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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:31 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:46 pm
Posts: 188
Yesterday I sent my 17 year old dd 100 metres down the road to the primary school to collect my 9 year old ds, as I have done on a few occasions when I am busy. This time they came back with the message that she is no longer able to collect him because she is under 18.

My dd is in sixth form, a school prefect and very responsible and if I choose for her to collect my son surely that is my decision to make.

Legally there is no age stated that someone can be responsible for a child, just a matter of common sense.

A girl who was in her year at school has a 2 year old toddler of her own and that's ok apparently but my daughter isn't allowed to walk her 9 year old brother 100 metres down the road. Nanny state gone mad!!!

So advice please, can the school enforce this or should I take a stand?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:38 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:47 pm
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Location: Warwickshire
My older dc, aged 16 and 14, have been collecting their 7 year old brother. He just comes out of school, he knows who is collecting him, and goes to them.

At my 7 year old's school, nobody checks who collects a child.

I'm really surprised as your dd is 17. Is this just a private school - maybe they have different rules, or have changed their rules for a reason?

I'd phone or speak to someone. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:41 am 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
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Location: Reading
At my DDs former primary older siblings (and ceratinly younger than. 16) are often seen picking up younger ones. Year 6s are encouraged to start going home by them selves.

I think the onus should be on the parent to decide whether the older sibling is responsible enough to pick up the younger one.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:46 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:46 pm
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No ginx, not a private school, he only started there this term.

It was never a problem in his old school, all the teachers knew dd because they had taught her too.

I agree with you Tinkers I think it should be up to the parents to decide, which is why I'm peeved at the school.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
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I would make a stand for sure. My daughter used to collect my youngest son from primary school when she was 14 and he was 9; and sometimes his brother would get him when he was in year 6 and his brother in year 8. It is more than a mile down a country lane from our house to the primary school.
Also, children are allowed to walk home alone, surely? I would protest long and hard about this - anything which gives children some independence is to be applauded and protected.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:21 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 9:56 pm
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I would put in writing that you give permission for your 17 year old daughter to collect child x from school. Give a copy to the school, and send your daughter with a copy each time.

Your daughter could be married with children by now, and she is allowed to drive. This is the invention of someone at the school. The issue should be whether you have given permission for her to collect.

Did they send your daughter home with or without your son on this last occasion?

Is there a busy road to cross or could your son do the journey by himself?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:35 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:34 pm
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My DS used to walk down to the local library after school from about 9 and wait there until I collected him. Some who lived close to school walked themselves home. It is about the age when you need to start getting them used to the idea of doing things a bit more independantly or with other people if they are going to have to use buses get themselves to school for secondary. I would say my kid's school actively encouraged the children being more independant at that age.


Last edited by DC17C on Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:35 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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How ridiculous. At our primary school children were allowed to walk home from school on their own.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:53 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:47 pm
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Location: Warwickshire
DC17C, I too used to let my dc from about 8 walk to the library ... about 150 metres from school! Age 10 we let ds1 walk home, he loved the freedom. dd1, age 10, thought she was followed home, so as I was walking home anyway, she came with me. She didn't like it. dd2 walked to school at 9 because she didn't want to be seen with us. ds2 is 7, he can't wait to go alone.

I think it's good to be independent. Ds1 and dd1 cycle 3 miles each way to school ... along a cycle path, flat, fairly easy, but probably not much fun. Dd2, who started at gs in September, cycles just one mile each way, and loves the independence. She can leave when she likes. I like them being independent too - although ds1 and dd1 could cycle together, in practice they don't.

Nobody sees who collects my 7 year old.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
Oooooh, someone is too big for their boots, making up rules to make themselves important. There is absolutely no rule, law, by- law regulation, command, instruction, or anything else which deems your 17 year old cannot collect your younger child.

Stand your ground, write the letter as per suggested above and if they do it again tell them you will consider it kidnapping (only kidding).

As the suggested age for babysitting is 14 (depending on 14 yo's maturity and the ages/numbers of children being looked after) I cannot see how anyone can defend this crazy decision.

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