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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:23 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 1:36 pm
Posts: 35
This is a great forum and there are a lot of advice, tips , stories, experiences scattered in all the threads and posts.

I wonder if I get good response if I asked all of you great parents to post your tips, advice, experiences in a single thread - things like what really worked, what didn't, "If I had to do it all over again, I would...", "I wish I did...", "I wish I didn't... " ...

This could be about bringing up, growing up topics or also related to 11+.

I was thinking of separating this into two threads, one for Son and another for Daughter, but thought moderator wouldn't like it ( i.e duplicate post ), or should I ?!

Thank you.

YCS

Edit / Added: I just found it! Its called "Father Forgets" ( you can also watch on YT - read by Dale Carnegie )

Father Forgets

by W. Livingston Larned


Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, form a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much."

_________________
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it" - George Bernard Shaw


Last edited by YourChildrenSuccess on Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:42 am, edited 7 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:11 pm 
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I wish I had been home more when they were young!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:14 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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stroudydad wrote:
I wish I had been home more when they were young!


:cry:

I would worry less - my DD didn't pass her 11 plus, but has ended up at a GS later on and has thrived. Now I worry about GCSEs/A levels etc. I'm hoping in 10 years time I'll be saying that I should have worried about those less (do we ever stop worrying about them? I doubt it).


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 1:36 pm
Posts: 35
stroudydad wrote:
I wish I had been home more when they were young!


Same here with my first one...but making it up now.

Thanks for the first reponse.

_________________
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it" - George Bernard Shaw


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:31 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 2:53 pm
Posts: 138
I wish I hadn't introduced my DD to swimming club. :wink:
Four sessions of training a week including 2 early morning starts. Countless boring galas wasting days of my life :twisted:

She loves it though and whenever I suggest a lie-in, she always demands to go. And she is incredibly fit!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:34 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 1:36 pm
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I am trying to recall a famous writing, or a poem I think...something along the line of A Father's regrets... about expecting too much from a child... maybe someone could prompt..

Thanks for the post Scarymum.

Added / Edit: I have just found it an added to he main post! Its called "Father Forgets"!

_________________
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it" - George Bernard Shaw


Last edited by YourChildrenSuccess on Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:25 pm 
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I had worried less; they are what they are and will all get there in the end, it's just the pathway for some of them is a little more meandering than it is for others:)


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:26 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:04 pm
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I regret not having them earlier and stopping at three. As Twitter users would say, hash tag broody!!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:07 pm 
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Bromley mum, you may think having four is not much different to three but I can assure you it is a whole world of pain more..from bigger car to family prices at events.. Allsports of things are a whole lot harder (and more expensive) for a family of four dcs


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2010 12:45 pm
Posts: 390
.........had realised how easy it was when they were tiny and with me all day long. All I had to worry about was changing the next nappy, pureeing banana and remembering the words to "Wheels on the bus" :(
Quote:
Allsports of things are a whole lot harder (and more expensive) for a family of four dcs
Holidays for one :shock:


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