Sweets After School

[CarpeDiem]

She gets it on the basis that homework is done on the day set to the best of her ability and she maintains a tidy bedroom. It works as a great incentive that I may deduct money if she doesnt tow the line. I have never had to enforce that yet she values her pennies too much.

[aliportico]

Yes, easy answer is stop funding it If you're giving her money every day anyway, that is effectively pocket money already, isn't it? My 11 year old gets about a fiver a week (I do my kids' pocket money monthly by standing order so I don't have to think about it!), and it does help to focus their minds I don't link it to anything, and I've never used it as punishment either. They're expected to help when asked, and they buy family birthday and Christmas presents too.

[diseyp]

I absolutely agree that kids are suddenly far less desperate to have something if they are told they have to pay for it themselves !! also if it is daily cost that is an issue buy their favourite choc bars from the supermarket or £1 shop and give it them to eat after school ....

[countrymum]

Great advice - thanks. I suppose I kind of saw the money she takes in as 'work' funds - eg if she needs to ring home (if mobile not available) or gets stuck transport wise. Hmmmm don't know if could make her use that as pocket money - what does everyone else do if giving them 'back up' money into school?

Like the idea of pocket money so we'll definitely get that sorted and like Carpediems suggestions of just keeping on top of homework etc as incentives.

[KS10]

Going to the shop does seem to be a rite of passage. Cheaper supermarket chocolates just don't seem to have the same appeal in Year 7. Having said that, mine are definitely more discerning now that it is a question of using their own money.

[diseyp]

It's probably not really fair but I also throw the odd "who wants to earn a pound for doing .... ?" - for ... add a mundane job that I really don't fancy myself such as putting the dustbins out the front or at this time of year picking up pears off the lawn.

[KS10]

Mine use their own money. We give them lunch and pay for fish and chips on Friday. We also pay for their phone contracts. If they go over, they will have to contribute towards the extra payment. DS has lost his zip oyster. He has to pay for any leisure-related transport costs because he was careless. It might sound harsh, but he's only had to fork out once since losing it, so I don't feel too guilty.

[emsy]

My children have to use pocket money for sweets or chips on the way home too and they rarely get them as they would rather save the money for other things. If they need to pay for something essential like a call home or bus fare if the tram isn't running I refund them. I started giving pocket money at about 7 (£1 a week) as they kept asking for toys, sweets or novelty gifts when we were out - I said they could have what they wanted but they paid for it which stopped the mithering! I have increased their pocket money and added to what it needs to cover as they got older - my eldest is almost 16 and gets £70 a month to cover everything she needs including clothes, shopping with friends, cinema, make-up, food when out with friends etc. I buy everything she needs for school including uniform, stationary, school dinners and travel passes. She is getting very good at budgeting and hopefully will be able to cope when she has essentials like rent and food to buy as a student!

[countrymum]

Think you've all hit the nail on the head regarding using their own money definitely makes a difference to what they spend it on. Unlike me, who can be somewhat of a non saver - DD takes after her dad and counts and saves her pennies. She was given £15 as a gift once - in her money box it went - whilst she was deciding what to spend it on. Needless to say it's still there.

Refunding shall probably confuse me - so I shall carry on giving her a certain amount of 'back up' funds and if she wants to occasionally frequent the sweetshop, she can crack open her own money box

Can't believe I didn't think of that

Thanks forum!

[southbucks3]

Son number 1 goes to the shop after school, and now uses his 5.00 a week he receives in return for cleaning out chicken coop and hoovering the stairs at the weekend (Well most of it his his mud and filth)! He does try and save up for music downloads, but the lure of the corner shop and sharing munchies is too great.

He has stopped buying sweets and started buying pints of milk, hot chocolats and packets of biscuits, as his hormones rage, and his long skinny frame gets longer and skinnier. In year 7 we did persuade him to be a little choosy, there are some really vile sweets out there like brightly colored sugar 'energy licks', and really vile energy drinks, which he has now decided for himself are a bad lot.

May I suggest you take her into a corner shop one weekend and just explain that there are treats, and there are things designed purely to rot your front teeth away, so normal choccy bars ok, sucky dummies etc, bad! A bit like us choosing between a glass of red wine, or half a bottle of baileys! A few graphic internet pictures of rotten teeth on teenagers does the trick.