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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 8:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:17 pm
Posts: 552
Everyone hates this kid. I have yet to find one person who will say anything nice about her. She is infamous in our village for her rudeness.
She once went up to an elderly lady at an event and loudly told her to get out of her chair.
She is violent, horrible to toddlers, mean to babies and will shout at adults. And she is in my family. Her parents are "helpless" which means that I dread going to their house and I hate it when they come to mine.
Any tips with coping with her over the festive holidays?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:22 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 3:04 pm
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When she is in your house you have to deal with any bad behaviour firmly and confidently and don't back down. I had the same problem with a nephew (obnoxious, rude, did what he wanted) it was hard work but after a couple of incidents where we disagreed and he was told in no uncertain terms that it was my house and I was the boss he realised he had to tow the line! It was not easy particularly doing it in front of his parents (they have given up on him anyway) but it was worth it. Children like these need to be given boundaries in general their bad behaviour is just to see how far they can go before someone puts a stop to it, deep down they appreciate the discipline as it shows that someone cares.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:24 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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Usually these children have learned that bad behaviour is the way to get attention.

Praising them when they are well-behaved will work wonders.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
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Location: Reading
I'd go will both Guests.

Haven't had kids round quite so bad, but when they know YOU have boundaries which it is not acceptable for them to cross, they usually learn very quickly not to cross them, and praising good behaviour ignoring/playing down bad helps reinforce.

If that doesn't work then a less tactful approach of telling the parents they are welcome but the brat isn't might be needed. Might be what they need to prompt them into dealing with it.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:37 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:17 pm
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Good tips. Thanks.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
Yup, I have a couple of children who would behave in ways which were not welcome. I waited and waited for the parents to deal with their behaviour, but they never did so I took it upon myself to deal with it. I would say: thank you, but we don't behave like that in this house. It's my house and in here we don't jump on furniture/throw balls/scream (insert as appropriate). In this house we sit nicely/play quietly/talk to each other. It was amazing how quickly they conformed and these days I don't even need to remind them when they come in. It's very telling though that if their parents are present then their behaviour deteriorates :shock:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:32 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:05 am
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Quote " everyone hates thus kid"

:(


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:23 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
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neveragain* wrote:
Quote " everyone hates thus kid"

:(



Yes, that was the very first thing that struck me too. How very very sad. Not blaming OP, and of course this child cannot be allowed to spoil everyone's Christmas, but I think it's armed flag for a terribly sad child, who needs a heck of a lot more love and guidance from his or her parents. How sad. Do they spend any time with the child? How old is the child? Agree with all other advice, which an be delivered firmly and followed up with a smile.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:38 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:10 pm
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Tinkers wrote:
I'd go will both Guests.

Haven't had kids round quite so bad, but when they know YOU have boundaries which it is not acceptable for them to cross, they usually learn very quickly not to cross them, and praising good behaviour ignoring/playing down bad helps reinforce.

If that doesn't work then a less tactful approach of telling the parents they are welcome but the brat isn't might be needed. Might be what they need to prompt them into dealing with it.


Totally agree. I am a firm believer in the method that G55 advocates but I also will not tolerate bad behaviour from anyone in my house (including me! :lol: )

I know that the parents of this child are also in your family but, in my opinion, parents who are helpless are parents who have given up. There are two children like this in my family, with lovely parents who are unfortunately totally clueless when it comes to discipline.

These are doing such a disservice to their child, it's not the child's fault that she isn't disciplined but it's the child that other people will dislike. It's very sad. She is just a child after all. :(


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2013 9:20 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
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If I knew that everyone hated me I think I would behave rather badly too. :(

Totally agree with Yamin's post. If she visited my house I would try to find her some jobs to do - I have yet to meet a child who doesn't like baking, for example, or decorating cakes. If that was too hassly with a houseful she could take drinks orders, pass round nibbles, look after the little ones etc.


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