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 Post subject: Opinions please....
PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:50 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
We had a lovely day out with daughter and her best friend today - the first since they went to different secondary schools after being inseperable at primary school. We happened to meet a lady who has known them on and off all their lives - and she asked the obvious question "Where are you at school now?"

Daughter named a well known high achieving girls grammar. Her friend named an OKish high school. It struck me for the first time that every time they are together from now on and anybody asks that question, friend will have to say what amounts to "I failed the 11+" What on earth will this do to her self esteem - never mind the friendship. It's made all the more poignant by the fact that friend actually got better SATS than daughter - daughter just performed better on the day.

I think this incident really summed up my concerns about the 11+ - what do others think?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:19 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:00 am
Posts: 438
Hi Katel,

My daughter was one of only two girls to pass for grammar in her class, and after the initial euphoria of her gaining a place at her preferred school, I had many sleepless nights wondering if we'd done the right thing in sending her to a school where she would know noone, leaving behind all her friends she'd been with right from the age of 3 at nursery.

She's now in year 8 and far from being the lonely girl I imagined in my sleeplesness she has combined both friends from primary who attend the local comp and all her new friends from grammar.

It really warmed my heart last week when I happened to drive past her school at home time to see some of her old friends there to meet her (girls and boys) and for them to walk along a mixture of black and green blazers. If anybody asks which school they now attend her friends just say "Oh she's the clever one" it hasn't damaged their self esteem.

I sometimes think it is us parents who worry the most. The children seem to just get on with it.

In fact I have a mixture of them on a sleepover at the moment, have to get upstairs to calm them down.



Scatshouse


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 Post subject: Anne42
PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:13 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2007 5:56 pm
Posts: 53
Location: Medway
Thats a coicidence , my daughter had a sleep over last night , she didnt pass, but all 4 of the friends she invited did , & my youngest takes test next saturday . I know she does feel it sometimes , but it hasn't stopped them all being friends.

Now , where is the Anadin ? :)


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:19 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 11:14 am
Posts: 10
My youngest has friends who are twins. One twin passed the 11+, the other one didn't but did not want to the grammar in the first place. As far as I know, they are both happy with what they have got.

I can imagine that if the twin had wanted to go to grammar, he may have found it hard to have a constant reminder in his sibling.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 3:42 pm 
My Year 7 son has just spent half term with his friends from primary school days; having sleepovers and days out. He is the only one at grammar and the others go to two different (but good) comprehensives. They don't seem to care about which schools they all now go to. They're just having a great time together and swapping stories about their respective schools! :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 5:57 pm 
I think you are right to say it is the parents who worry more and adjust less easy. My child takes 11+ on Saturday and I am secretly worried and she has admited that she too is worried that she will be the only one who will fail.

I know that the chances of that happening are slim since there are about 20 in class taking test, usually half pass. However, it just builds the fear factor. Any advice on how to prepare child for results coming through the door? Should they ring their friends and get it all over with on the phone on the weekend or wait until the Monday and face it then...

:?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 7:41 pm 
When my son was initially unsuccessful (later got through on appeal), he was particularly distraught about telling his friends as he was convinced he would the be only one to miss out on grammar school.

MSN messaging seemed to be the route favoured by the kids - he knew very quickly that same evening what their results were, before I spoke to any adults! This way he could see their results and then choose whether or not to reply - when he found out that only one boy had qualified for grammar, he soon perked up!

I think you'll find the youngsters agree between themselves beforehand whether to text, MSN or phone.


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