11 Plus Exams Forum

Hi

I am probably panicking about nothing!
My daughter decided to go to the grammer(her choice), theonly thing is that she is the only one from her school.

I watched her at the weekend with her primary school friends who she will be leaving,and couldn't help wondering if she will be happy and if we should've pointed her in the direction of the local school.

Like I said probably panicking about nothing.

I have what is known as 'Sad mum syndrom'

Yup, you are panicking about nothing.

Here is a girl who knows what she wants and is not fazed by the fact that she does not know anyone at the grammar.

Your daughter oozes confidence and wi11 enjoy her new school beyond your wildest dreams.

You are also definitely suffering from 'Sad Mum Syndrome'.
Luckily, it does not need treatment. It wi11 run it's course and you wi11 be fine by the time you get her new uniforms sorted out; then you wi11 be suffering from 'OMG, Excited Mum Syndrome'!

Best Wishes to you and your Super girl,
LBSWM

My daughter left primary school two years ago in floods of tears as she was the only one from her class going to the grammar. Two years on she has more friends than ever! Don't worry, your daughter will not be the only one joining a new school not knowing anyone. They all make new friends when they move on.

Hi

when my DS went to grammar school we had moved and I was worried he would know anyone - turned out that 35 out of the 100 kids starting were the only child from their old school going to that grammar school. All made plenty of new friends.

Leaving Junior School is a traumatic time for mums too, particularly with either the first or last child - you may well lose touch with the other "mums in the playground" and have to start again from scratch. I'm sure your daughter will be fine, but it is quite natural to feel unsettled, particularly when you've decided to follow a different path to those around you.

My daughter is going to the grammar school in the next town, not out local one (her very decided choice!)Two other girls from her class are going with her, neither her particular friends. She is a bit nervous about it, but we have already made plans to maintain a couple of particularly strong friendships (same scout troop with one, same dancing class with another) and, as dd's birthday is at the begionning of the Christmas holidays, we have already planned a meet up with her old friends (a "flop" gathering to catch up on news while I provide copious amounts of pizza and coke). I'm sure that one or two friendships will survive, the rest will wither - I thought the party would draw the line under junior school and give some "closure"

At least one of our local grammars encourages a 'class parent' to organise a simple social event over the summer for the kids and parents to get to know one another. Check out with your child's new school if they do this; perhaps you could get involved?

Y

Grammar school although was always aware she may end up being the only one to get a place and have to make new friends. There were other girls from her class that took the 11+, including her best friend, but none were succesful.
She was as good as guaranteed a place at the local comprehensive (my son goes there) so that would have been a very easy option.
Now with 2 weeks to go at primary school she says she is scared, but admits she would quite likely have been scared if she was going to the local school, its a big step whichever senior school they go to. She is currently away on her year 6 holiday and she was scared about that as well. After 7 cosy comfortable years at primary there are so many big changes ahead. But I am confident we have done the right thing by opting for the Grammar. She is a quiet hardworking girl but easily distracted by 'naughty children' who have dogged her school life up to now. Grammar school is the best thing for her, she will be fine, fingers crossed!!

My daughter went to grammar school 2 years ago,she was 1 of 3 who passed in her year,the other 2 not her close friends,she was very nervous!

She was an extremely shy girl who lacked self confidence.After the open day she came home and said she'd made a friend,this girl is still her best friend 2 years later!

My daughter is now a happy ,confident (almost) 13 year old with a lovely group of new friends!

Your daughter will make a new group of friends and will forget all the old ones and her old school in no time,I'm sure mine is all the happier because she got to make a fresh start where no-one knew her .

Good luck to your daughter

Pensby(not logged on)

I know we're discussing the girls schools here, but I thought I would mention for those with sons in a similar situation:

My son is off to grammar in September and doesn't (or rather didn't) know anyone else as he is the only one from his school to go there. We had an invite to attend a sports week at Easter, which he did and made friends with current pupils and some others also joining in September. He has attended the CCF Centenary Celebration and the Summer Orchestral Concert. I feel this has helped him to get to know the school and will take the edge off not knowing many people when he gets there, even though he's not that worried about not knowing anyone. He is just over the moon that he has got a place at his favourite school. Induction day is next week and he is looking forward to seeing his new friends and meeting everyone else. He will, of course, be keeping in contact with his close friends from primary who live near to us.

By the way, LBSWM is right. I now have 'OMG Excited Mum Syndrome'!

With all best wishes.
K