Dear mm 23292,
I feel your anguish and I am fully compassionate with you and your DD.
I do hope that your DD’s health will improve.
I will write here my gut reactions to your post, but I am sure that more knowledgeable people will be able to address your concerns better than me:
Thankfully, my DS has never been chronically ill, but I used to be a ‘pestering’ parent as soon as he had to miss primary school due to some minor illness as I would go in person to get these handouts. For example, during his two weeks of absence due to chicken box (he had had it badly)
, I was standing in the playground at 3:20 every working day to have a chat with a teacher and get the handouts given to his table on the day. And - I thank God for that- his teacher was a wonderful person who understood totally my stance.
I had come to realise that -sadly- if I were not doing this, I would know nothing, absolutely nothing, of the lessons given on the day.
This is the problem with the state primary schools in England: teachers tell you ’do not worry, your child is fine’ or ‘will be fine’. I have learnt not to believe one bit of this phrase and to rely on my own efforts.
And anyway, to attain a really good level at school in primary nowadays, parents cannot rely only on the curriculum taught in state schools and the teachers who - poor souls - have to take care of 30 pupils and do all the administrative work on top of that. Why would parents DIY or pay some tutors for the 11+ if topics having to be covered for the 11+ were taught in state schools?You
only, as the parent, can really help your DD and push her up…. she will be back at the top table if you do so…
Maybe also, you could consider joining some home schooling support group in your city to get more clues how you could support your child’s learning better?
Maybe someone could send you the current curriculum for primary schools?
Please, do not feel disheartened as if you were facing an impossible summit to climb. I remember a boy whose mum was on this forum a few years back. Her son had to undergo chemotherapy in year 5 and 6… Despite this major hurdle, he has been successful in obtaining a GS place. A real young hero!!