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 Post subject: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 10:23 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
Listening to a program on radio 4 on pushy parents. I'm just wondering why we have to be either
1. Totally uninterested and disengaged from all academic pursuits of our children, and not the least bit bothered about them
Or
2. Pushy parent.

So where is the middle ground? I realise people's definition of the two types will vary enormously, but why can't the media at least consider that there maybe parents who are neither pushy nor uninterested, but simply somewhere in the middle.

Hmmmmm.


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 10:27 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Herts
Sounds interesting. What time was it on? I might try and catch it on iplayer. DG


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 10:31 am 
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Eleven am, not sure what it was called, presented by Rosie Millard


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 10:48 am 
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Joined: Thu May 16, 2013 4:02 pm
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Yes, I heard some of it too as I'm at home this morning (Radio 4 on continuously in the background in this house so everyone always half listening. I reckon this is why my children had a wide and eclectic vocabulary early on, and why they hate The Archers with a passion!). It was called "In defence of pushy parents", presented by Rosie Millard. The bits I heard made me think we just need to find a middle ground somewhere as parents that lets us celebrate encouraging our children to fulfil their potential - not stressing them out by pushing them too far, and not just letting them get on with it by themselves. The programme was not just about academic "pushing" but discussed sport and other areas too. All very "now" and all very interesting.


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:55 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:32 pm
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A suggestion from the programme was to regard some parents as Actively Engaged in their children's education, to be celebrated rather than shunned as they improve society and are a driving force behind many young people's successes whether Olympic Gold, performing in a string quartet, or academic achievement.

Pushy parent labels are bestowed by parents who don't want to do all that stuff, or feel they aren't comparing well.

The ones I think are pushy are those who barrel into school hurling accusations that others are bullies; usually they need to look to their own DCs behaviour, or better yet in a mirror !


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 1:56 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:03 pm
Posts: 1382
I like to think of myself as a 'supportive' parent. I am in no way disinterested in my children (or their education) and am equally not **** bent on pushing them in a certain direction. However, if they wish to do or achieve something then I will do everything possible to support them in succeeding in it ... But they have to want to do it and buy into the process ...

Middle ground? :?

JD


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 2:06 pm 
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Yes JD - I think "supportive parent" is a much better place to be than "pushy parent". I hope that's what my children think I am... My current role as they move firmly into their teens is "embarrassing parent"...


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2014 2:14 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
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We have a long standing gauge of pushiness at our school, this is whether parents run round the entire length of the inter school cross country alongside the children shouting, ahem...encouragement, video camera in hand, or just get a bit excited at the end.

The best we saw was a dad training his daughter for this relatively small event, by cycling along side her barking commands as she ran down the lanes...My sons looked on aghast. :lol: They force me to take them to a big hilly field in all weather's so they can have a few practice runs....I grumble all the way around!


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 5:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:59 pm
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I'm sure I have said this before on here, but I think I can beat that. A few years ago, when ds1 was still in Primary, the mother's race used to be a straightforward sprint down the 100 metres or so track. The dad's race was the same and it was always exciting as parents would run as fast as their little legs could carry them and then have to stop suddenly as the track finishes about two metres before a 6 foot metal fence...

It's always very "jolly hockey sticks" (on speed) with an underlying theme of competitiveness/friendly rivalry. There is the usual "triers", those that enter for the spirit of it - those with bad backs/ankles etc (sometimes especially for the day or just to lull all the other entrants into a false sense of security) and those that know they haven't got a chance and kind of skip and giggle along at the back.

One year, as we all waited for the race to begin (it was in heats as sooooo many "willing" mummies had been drafted in) we noticed one mummy at the start line, limbering up with a full Olympic 100 metres warm up routine, before strapping on her running spikes...I kid you not!! That's dedication to the cause of winning a bottle of wine.

The following year they changed it to a slower obstacle race...the only sprint bit was at the end where you had to clutch a hat on your head with one hand and some sort of voluminous skirt (with stretched elastic) to your waist with the other. It was a particularly hot day and one mummy had turned up in a vest t-shirt and, dare I say it, not a sports bra...as her bosoms popped out - literally, so did the headmaster's eyes!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Pushy parents
PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2014 5:54 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 16, 2013 4:02 pm
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I now have a totally different interpretation of the word "supportive" bouncing around in my mind's eye, kenyancowgirl. Thanks a million...


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