Well, the youngest of four DD's is sixteen. I feel as though I could write a book...
Your daughter will change dramatically in the next few years and of course you want it to be a 'good happy change'.
How much she is affected by those around her is in part dependent on her own self worth, confidence and individual
identity. It can be a tricky time.
Some tips, although some of this will be nonsense to you; we're individuals, as are all our DC.
Don't lose the ability to parent your teens. They don't have to like you, but they must respect you.
During early teens, continue to instill good morals and values although DD may disagree at times. Let her win occasionally
But bear in mind that once you give in to something it's almost impossible to reel [it] back 'next time'
so think wisely.
A spat at 14 may save grief at 16. The opposite can also be true.
Too loose (or tight) a 'lead' at 14 may cause untold misery at 16.
What to do or say, or what not
do or say... is an never-ending question that will keep you awake.
Allow her to grow up.
She will develop her own beliefs, values, morals and ideals; try and respect them. I think the general idea is to have a happy, healthy, independent and confident young woman at the end of it all.
And stick this quote up somewhere; “If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear that someday you might find yourself believing that’s all that you really are. Time erodes all such beauty, but what it cannot diminish is the wonderful workings of your mind: Your humor, your kindness, and your moral courage. These are the things I cherish so in you. I so wish I could give my girls a more just world. But I know you’ll make it a better place."
Good luck, It's a surreal and amazing time watching and helping them become adults. Also like to add:
I'm sure we all know some wonderful, clever, beautiful people with pink hair, tattoos, nose / tongue studs, questionable dress sense etc. Gay, straight... whatever! The exterior is sometimes nothing more than an expression of identity. Don't worry too much if DD 'experiments'. It can be highly amusing at times (and drive you to tears).