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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:06 pm 
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Following on from Peitpois' thread about the I.S attacks in Paris, I am wondering how people tackle issues like this with their DC. My older one is 14 and reasonably aware of current affairs. My younger one is only 10 but is already terrified of ISIS. It's not that I am consciously exposing her to it - she picks it up.

I was sobbing openly this morning as the news unfolded. I don't know how best to deal with what I see as a clear and present danger to British - and specifically London - soil without unnecessarily scaring my dc. We cannot hide it from them, so what do we tell them? what do you tell your dc, if anything, and at what age?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:31 pm 
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I suspect a rather matter of fact way is the best if you can manage it - I suppose I was lucky, when I was at school in Birmingham and then Uni in London and the IRA were planting bombs ++ I had parents who had been through WW2 in the services and living in a big city and had seen far, far more than this. I think it was the old "Keep Calm and Carry on".


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:53 pm 
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Yes, I must admit, I have hidden the worst of my personal sadness from the boys (12), and tried to be matter of fact about it, esp as one has a school trip to Paris next year. I do not want him to catch my fears. We talk about how dreadful it is, and how touching to see the world being sad for them. We talk about how if we stop doing things or going places then the terrorists win, that the chances of being caught up in an attack are still statistically tiny and how we must stand shoulder to shoulder with all religions in our condemnation of the attacks.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 5:04 pm 
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The other thing I try to say at times like this, is to remind the boys "that the world is a wonderful place, in which bad things sometimes happen, but never forget its a wonderful place full of 99% wonderful people". We have to believe this, or we fold.....


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 5:41 pm 
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I try and do that too Yamin. I tell my dc that most people in the world are good, kind people just like us. Sometimes I feel like there are an awful lot of bad people out there though. :(


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 7:24 pm 
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Location: East Kent
There is more good in the world than bad, we need to keep this in perspective. As a friend of mine has just posted on another forum


Quote:
Tell them how people helped one another, the police and soldiers came to help, the hospital helpers and people in the streets at every place helping one another. Reassure them that are far more helpers in the world than bad people. Talk about how they can be a helper and how this can help everyone not to be afraid.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 9:26 pm 
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Yamin151 wrote:
The other thing I try to say at times like this, is to remind the boys "that the world is a wonderful place, in which bad things sometimes happen, but never forget its a wonderful place full of 99% wonderful people". We have to believe this, or we fold.....

+1

For year 6 and secondary school kids, it might be an idea encourage them to read the last Morpurgo's book, An eagle in the snow.
In a nutshell, it is the story of a WWI hero who regrets not to have shoot Hitler when he could have had during WWI... A very touching story.

I cannot think of any modern story which could tackle the problem of terrorism. Is there any?
About the IRA, several years ago, I enjoyed very much a serie of several books by Joan Lingard: the Kevin and Sadie stories , a romance between a catholic and a protestant and their difficulties to live their relationship. It is for older teenagers, may be 14-16 (according to the maturity of the reader).

Maybe there are some other titles out there which could help us to talk with our children?

Moreover, the attitude to be always open and respectful towards polite and well-behaved children from all backgrounds seems primordial to me. I have noticed that, sometimes, after having suffered from racism , some people from minorities isolate themselves and their own children from others of a different cultural background. :( :( This is so wrong!!
ISIS people are barbaric murderers. Full stop. Do they have a iota of humanity left? I doubt it.

hermanmunster wrote:
I think it was the old "Keep Calm and Carry on".

exactly! :D


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2015 10:50 pm 
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I'm afraid I prefer the honest, "talking" approach, than encouraging them to read a book - it is more instant and allows them to address any questions or concerns. Being honest, watching the news and identifying the sorrow, the unjustness, and the heart warming stories of people queuing up to give blood, for example, helps to give balance.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 7:56 am 
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The news is there to watch on tv or listen on radio as a family, discuss it as a family and relay fears as a family. As a parent if you feel sad and teary why can't your children be told why as soon as they are able to understand situations and vocalise their thoughts. Not talking to one another and not showing emotions about situations is one of the reasons children look to other avenues to share their feelings and in some very sad cases will be indoctrinated by extremist groups.

Most of us were children during the latter years of the cold war, we had public information leaflets lying on the kitchen table about what to do in the event of a nuclear explosion, works sirens were used to test drive emergency situation alerts, pop songs, books and films were made about what may happen. None of it was hidden from us, we coped by talking, I do feel we should be honest with children and make them aware of the situation.

Besides anything else the schools round here have had several assemblies , of varying levels of urgency depending on the situation, to discuss terrorism and extremism and far right extremism, so if you don't talk with your children the schools and guest speakers will anyway.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:34 am 
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My lot are maybe a little older than some people's children on here but I have been hugely impressed by their response to this, in terms of trying to unpick the causes of it as well as mourning the terrible loss of life. Even my youngest noted that the enormous death toll arising out of daily air strikes on Syria is only erratically reported. I think it's important to talk about it and help children get risk into perspective too. We are a very 'talky' family and often have R4 on so they have grown up with programmes like The Moral Maze and Thinking Allowed - there are lots of really intelligent programmes (on all kinds of subject matter) which can help to get young people to see many aspects of an argument or situation, and that can help to defuse some of the high emotions in horrific situations like this. Listening to politicians or watching graphic news reports is one thing, but children also need of hear examples of people disagreeing respectfully and debating intelligently - I think R4 is one of the last bastions of this kind of media coverage.

From another angle, one thing my own parents used to say to me is that it's a beautiful world, it's only the people who spoil it! We often take solace in nature, get out into the hills and enjoy the feeling of being part of something much bigger and more awesome than this squalid bear pit can be at times.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot ever think it is right to take the life of another human being, not in the name of your God, your country or your right to freedom. There has to be a better way. Sadly, it feels naive to wish that everyone could just teach their children this.


Last edited by Amber on Sun Nov 15, 2015 8:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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