool ( he wouldn't be on his 4th ski trip otherwise would he?)
As to being 'with a shedload of responsible adults' - some things are not under their control as the poor parents in Belgium will testify.
Obviously you are Superdad- I bow to your superior parenting skills.