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 Post subject: Social media and privacy
PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 6:54 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
Both my 12 year old sons have Instagram. I'm ok with that. They don't have smartphones, they are only allowed to use it in public downstairs spaces. I do not check what they look at but do look at their feeds from time to time and only see silly stuff rather than anything horrid. They don't post much, odd decent selfie, pic of new hype t shirt. One boy has been on and off with a 'girlfriend' from same school. All been very innocent, I see her replies to his dms (private messages) as they come up on notifications tab, but I haven't read his private dms to her. Should I? He is only 12, but moody. No moodier than usual and seems ok. I am loathe to invade his privacy like this but am concerned I a, just nervous of seeing stuff I don't want to but if I act on it it shows I've betrayed his privacy. This would be fine if I had reason to be worried, but I dont, so I should just back off, right? They are always home, don't go off out of their own yet or anything, and both sons but esp this one do communicate well with us. And he is also a boundary pusher!

Just collecting thoughts. I want to be a responsible parent, but not s privacy invader.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:13 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:44 am
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I think you will get really mixed responses on this one.
I have 2 girls, 14 and 11.
I only felt the need to check DD1's phone for a brief period a couple of years ago when was going through a very low period and started extreme dieting and self harming - it transpired there were a few friends in the same situation. Thankfully we are through that now.
I have never felt the need to check before or since.
We have conversations about what can and can't be posted and I have decided that as they are open with me I will trust them.
DD1 actually helps me decide what sites are suitable for DD2 to be allowed on!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:16 pm 
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Thank you booelles mum, that's near my take on it. I don't want to be naive you see, and I'm certain there is not dodgy pics or anything, but he does turn away for when he has been sending her a private message, but then you would wouldn't you, from your mum?!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:20 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:44 am
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Oh yes!
I remember being a teenager very well and I would NOT have wanted my mum to be a fly on the wall!
I have friends at work who insist on being friends with their kids on all the sites they are on. Some things I would rather not know!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:23 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
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Lol! As far as I can tell they seem to spend most time looking at prankster vids. Language may be a problem here, but don't think they risk ********. I think if I asked him he'd show me the dms but as you say, you don't really want your mum to see do you?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 7:28 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:44 am
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Once they got to seniors I stopped worrying about them hearing certain words, I figured they had heard them all anyway at school.
I do remember a conversation with DD1 though where I had to rank the words in order of badness for her as she genuinely didn't have a clue. Now she knows there are words that are not to be used in any circumstances!


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