"Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

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Stroller
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"Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by Stroller »

...the worst parenting decision you make."

Read Ranjana Srivastava's article in The Guardian.
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um
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by um »

I read this and thought it interesting, as dh and I have spent the last year gently persuading ds1 not to be a doctor :lol:
I'm afraid he still wants to be one and I've accepted he sees it as a 'calling' albeit not an easy one at all..
Yamin151
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by Yamin151 »

Why would you ever persuade a child not to take up a career of their choice?

I don't understand, the world is their oyster and
1. Their optimism is what we need in any career, not all logical, weighed up, cold decision making and
2. Jaded, middle aged parents, albeit experienced, are not the ones to judge whether a career is a good choice for a child or not, they have to see that for themselves, and if they don't, why try, however gently, to persuade them out of it? We need that enthusiasm and since when did a parent's opinion persuade a teeenager anyway!

And I'm from a completely medical family, so I know what its like for docs
um
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by um »

Perhaps persuade is the wrong verb.

I guess we have wanted to ensure he knows about/can explore other options available for his career, as well as understanding the reality and difficulty of the role.

Also - the first time I have ever been called middle-aged :lol: :mrgreen:
ToadMum
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by ToadMum »

um wrote:Perhaps persuade is the wrong verb.

I guess we have wanted to ensure he knows about/can explore other options available for his career, as well as understanding the reality and difficulty of the role.

Also - the first time I have ever been called middle-aged :lol: :mrgreen:
Cheer up, um - a few weeks back, I treated myself to a day out 'on the other side' (of the Thames) at Hall Place in Bexley and the lovely young woman manning the entrance to the house itself tried to sell me a 'concession' ticket :shock: . Okay, I've only got three and a bit years to go, but... I told myself that it must be because I arrived brandishing my Art Fund card. And she was very young. And hadn't brought her glasses to work with her that morning :lol: .

Incidentally, what career(s) would you prefer your DS to take up instead of Medicine?

DS1 is just at the end of the first year of a four year 'undergraduate masters' in Biochemistry; he did start off with the intention of looking at working for a pharmaceutical company when he graduates (we're a medical household, too and we're okay with that) and if is meant to be doing an industrial placement in his third year, but obviously university life is suiting him, as he now says he can see himself hanging around for ever more - doctorate, academic posts, etc. I guess we're pretty okay with that, too :)
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Catseye
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by Catseye »

I don't know if I was forced but I was definitely cajoled into doing medicine not only from my father but also my comprehensive school.

I wanted to do physics but coming from a two up two down home in Willenhall it was seen as the only viable method to climb the social ladder.

I duly arrived at Med School and hated every minute of it-scrapped my way through the preclinical years and intercalating in Medical Ethics and never went back to medicine or Oxford but decided to go home and study law at Birmingham.

I would of made a dreadful doctor, I'm too argumentative and cannot suffer fools and quickly lose my temper, although my OH is a medic and seems to have endless patience and empathy .

Being a good medic requires a certain type of personality and dedication that few possess.

The point of my rambling is, all medics should have to do psychometric tests over and above BMAT or UKCAT and forget about the stupid work experience nonsense.
hermanmunster
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by hermanmunster »

We didn't dissuade our two - we just went rather pale, gasped for breath and collapsed to the floor. I think they got the message :mrgreen:

Seriously though, it is up to the student themselves - I supported DS's wish to do medicine, got him to some work experience with a old med school friend of mine + other stuff. This is actually what put him off.
KB
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by KB »

Tricky as a parent what to say to teenagers as there is the constant danger that they will take the opposite course for the sake of it. However, if they are opting for a tough route like medicine I think it is important to make sure they understand the trials they face and are aware of other options. Too often schools push bright science students down the medicine route without proper thought.

The point of work experience pre med school applications is to ensure the teenagers have experience of the NHS and of working in a caring role. Hopefully they will learn about themselves during the process. Good interviews will dig out whether the applicants are self -aware and prepared for what lies ahead.
Feed back from med school interviewers highlights frustration at the schools who over prepare candidates who then end up regurgitating what they have been told to say. It's usually what the interviewers want to hear but it doesn't help either candidate nor interviewer to judge if they are suitable material.
Amber
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by Amber »

hermanmunster wrote:We didn't dissuade our two - we just went rather pale, gasped for breath and collapsed to the floor. I think they got the message :mrgreen:

Seriously though, it is up to the student themselves - I supported DS's wish to do medicine, got him to some work experience with a old med school friend of mine + other stuff. This is actually what put him off.
Slightly similar story here - DD came to her own decision after doing a week with a GP. It was a little tricky as she had chosen the subjects for Medicine and then went so much off the idea that she needed a total rethink as she realised it was the human rather than the scientific side of Medicine which had attracted her, so she didn't want to do a science degree. All fine now and it is never too late to change direction.

We had never encouraged her to do Medicine, nor had we especially discouraged it, though I think she knew we worried about the pressure. As for 'forcing' any child to do anything at all - does that really still go on? If so, people must have far more biddable children than I do.
Guest55
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Re: "Forcing your child to become a doctor could be...

Post by Guest55 »

Amber wrote:. As for 'forcing' any child to do anything at all - does that really still go on? If so, people must have far more biddable children than I do.
Any visit to TSR will see a number of threads on this. I think there are certain families where 'being a doctor' is the preferred career path for the first born.
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