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 Post subject: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 7:52 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2012 6:27 pm
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Hi, I need some advice on Prom etiquette as this is all new to me as we didn't have a Prom in my day. My son goes to a boys school and is teaming up with the local girls school for Prom Night after the GCSE exams. He has a girl that he is quite friendly with and is taking her to the Prom. My sister tells me that some boys buy flower corsages for the girl, to match her outfit. If he was to get one for her, does he have it delivered to her home that day or does he bring it with him to the Prom. Also, are fresh flowers more acceptible than fake.

Anything else he should be doing to make it a memorable night!

Many thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:25 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:45 pm
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Been through this a couple of times & I must say I despair of the whole ghastly business, but you asked for advice so here goes!
I don't think there's a right & wrong. DS took a girl to prom last year & she particularly wanted a corsage which matched her dress so he ordered an artificial one on line. It also meant she could keep it. He took it with him on the evening. The only problem was that it turned out to be quite big so might have been better if she had tried it first.
On the other hand when DD went to her prom her date didn't buy her a corsage and I don't think she even noticed! It's not compulsory but of course its always lovely to receive a gift but maybe not simply because it is expected.
I hope your son has an evening to remember.


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:48 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Herts
dd1 and a group of friends got a limo together.

They all met at one house and we the parents tagged along and took lots of pictures of them together in their prom dresses before they got into the limo. Then we waved them off all happy and excited. It was lovely as we had known them all since nursery though some looked so different with styled hair and make up I barely recognized them.

Having a ds you are spared the agony of the prom dress!

With dd1 the girls went and bought dresses and then posted pictures of themselves wearing them and waited for the likes and dislikes. I thought this was terrible as some girls then went and bought another one if they didn't get enough likes and then posted that for approval. I encouraged my dd not to post and trust her own judgement.

Not sure if dd2's year is doing the same thing as she is demoted to a Nokia brick so would not be able to participate anyway. She only has one week between last exam and prom night so is leaving it right until the last minute.

I think it is a lovely way to say goodbye to five years together but some don't go as they don't like the pressure of "the dress" and some girls don't like wearing dresses.

They go down the Thames on a boat and some missed the boat as they arrived late. dd1 commented that most of the girls took their shoes off as soon as they got on the boat.

On the corsage I would def give it to her beforehand so she can arrange it on her dress in front of a mirror. DG


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:02 am 
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Sorry - no advice to add - DS's year group organised an alternative event and gave the money they saved to charity.

I'd ban them as a terrible waste of money and, I'm afraid, the opportunity for terrible social exclusion and the worst sort of catty behaviour.


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:24 am 
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I come out in hives and a cold sweat at the very idea of 'proms'. So glad DD didn't go to one; I assume DS1 will want to and I hope to be out of the country when he does, although I agree that it is probably the easier option having a boy. As far as I am concerned any girl going out with a son of mine can buy him something as well if she wants flowers, or else she can have some from the garden- why do the girls get sole rights on stuff when they are probably draped in expensive finery anyway? It is meant to be an age of gender equality so bring on the LGBT couples too and shake the whole party up I say!
DAO that dress business sounds terrible! How unkind and horrid - you are right to advise you daughters against that kind of 'ranking'.
Guest55 wrote:
terrible social exclusion and the worst sort of catty behaviour.
Indeed. Usually from the 'butter wouldn't melt' ones who have gone through school as teachers' pets while quietly terrorising 'lesser' girls. Shudder.

All that said OP, like scary mum I hope your son has a memorable night for all the best reasons. :)


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:44 am 
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Amber wrote:
Guest55 wrote:
terrible social exclusion and the worst sort of catty behaviour.
Indeed. Usually from the 'butter wouldn't melt' ones who have gone through school as teachers' pets while quietly terrorising 'lesser' girls.
It's awful when that happens and it's not only girls who do that... Unfortunately, schools don't always want to know that their 'star' pupils may have a darker side to them.

Back to the prom business - not in the market yet, but reading this thread with interest. Bracing myself for next year should DS announce they have a prom!

_________________
It felt like I hit rock bottom; suddenly, there was knocking from beneath... (anon.)


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:55 am 
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Amber wrote:
I come out in hives and a cold sweat at the very idea of 'proms'. So glad DD didn't go to one; I assume DS1 will want to

You and your DS should probably start saving up now then. Helicopters and stretch limos don't come cheap! :shock:

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/m ... limos-gcse

Agree with you and Guest55 that the whole thing is just horrendous for the reasons you've already given.

The only positive thing in the article I linked to, is that it seems to imply that in the UK at least, pupils aren't expected to go with a "date", although PP's question about the "corsage" seems to dispute that.

BTW, "corsage etiquette"? Have we regressed to the 19th century!? :roll:


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:55 am 
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It should be up to the boy if he wants to buy something. I'm all for equality but in my book that is about overall equality not 'tit for tat'. Nothing wrong with a chap buying a corsage for a girl on a special night.

However it should be within his 'price range' and not something that Mum has to fork out for.
It's the thought and care that counts so if anyone in the family has the skills to assist he could make one from fresh flowers ( or check out the internet for video instructions - DD made all the button holes and bridesmaids posies for recent wedding that way).

Does DS know friends of the date so he could check dress colour in advance? If not it's probably safer to ask her directly.

If you live close enough then dropping off during the day makes sense but if not as long as he isn't late for meeting up then that should be fine too.

It's such a shame where what could be a fun night for long term friendship groups to celebrate together ends up being stressful and puts people under pressure to spend beyond their means.

Hope he has a lovely time.


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 1:39 pm 
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Proud_Dad wrote:
Amber wrote:
I come out in hives and a cold sweat at the very idea of 'proms'. So glad DD didn't go to one; I assume DS1 will want to

You and your DS should probably start saving up now then. Helicopters and stretch limos don't come cheap! :shock:

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/m ... limos-gcse

Agree with you and Guest55 that the whole thing is just horrendous for the reasons you've already given.

The only positive thing in the article I linked to, is that it seems to imply that in the UK at least, pupils aren't expected to go with a "date", although PP's question about the "corsage" seems to dispute that.

BTW, "corsage etiquette"? Have we regressed to the 19th century!? :roll:
Agree with all this, except for the part about me saving up. That will not be happening. I hate even the very term 'prom' which is why I insist on the inverted commas. I suppose at least we don't have 'prom queens' yet, do we? Please say no.

Tee hee. Just tried to see if there was a male equivalent of a corsage and discovered that the synonyms for corsage are nosegay, which I knew, and tussy-wussy, which I didn't. Parents of Y5 children take note - there is a synonym section is KS2 tests now and most of the knowledge required is similarly useful in 'real life'.


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 Post subject: Re: Prom Etiquette
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 1:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 1:05 pm
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Location: Reading
I know of a couple of girls who completely ignored the dress thing and went dressed in dinner jackets instead. And very fine they looked too.

Thankfully I don't think DDs school has them. I've not heard of them.


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