Bringing Up and Educating my Son... Daughter... I wish I...

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.... had enjoyed those magic moments more instead of wishing time away. I couldn't wait till they could start nursery, start school .... I have four and "suddenly", the third is about to go to gs and I'm wondering where time's gone. Before I know it, they will all have gone ...

Stroudydad, having four dc is expensive. Mine don't do sport but everything each one does seems to cost money! It's expensive! Musical instruments! Why do we bother! I have to nag to practice and the cost ... no, I'm not going to think about it. We can't even contemplate going on an aeroplane! Holidays that sleep five (there are six of us!) Food! Cars! Buses (forget them)! Taxis (remember, have to use a large one), child care? can't think about it yet.

Not surprisingly, our dc aren't at private schools!

[pheasantchick]

I wish i'd been slightly more adventurous with food. They are not bad eaters, but they are limited in certain areas. Eg. Traditional English deserts ( crumbles, pies, custard etc), they won't touch/try.

[Amber]

....Had followed my instincts more when DD was small and not carted her off to all kinds of hideous organised activities involving logoed yellow T shirts, hard-eyed 'experts', gym equipment, small tennis rackets, clapping songs, swimming pools with silly worm things in them and other children who all seemed to be able to do everything far better than she could and looked like they were enjoying it too, with perfect smiley mothers who were perfectly groomed and skinny and had everything planned for their child's oh so perfect life. By the time I was pregnant with her brother and throwing up every time I tried to leave the house I was starting to get the hang of the idea that actually she hated these special toddler activities almost as much as I did and would probably still develop in a vaguely normal way without my putting us both, and the bank balance, through it ever again. Both brothers were spared any of it and despite the grim predictions of those who peddle the franchises for Baby Pole Vaulting, Toddler Japanese and Foetal Music classes, they seem to have made it to secondary school with no discernible developmental delays.

My one and only piece of advice to the new parent is that babies cry when they are tired. They might not need anything than a long lie down in a darkened room, just as we all do from time to time.

[stroudydad]

Gin, I know how you feel, but the good news is that, it's only likely to get worse...

[yoyo123]

My one and only piece of advice to the new parent is that babies cry when they are tired. They might not need anything than a long lie down in a darkened room, just as we all do from time to time.

wise words indeed!

[YourChildrenSuccess]

....Had followed my instincts more when DD was small and not carted her off to all kinds of hideous organised activities involving logoed yellow T shirts, hard-eyed 'experts', gym equipment, small tennis rackets, clapping songs, swimming pools with silly worm things in them and other children who all seemed to be able to do everything far better than she could and looked like they were enjoying it too, with perfect smiley mothers who were perfectly groomed and skinny and had everything planned for their child's oh so perfect life. By the time I was pregnant with her brother and throwing up every time I tried to leave the house I was starting to get the hang of the idea that actually she hated these special toddler activities almost as much as I did ..

Ha ha ha ... I knew Amber will soon appear!! Now I feel better for not sending mine to those logoed yellow T-Shirt activities! I am still resisting those Stagecoach allure ...

[Amber]

[Ha ha ha ... I knew Amber will soon appear!! Now I feel better for not sending mine to those logoed yellow T-Shirt activities! I am still resisting those Stagecoach allure ...

Plenty of drama in our house without paying someone to teach them any more.

Sorry to be so predictable YSC: but the experience of dragging poor DD to these little competitions,(for so they are, to a greater or lesser extent) was quite formative for me. Definitely took some of the shine off having a tiny person around, thinking this was what one had to do, and very liberating to leave it all behind. I am sure many parents really enjoy having organised groups doing 'age appropriate' activities to 'help' their children 'develop' and 'socialise' but for me being in those places, and getting out again, was the beginning of a journey away from (struggling for the right word here...) mainstream? conventional? neither quite right...modern? parenting. Funnily enough I have noticed some of my ideas appearing in much trumpeted books by 'experts' recently. Annoyingly others will be getting the royalties.

(You would never believe this, but once you start looking at theories of childhood, it all becomes very interesting. How childhood is used by politicians as a political tool; how childhood means different things in different cultures; how until recently there was no distinct concept of childhood at all. All so obvious once you know, but sitting at the back of a hall full of toddlers running up and down little ladders, one would never believe it was designed as anything other than innocent fun and 'development'.) Sorry, a bit heavy for this topic, I just get carried away.

[StJamesDad]

Thanks for the poem.
Spooky as I was thinking pretty similar thoughts yesterday.

I really need to smile when picking up towels, flushing loo's (only No.1's for some reason), turning off lights etc. etc.
Remembering that I did just the same (except maybe the flushing thing!) when I was their age and that I do not want them to grow up as fast as they are, yet alone hurry them along!

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Stroudydad

Thanks for that tip that life with four children is going to get more expensive; dh and I started totting it up yesterday and gave up, too depressed.

Then we had a horrid thought; unlikely but not impossibly; we could have university fees for years ... oldest two currently year 10 and year 9 - then year 6 - so I guess years 10 and 9 could overlap, followed by years 9 and 6 if on a four year course. Years 6 and Year 2 are unlikely to overlap; except year 6 currently says she wants to be a doctor. I really don't think she will be.

Fortunately, I really don't think my year 9 dd will go. I don't know how we'll cope! It's bad enough with activities!

I suppose there are advantages to having four ... struggling to think of many ...

[stroudydad]

I think the biggest advantage of having a large number is that they learn 'family skills, sharing, respect, independance,etc, the sorts of things that are important as you grow into an adult. And all without a yellow logo'd t-shirt.