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 Post subject: Shy child
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:34 pm 
Hello,
My daughter is a very sensitive and shy child, and also very tall for her age. My worry is that she might be picked up and bullied when she is in secondary school. We hope she can go to a grammar school. Are grammars generally better regarding bullying issues and dealing with it ? Also, does anyone have any experience of their shy child starting at grammar? How did it go? Many thanks.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:15 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:55 pm
Posts: 851
Location: Bexley
Poor you. My eldest son is not particularly shy but is not very good at mixing and yet he seems to be happier at his grammar school than he ever was at primary. I think sometimes when people start a new job or a new school they have an opportunity to reinvent themselves and shrug of the labels they've been given in their old environment.

There is a thread elsewhere on this forum about bullying and after I read that I asked my son what it was like at his school (he's in year 8). He said that, yes, there were bullies but the school was good at dealing with them.

He's also very tall for his age (5ft 8ins at just turned 13) and was the tallest boy in his primary from about year 4! But, there are two boys in his year now who are taller than him. I've never ever been aware of anyone picking on him because of his height. I know it could be different for girls, but I was also always the tallest in my class at school (am just under 6 foot now) and nobody ever commented on it other than the odd, "what's the weather like up there?". But, a tall person can deliver a very good withering look when comments like that are made! Believe me there are lots of advantages to being tall -she has a head start to looking graceful and elegant (hmm, well I like to think i did before my figure went after having 3 children!). Do encourage her to stand tall and proud!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:17 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:55 pm
Posts: 851
Location: Bexley
Not sure why the cool face appeared instead of a figure eight for the year my son is in!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:42 pm 
Bexley Mum 2 wrote:
I think sometimes when people start a new job or a new school they have an opportunity to reinvent themselves and shrug of the labels they've been given in their old environment.


Yes this does seem to ring true, my son has said that he has found making new friends easier at his new grammar school, as he has started with a clean slate. Most of the boys had not met each other before, but are now firm friends. There is a very tall boy in my sons class but he mixes just as well as anyone else and there have been no incidences of bulling that I know of. I have an older very tall son and he does stand out, but that can be positive too. Good luck with your choices :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:54 pm 
Yes, I told her that a new school would bring an opportunity to develop a new character and try not to appear shy. I was also the tallest in my year groups at school, and now about as tall as you, Bexley Mum 2. And my figure also changed after having children :lol: My daughter is slim and I keep telling her that she should be proud of her looks. But she has been bullied before and perceives my comments sceptically sometimes. Although, she doesn't speak about her height very often now. The bullying stopped, anyway, as we changed her school. She is happy now but is still shy and remembers those times. I just hope that she will be fine at secondary school. She takes everything so personally, and I wish we can do something to relax her attitude as this world is full of different people. And you need to be strong. I am so proud of her.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:55 pm
Posts: 851
Location: Bexley
I know I'm talking about a different stage in a girl's life, but my best friend at grammar school was painfully shy - hid behind her glasses and long hair. When she went to University she became a leading light in the drama society - I hardly recognised her at the end of her first year!

Fingers crossed that secondary school will be a new start for your daughter too.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:50 pm 
Bexley Mum 2 wrote:
Not sure why the cool face appeared instead of a figure eight for the year my son is in!!


you have to leave a small space between '8' and the ' )' as the 8 and ) make the cool sign as in 8) without a space between them.

8 ) = cool sign


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:06 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 9:00 am
Posts: 438
Hi myworry,

My daughter was very shy in primary school so much so that she was called by a different name by the year 6 teachers for the first term and was too shy to correct them! It wasn't until after the first parents evening, when there was some confusion over her predicted SATS results that it came to light! (But that's another story). She was also very sensitive to any remarks from other children and felt bullied.

She is now in year 8 of Grammar, where she knew nobody when she started, and has turned into a very different girl! Whether this has to do with her being almost a teenager or being away from the bullies is difficult to say.

She is now so confident I hardly recognise her, to say she has re-invented herself is an understatement! I had to tell her last night to stop swaggering when she walked out of the gates and to quieten down.

Coincidentally, today they were all measuring themselves and there was a great difference between heights but she says nobody is made to feel any different short or tall, in fact one of the tallest was on the phone to a modelling agency yesterday!

Hope this helps put your mind at rest.

Scatshouse.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:45 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 11:56 am
Posts: 76
Location: Wirral
Hi

My youngest has just started yr7 at grammar. He is smaller than some infant kids (NO JOKE)! Takes size 13 shoes!

He was the only one from his primary to go to his grammar. He's doing fine - but his form teacher told me there was an incident of some older boys teasing due to his size - which, in the form tutors words, my son shouldn't have to put up with! My son hadn't even mentioned it to me. Anyway it didn't escalate and my son seems happy at the school.

I found it refreshing that the staff are pro active about this - they acknowledge that bullying does and will always occur to some extent, but tackle it well - which is better than the comp where my other son is, where they say that bullying doesn't happen and happily bury their heads in the sand! I know which I prefer.

She'll be fine :lol:

_________________
Sue


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:01 pm 
Thank you for all your replies. It helped to put my mind at ease. Spud, my daughter's shoe size is 6!!!! But by the time your son and my daughter are in their twenties, they might have the same shoe size. :wink: Scatshouse, the modelling agency bit was very nice. :) Bexley Mum 2, yes, I hope for the new start too. :D
Thank you.


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