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 Post subject: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:10 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:25 pm
Posts: 44
DS is going to GS this sep. Hè is very demanding every day hè wants something
Hè compare always by the others I Spoke with him that every family has her own rules DC think im not kind because I never let him sleep lat of play xboxS much 'S hè wants it only /2 hours weekend
We start go have much argument.. Please help and advise me I want to keep relation with him but it seems to me difficult hè is 11 old and very bright
Thanks in advance to all

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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 6:56 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8113
Owes - What do you feel he ought to be doing during the holiday?

Personally - my kids were never bothered by X box specifically but the summer holidays before and between GS they could do whatever they like (other games, web surfing etc) and get up whatever time they like. Really doesn't matter and draws a distinction between relaxation time and work time.


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 7:37 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:34 pm
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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Surviving-Your- ... mas+phelan
The above is a good read for coping with/living with pre teens/teenagers. It is ok for children to have a bit more freedom to do what they want to do over the holidays they will still get up in the morning when back at school. My DS will spend time playing computer games etc but also gets out on his bike and goes for a swim meets friends etc. He has to read a few books over the holidays - my dd had much the same last year before starting at GS and she has had a great year with a fab report of the end of it. She has got there with her own motivation - not me pushing her to do homework or do extra work etc.


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 8:54 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 6:08 pm
Posts: 373
I think you should sit down together and work out what is reasonable - draw up a list so that it is clear and stick it on the wall. Don't be strict just for the sake of it. There is nothing wrong with sleeping in late - he is coming up to the age where he will need much more sleep than he will in later life - the typical teenager. It is 9.50am and my 11 year old DD is still asleep, but I let it go because I know she needs it and she wakes up at 6am every morning during term time.

Regarding the XBox - i think you should ask him what he feels is a reasonable amount of time to play on it and compromise; maybe on certain days he is allowed more time than on other days. You don't have to give in to him if he says he wants to be on it for 5 hours a day, but listen to what he says. Don't let him give you the story that all his friends are on it all the time because that probably isn't true. Personally I think a couple of hours at the weekend might be a bit harsh, though.

To stop him thinking about his XBox all the time, I'd work out a list of things that you could do together as well, so that he is occupied. My DD makes her own list with three columns - free things, cheap things, expensive things. Then we try and cover what we can on the list, especially all the free things. Your DS is a clever boy and he needs to feel his interests and opinions are being considered.

Hopefully, there'll be fewer arguments. He will only get more opinionated and stubborn as a teenager, so try and keep things as smooth as possible for as long as you can! Your little boy is growing up, that's all.


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 9:40 am 
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We also plan things at the beginning of school holidays, a list of things we'd like to do and where to go. Then if we have a free day we just pick something off the list.

As to the Xbox we have strict no screen time til you're up, dressed and beds made, other than that I'm fairly relaxed but in truth the children are not that bothered.

I'd recommend any of the Faber and Mazlish books, definitely letting them help set the boundaries at this age seems to work.

As to sleeping in I can offer no help - they were all awake at stupid o'clock this morning. I dream of teenagers lying in...


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:47 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
Posts: 8228
Yes, what is wrong with children lying in unless they are preventing something important happening?


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:10 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:28 pm
Posts: 2439
All teenagers argue that joe Bloggs is allowed to do xyz, and they are not allowed to. I think the key is to lay ground rules and stick with them. We tend to have 'screens' - time and non - screen time, and no computers/x-boxes stop at 8pm. They often complain they are bored during non - x box time, but they soon find some thing to do. Be prepared or some resistance to the rules, but stay firm.


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:33 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:25 pm
Posts: 44
I would like to thanks all of you for the valuable advies really appreciatie ... Sorry some may got me wrong because of My weak english , I ment Dc want to stay awake for late time later than 9:30 pm which is not acceptabel for me
Thanks again and waiting to HEAR more experince and advice


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 6:20 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
Posts: 4608
I don't think 9.30pm is so bad in the holidays, but maybe playing Xbox etc up until bedtime isn't such a good idea as he needs time to wind down. Unless there is something urgent to do he can lie in in the morning. My DCs always seem to adjust their bed times & getting up times over the holidays - it is said that teenagers' (and maybe pre-teenagers') body clocks are better adjusted to go to bed late & get up late. I would go with the flow, but I personally wouldn't allow unlimited Xbox/computer games. Given the chance mine would spend far too much time on the computer etc. I try to allow them a certain amount as it is the holidays, but I do keep an eye on it.


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 Post subject: Re: Demanding Child
PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:23 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 6694
Location: Herts
I let my dd's sleep as long as they want in holidays because in term time they have to get up early seven days a week. However once they are up there are things they need to do and help with. We don't own any electronic gadgets except for phones and usage is monitored. They start to prepare for the year ahead so it does not matter so much when they miss classes in termtime through drama, sport and music. They go and hang out with their mates at the shops, cinema and swimming pool but certainly don't get to nothing all day as many of their friends do. They love to read, always got their noses in a book but I don't tell them off about it like my mother did me. They find academic work interesting so the phone is our main source of conflict followed by chaotic messy bedrooms. Elder dd was caught texting instead of doing homework while we were preparing tea and we have never let her forget it! They are very clear about what things cost so don't ask for expensive things. They love sleep as they don't generally get enough of it so they are always keen to go to bed as soon as possible. I would let your ds sleep in but remove all gadgets from his room before he goes to bed. DG


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