Having sailed through her secondary school years without ever having friendship issues, my daughter has been having to deal with a difficult situation at school, at a time that could not have been worse!
One of her close knit friendship group, is a girl who has had many home life issues and has received a lot of support from the school over the years, not just financially, but emotionally too, in terms of counselling etc.
Her father was an abusive alcoholic and she is estranged from him and her other siblings due to the nasty breakdown of her parents marriage some years ago. This girl has developed a worsening drink problem in the past year, and becomes aggressive and embarrassing, and my daughter having initially tried to help her and support her, had to finally admit defeat after a particularly awful incident, which did not just put her friend's safety in jeopardy, but my daughter's too. This friend had kind of latched onto my daughter in quite a controlling way, she openly belittled her, didn't like her seeing other people, and my daughter was becoming increasingly unhappy about the situation. Having tried to distance herself in a subtle way, without being rude or unfriendly, this girl has completely flipped. Having subjected her to a barrage of silent treatment interspersed with nasty rituals of covert bullying, my daughter broke down on one occasion before an exam, and this girl openly mocked her tears as 'pathetic' and laughed about it on social media. Not once, has my daughter retaliated. She is a kind, sensitive and very level headed young girl.
Having failed to get the retaliation this bully so obviously wanted over the past few weeks, this girl has now set about trying to alienate her from their little friendship group. Being the loud brash type, her friends like the energy it creates in the group, so it has become a difficult situation for my daughter. She had to stop using the school library to study, as this girl was constsantly making alienation comments to annoy her, would sing songs while my daughter was trying to study, and constantly make plans that would openly exclude her. The final straw came just before yesterdays exam, this girl announced a change of venue for their end of exam get together...her house, and just us select few..excluding my daughter of course. I picked her up in tears..she just cannot take it anymore.
I am furious that this is happening at such a crucial time at school. Furious that while my daughter is unable to use the school facilities we pay for, this girl is running riot with her mean behaviour. My daughter is adamant I am not to speak to the school, because at 16 she would be ridiculed even more. I am at my wits end. She has two exams today, and yesterday was written off she has been so upset by this. Does anyone have any advice? I would expect this behaviour from a yr 7 girl..but year 11??