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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:02 am 
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I need some advice regarding DS2. He's having a mini meltdown. I'm having a huge one. :shock:

Last night he sobbed and sobbed before bed that he's worried that he isn't going to pass and that I'll be really upset which makes me feel awful .He also says that he thinks I'm making him do too much work and he really just wants to see a friend once in a while. He also told DD that he is suffering a lot at the moment :? . I feel as if I'm sending him up a chimney and not sure what to do. He spends an hour after school at the park with his friends and then Mon to Thurs works with me at home for about 45 minutes. I'd actually like to do more and I am worried that his maths has too many gaps for me to fill in the time left ( but that's another story ) so maybe I'm being a bit manic about the whole thing. It's hard stopping the 11 plus becoming this huge thing at this point though. Do you think I'm doing too much or is he just being lazy ?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:09 am 
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Oh, scarlett, I feel for you. Others often have wise words about these sort of things, I just empathise! It doesn't sound like that much to me but it probably does to a 10 year old boy and I guess he is picking up on your anxieties. Maybe a bit of a break and then an agreement between the two of you on how to go forward? Another trip to visit the school? Outright bribery :D ?


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:13 am 
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He's not doing too much, he's just aware, or thinks he is, that other kids don't have to do what he is doing. If everyone was doing it then he wouldn't be as bothered. Have you told him that a lot of kids are doing triple that?!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:13 am 
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Oh gosh, I'm no good at these things either, I just tend to bluff my way through each home situation as it arises :shock:

I can't add any more than Scary mum really, and hope someone much wiser comes along soon.

Do know though, that we've all been there and done it, and come out the other end so your son isn't unique - they all go through it!

PS: i don' think he's doing too much either.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:19 am 
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Location: Reading
we have had a couple of melt-downs along the way and as a result are currently doing very much less than you at the moment. I also know that there have been a few pointed comments from class mates which has made her aware she is doing something that most others are not. We are going back to the GS next week for open afternoon and I am relying on this visit to re-enthuse her ready for a summer of much more practice. Plus, once she is out of school there will be no homework to contend with and no one else to see what she is, or isn't, doing.

Hang in there, but maybe a break for a wee while might ease the tension.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:25 am 
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I've been thinking about you and wondering how you've been getting on!

I don't think it sounds too much but I bet my DS would say the same! I agree that another trip to the school, perhaps a pep-talk from DS1 about getting through it and how great GS is? And a daily/ weekly reward (carrot/ stick!) to keep him going from day to day. And pointing out that this 'topping up' won't be wasted whatever school he ends up at.

And, as Reading Mum says, perhaps agreeing a reigning back for a week or two or something (that would make me feel very anxious, but realize it might be really necessary for DS!) before beginning again properly?

And, for you, regularly coming on here and timetabling in wine'o'clock on a Friday night!

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:27 am 
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Location: East Kent
disguise some of the practice?

play scrabble and boggle as a family, cards ( 21/black jack is brilliant for quick addition and subtraction) word games, times table games online . It is possible to sneak all kinds of learning in when they least expect it..
:wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:31 am 
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Waiting_For_Godot wrote:
He's not doing too much, he's just aware, or thinks he is, that other kids don't have to do what he is doing. If everyone was doing it then he wouldn't be as bothered. Have you told him that a lot of kids are doing triple that?!


Yes, I have told him that but he doesn't believe me :roll:

He is desperate to go to the Grammar so that isn't a problem and I have also pulled the old cards/ scrabble trick...but he isn't really interested in that either. Perhaps he's tired. I have offered a treat but he's King of the Martyrs at the moment. Aargh. I'm going to need a liver transplant . :P
When I say that he has to put the time in and practise he just huffily says he knows that and then bursts into tears and announces that I think he's dim or that I think everyone will pass apart from him ! I don't really know where these outbursts have come from. I'm trying to remain calm and rational and talk it all over with him, but I'm worried now he's going to burst into tears during the actual exam...or do you think he'll be ok by then ? Or do you think I'm the one in a frenzy ?! I can't bear it ! The thing is he's doing ok score wise, just the last couple of days has been a bit lazy and not reading the questions properly so I made him do another set of questions while he's huffily looking at the clock .DH isn't helping either as he keeps promising exciting things in the evening and DS2 is then rushing his work, every 2 minutes hanging out of the window shouting " There're going without me ! " and then I end up up screeching like a fish wife at DH who is hanging around outside like a bad smell. Our neighbours must love us. :shock:


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:38 am 
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Location: Reading
yoyo123 wrote:
disguise some of the practice?

play scrabble and boggle as a family, cards ( 21/black jack is brilliant for quick addition and subtraction) word games, times table games online . It is possible to sneak all kinds of learning in when they least expect it..
:wink:


we have certainly kept up with the stealth practice. I play scramble on iPad a lot so she and DH are now trying to beat me - ever, even 1 round :D. Word Monster is another one she likes.

I have also left a few things lying around that she can just do a bit of e.g. she struggled with finding the 3 letter word that had been removed so I trawled through every paper/book/download I had and collated all the questions into a 10 page practice sheet. I haven't made her do any but I noticed in passing this morning that she is on to page 3 on her own.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:39 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:19 am
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Ugh, you have my sympathy - one of my biggest fears was that ds would just burst into tears and leave the exam! However he did fortunately grow up a bit :-) He is another who can be very quick to say he's useless or that I will be upset with him, but I try to put it down to hormones and be kind but brisk, not give him too much chance to dwell on it!

Maybe scale back a bit, do 3 lots of 45 minute sessions but every other day, so he feels like he's getting a break? You can always step it up again in the holidays when there's no school?

Good luck, you will (both!) get through it :-)


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