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 Post subject: Bedtimes
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:35 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:29 pm
Posts: 2049
Location: Wirral
In our house we have always been pretty strict with bed times, as of late (since starting high school) we have relaxed some what on DD.
If she is reading quietly which more often than not she is, I will allow her to carry on reading until she is tired.

Since the increase in homework I'm more inclined to allow her this extra time, as a way of unwinding and to allow her some "me" time.

Youngest (7) however is still strictly 7.30pm.

I'm just curious to know what others think about bed times?

Is 10pm to late for a 12/13 year old on a school night?

AM


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 Post subject: Re: Bedtimes
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:10 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 4083
10pm is definitely too late ...

I can't get onto the forum any earlier as the kiddos are sti11 packing bags , doing research, brushing teeth, play fighting with their ki11er toys,
reading...

I think it depends what time they have to get up in the morning and what they have to do for the day/week.
My Yr 7 goes to bed at half 9 and gets up at 6.30am.

seems enough.

If they are cranky, it would be because they had a heavy week - tests, matches, big project that has to be done 'just-so' or the secret sweets(Jawbreaker seems to be very popular) they are buying with their measely pocket money. They have a catch-up lie-in on Saturday morning.


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 Post subject: Mel x
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:37 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:32 pm
Posts: 410
Hi there

My son is 12(year eight) and he has to go up to bed at 9 and lights out 9.15. Prior to secondary school(yr 6) it was 8.45 so he has gained half an hour which I feel is fair. He did used to moan a bit but at the start of the year I said if he didn't moan and his grades were good we would give him one late night a week. We are now(since after half term) allowing him one night a week where he can stay up until 10 and actually watch something with me(mum/son bonding) at the moment it's Hotel Babylon(very suitable). I haveto say since allowing the late night he isn't moaning and goes up without any hassle on the other nights. His sister is 9(year 5) goes to bed by by eight and two or three times a week is allowed to read until 8.15. She never moans and accepts that her brother will always get the later night as he is older.

We have never allowed then to watch tv in thier room before sleeping(dd doesn't have tv anyway). We don't mind them reading but other then that we believe bed is for bed

I do think 10 as the norm is too late. The way I see it if you start letting them stay up late now soon they will expect to be up until 11(never going to happen).

Mel


PS

Reading this back I sound a bit of an ogre. I'm not really :P


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2006 3:29 pm
Posts: 625
Hi

Jan, my partner, has three sons, the eldest would not go to bed earlier or at the same time as the younger ones.

When the youngest was 11 he was going to bed at 7:30. On each birthday he was given an additional 15 minutes. Believe it or not we had a 16 year old going to bed before 9:00. Obviously there were treats for him to stay up later if something important like the eurovision song contest was on. But if he had misbehaved his bedtime was not altered.

Regards

Mike


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:23 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:29 pm
Posts: 2049
Location: Wirral
Lol.. You do not sound an ogre.

DD often has 3hours of homework, so quite often she doesn't get to do anything other than homework till after 9pm.
She doesn't watch much T.V not because I don't permit it, but because she is such a book worm.

Other nights she will say she is tired and take herself off to be at 8pm.
She is sensible and when she is tired she does take herself off for an early night.
I'm asking for opinions as this goes against how rigid her bed times were previously.

I think if she started to get over tired I would step in.
Since she is only reading quietly in bed and seems to be sensible enough to know when she is tired, I seem to be allowing it.. :?

BTW- She has to be up at 7.30am.

AM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:31 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:29 pm
Posts: 2049
Location: Wirral
Mike wrote:

When the youngest was 11 he was going to bed at 7:30. On each birthday he was given an additional 15 minutes.




Oh wow! I don't think that would go down to well here.. :shock:

But just think of all that peace and quiet.. :idea:

If she is rude I have been known to send her to bed at 7pm, but that's a punishment.

AM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:48 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:02 pm
Posts: 662
Location: Herts
I think as your DD has 3hrs of homework a night, you are quite right to allow her "me" time afterwards to wind down. That said, 10pm does seem late for a school night. It's the 3hrs a night work that seems way too much to me - but my DD is still in Yr6 so I guess I have all this to come.

At the moment, my DD goes to bed at about 8.15pm & can read for 15mins. I'm afraid her younger brother (7) has the same bedtime, for my convenience really :oops: Surprisingly the older girl doesn't moan about this!


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 Post subject: bedtime
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:38 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 2:09 pm
Posts: 875
Location: Solihull, West Midlands
It is probably easier to keep to a strict early time when the child is your eldest - they won't know any different! With mine now 20, 18 and 14 I'm sure the youngest gets away with later times than is ideal, purely because the house is full of noise & bustle, there is fierce competition for computer/ piano / TV time, if we eat as a family it could be after 8pm etc etc. In my mind 10pm is the time when I want to see evidence of bedtime rather than starting something new, but then we remember that the rabbits need feeding... At least she doesn't have to get up ridiculously early to walk to school (although she could sleep for longer if "doing her hair" didn't take so long) and can catch up at the weekend. Interestingly the 18-year old is often asleep sooner than his younger sister, whereas the 20 year-old (when at home from uni) sleeps all day and goes to bed well after midnight.....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:49 am
Posts: 450
If your child can get up in the morning, and isn't tired and crabby, then they are not going to bed too late, otherwise, they are.

Seems simple, really.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:59 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:40 pm
Posts: 226
Location: surrey
I send my son, just 11 years old, to bed between 8 and 8.30 p.m. on school nights (9 p.m. otherwise) and he is supposed to read and "wind down". He complains bitterly, but I have always use the nine o clock watershed and don't like him to stay up after that because of tv progs not being suitable. He is often still awake at 10 p.m. since he is a bit of a nightowl, consequently knackered in the morning.
Mind you he does watch Eastenders and that's hardly suitable most of the time!!
My 18 year old, studying for A levels, goes when she wants and has TV in her room. I can only "advise" her not to stay up too late. I hate the loss of control!


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