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 Post subject: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:45 am 
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Joined: Sun May 30, 2010 4:01 pm
Posts: 127
My DS has just started in secondary school and will be 12 in January. We have not discussed anything with him regarding the facts of life as yet and they have not covered any aspect of it in school as yet :wink:

He probably knows bits and bobs anyway but I'm just wondering how you all approached the subject/ or intend to approach it - should I buy a book and go through it with him ( or rather DH :oops: ) what age? Etc.....

Just interested to know your views. :D

Loo x


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:51 am 
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Is he at an independent school? Ours cover this in stages in year 5 and 6. Fluffy kittens in year 5, dancing round the bedroom tickling with each other with a feather as foreplay in year 6. :shock:

It's all just been part of normal conversation here - but for a boy that age I would maybe find a book and ask him if he wants to talk about anything. That gives him a chance to deal with his embarassment, but know that you are happy for him to talk to you.

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The more that you read, the more things you will know.
The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.
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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:56 am 
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Yes he's at an independent. They didn't cover it at the prep school - used to I believe but then stopped. So far he's done chemistry and physics in science so I'm just wondering when the biology will start :shock: it's an all boys school as well so wether that's got anything to do with it - I know the girls school did it within the first few weeks!!


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:56 am 
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my DD covered this in infinite detail in yr5 at school (Indie).
I would go for a book and try to get across the idea that you are happy to discuss anything they wonder about. We had some very enlightening conversations in the car during that time.


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:01 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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Use the opportunity to raise things when there is a relevant topic on TV. Having The Talk is mortifying for them. He will know a lot, but may have some misconceptions and NOW is the time to put them right. Talk while in the car, on a walk - face to face is more embarrassing for them. People will be along to say you should have done this sooner, but that is irrelevant now! There are lots of books, I'll see if I can find some recommendations.


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:17 am 
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I think I found it more embarrassing then DS to be honest ! I felt he was looking at me through new eyes and he then went through an irritating phase of then talking about all kinds of cringy s e x related topics over the dinner table. DH did take him out for a long walk to discuss it further ...don't know what he said, but the dog looked pretty fed up on their return. :shock:

He goes to a boys school and the things they are told there and the language used, does seem a bit too much for a 12 year old. Do they really need to know anything that isn't mainstream at this age ?


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:24 am 
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Maybe we should have done it earlier or maybe not - the subject has just never come up- if it had then I believe in telling the facts no problem. He knows where baby's come from etc... Just never asked how it got there- if he hasn't asked further questions then he ( in my opinion) isn't ready or interested to be bombarded with other info at that point


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:27 am 
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Sorry Scarlett our posts crossed - I wasn't quite sure - does your DS go to a boys school as well?

I've been reading other websites which say there children knew everything aged anywhere between 5 and 11 - I still think he's only 11/12 what's the rush?


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:36 am 
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I am surprised that they left it that late - most primary Year 6 classes will have at least one girl with periods and maybe even a boy with a broken voice. My lot all knew from very young, I think, but it was certainly covered in state primary in Year 5 and in some eye watering detail again in Year 6. By Year 7 I think you will be looking at stuff on contraception, s exual health and s exual orientation, as well as a video of childbirth.

I bet the 'bits and bobs' (almost misread that last word in your post) he knows might turn out to be more than you think. One of mine had conducted a thorough internet search on condoms when in Year 4. As the computer was in a 'public' space and I checked the search history, the vehement denials were futile. I did learn a thing or 2 myself about that particular market though. :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: Facts of life ?
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:43 am 
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I'm sure too your son knows more than you think and that sort of conversation will start hotting up , just as his hormones will be too ! You do feel as if you are just blurting out initially ...it's not the sort of conversation that starts naturally, is it ? Now DS1 knows all the ins and outs ( :P ) DH is mainly reiterating the importance of treating girls with respect ..that sort of thing. I hope they talk about that at school too ? :?

Might need to get DH to talk things over with DS2 now. He's started prancing around the house in my brassieres. :shock:


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