Relationships at Age 12?
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Re: Relationships at Age 12?
My ds is almost 14 and at a boys' school but this appears to make his peers even more obessed with girls 
Obviously we're from a faith background where we don't sanction 'relationships' before marriage and so we've certainly discussed and talked about this topic openly.
No-one has mentioned facebook though; I do log on to my son's FB page (and he knows and is fine about it) and delete the inappropriate images of girls that his school friends post.
I'll leave everything else on, even if I'm not 100% happy about it, but I don't think it is fair that he should open his account and see half naked women/girls in front of him.
Previously, these seemed to be general sleazy internet photos but this term (Year 9) I'm sadly seeing boys posting pics of their 'girlfriends' half naked for all to see. I think many are from the girls' Grammar next door. In this sense, although we talk about 'predatory girls' they are more at risk of having such photos emblazoned across the internet and possibly popping up later in life when they'd much rather not have them seen again. I would say that parents of girls need to seriously discuss this with their daughters and explain the realities of allowing 'boyfriends' and others to take these compromising photos.
Obviously we're from a faith background where we don't sanction 'relationships' before marriage and so we've certainly discussed and talked about this topic openly.
No-one has mentioned facebook though; I do log on to my son's FB page (and he knows and is fine about it) and delete the inappropriate images of girls that his school friends post.
I'll leave everything else on, even if I'm not 100% happy about it, but I don't think it is fair that he should open his account and see half naked women/girls in front of him.
Previously, these seemed to be general sleazy internet photos but this term (Year 9) I'm sadly seeing boys posting pics of their 'girlfriends' half naked for all to see. I think many are from the girls' Grammar next door. In this sense, although we talk about 'predatory girls' they are more at risk of having such photos emblazoned across the internet and possibly popping up later in life when they'd much rather not have them seen again. I would say that parents of girls need to seriously discuss this with their daughters and explain the realities of allowing 'boyfriends' and others to take these compromising photos.
Re: Relationships at Age 12?
Oh, I agree. Some of my young pupils have the most awful photos of themselves in suggestive poses on Facebook - I am gobsmacked that their mothers allow it, and allow it they do because they are 'friends' with their kids on there in a rather self-congratulatory 'I like to see what she is doing' way. So why not start by getting that photo down?
Re: Relationships at Age 12?
Oh I dread my girls getting older. I went to an all girls school where very few had boyfriends, right the way up to 18. I have relatives who fairly recently went to mixed grammars and boyfriend-girlfriend stuff did not seem to be the norm for them either.
But at the girls grammars round here it seems quite normal to be as good as married off from 16, maybe earlier. The parents seem quite "strict" and "sensible" and "posh" middle class too (but not by my definition of strict - it seems more important to me that you wait a while for a serious relationship than that you hold your knife and fork perfectly).
Is it partly because in general people's living standards are higher and in more houses both parents are out all day? More children seem to nightclub and party all night than ever before (which all costs money) and more children have private space in a house to "do their own thing".
But at the girls grammars round here it seems quite normal to be as good as married off from 16, maybe earlier. The parents seem quite "strict" and "sensible" and "posh" middle class too (but not by my definition of strict - it seems more important to me that you wait a while for a serious relationship than that you hold your knife and fork perfectly).
Is it partly because in general people's living standards are higher and in more houses both parents are out all day? More children seem to nightclub and party all night than ever before (which all costs money) and more children have private space in a house to "do their own thing".
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Daogroupie
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Re: Relationships at Age 12?
Oh my goodness it gets worse. Why are some girls so desperate to please their boyfriends that they will do this? Is it because in their school you are a nobody unless you have a boyfriend? I cannot understand the mothers who let their dd's come to school looking like they are heading for a night club. Disco's at 12 so what is left to do when they are older. But it is still the silly squealing like pigs that gets me the most. Is it downhilll all the way now or is there an age when they start to get a little serious again? DG
Re: Relationships at Age 12?
DD aged 16 seems very sensible, open, honest, with perhaps shorter skirts than I would like, and more make up. When she was about 13 she had her head turned a little and did some silly things - texting things she wouldn't consider saying to people (boys, since you ask), now she seems so mature. In fact I think it may be a bit like Ab Fab in our house and she is Saffy! So DG, maybe it does change, or maybe I got lucky!! Or maybe I'm about to get a shock!!
scary mum
