Bedtimes

abcdef · Post by **abcdef** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:17 pm

Hi there
Appeal Mum - Our situation seems very similar to yours. Last year when son in yr 6 and daughter in yr 5 bedtime was at 8pm by the very latest. Now son in yr 7 and gets lots of homework. I feel it is only fair to let him stay up later to 1) Finish his homework and feel good about doing it and 2) Get some relaxation time after his homework. He too doesn't watch much TV but he does play on his computer or read.

My daughter's bedtime often depends on after school activities and tends to be between 8 and half past.

Bexley Mum 2 · Post by **Bexley Mum 2** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:11 pm

General rule on a school night for my 9, 11 and 13 year old boys is everyone is in bed by 9am. If they're in bed by 9 they can watch something on TV (not rubbish!) or read. Any later than 9 they can only read. Lights out by 9.30 (sometimes a bit later for the oldest if he's not too tired). Blanket rules apply on school nights with little respect for age - because dad and i need some space! On non-school nights we may let the older one stay awake a lot longer, the second a bit longer and the third - pretty much the same as school nights!

But if there's too much yawning on a morning we may bring bedtime forward a bit.

gloucestermum · Post by **gloucestermum** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:14 pm

Ooh -reading all these posts I'm beginning to think I am rather harsh on my year 6 DS!!
He goes to bed at 8pm schooldays-with leeway on Frday and always later at the weekends.If his beloved Arsenal are playing midweek and he has been good(!) we let him watch the 1st half.He has already asked what time he is allowed to stay up to when he starts grammar-we have told him 8.30 with allowances for homework,activities etc .
I feel we have been lucky with this,mainly because he is an only child with no other siblings going to bed later as an issue.I also feel that as I need to wake him up most mornings for school he actually needs the sleep!!!

Burneth · Post by **Burneth** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:26 pm

My DS has to be in bed by 9am...but then is allowed to read/watch TV for a little while. He is a year 6 and just turned 11. I rarely have to wake him in the morning, he is usually awake around 7am. The rule applies both during the week and at weekends but there are occasions where he stays up a little later over the weekend.

He has asked when his bedtime can be made later but I think that is quite late enough...especially reading some of your posts...I think I may have to use that to remind him how early he could be going to bed!

I think every parent knows their child and some need more sleep than others....the same as with adults. If my DS was tired (and you can always tell!) I would adjust his bedtime accordingly.

Bexley · Post by **Bexley** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:23 pm

On a school night:

Yr 7 dd bed at 9.00pm ,lights out at 9.30 pm (latest)
Yr R dd bed at 7.30 pm

Fri/Sat nights a bit more relaxed

2nd time arround · Post by **2nd time arround** » Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:28 pm

school nights
Year 9: In bed by 9pm , somenights reads or watches tv until 9.30
Year 6: In bed by 9pm, lights out
Friday/Sat
Not so rigid but about 10pm

neurotic kent mum · Post by **neurotic kent mum** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 11:32 pm

I like this site but you say if children "crabby" they need to go bed earlier. My children are definitely"crabby", but aged 6 bed 7.30, aged 8 bed 8.00 and aged 11 bed 9.00. And i mean bed, not read! They read earlier and when they wake up - as this is far too early!So are they difficult because too little sleep? or is it me - any one else out there have difficult children? Help!

laid back son worried mum · Tue Mar 18, 2008 12:22 pm

neurotic kent mum wrote:I like this site but you say if children "crabby" they need to go bed earlier. My children are definitely"crabby", but aged 6 bed 7.30, aged 8 bed 8.00 and aged 11 bed 9.00. And i mean bed, not read! They read earlier and when they wake up - as this is far too early!So are they difficult because too little sleep? or is it me - any one else out there have difficult children? Help!

I don't know the 'ins and outs' of your household, neurotic kent mum, although I am acquainted with your cat.

But I would say, as a general comment, that your family is sti11 a 'young' household with three children aged 6,8 and 11.

Coupled with the fact that you are working; you probably need to be fairly organised for the household to run smoothly.

The children being 'difficult' might just be:

-wanting to do do something when there are time constraints
-not wanting to do something because not in the mood

and a whole host of other po55ible reasons.

If the grown up is neurotic(like you) and a perpetual worrier(like me), the difficult behaviour is noticed even more.

I often feel that I, the adult, have lost control ,have not managed the 'situation' we11 and therefore perceive the children to be 'difficult'.

Some children do need more sleep but yours seem to have enough.

However, it's not just lack of sleep unfortunately that causes crabbine55;
it could be lack of exercise, not enough rest/chi11out time, inadequate stimulation, sibling rivalry, need of personal space, lack of social interactions, not being able to play with Dad as he's too busy at work, not being able to play with Mum as she's too busy on computer,having a request for treats refused, mi55ing someone dear...

or according to my precious kiddos, a footie and GAMEBOY/PSP/ETC ban...

Mine is not a perfect household.
We plug the holes daily.

Bewildered · Post by **Bewildered** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:53 pm

Laid back son worried mum wrote: We plug the holes daily.

ditto

Using initiative and thinking on your feet.

Only fighting the battles that are important.

I'll be getting off my soapbox now

Charlotte67 · Post by **Charlotte67** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:59 pm

I don't want to sound too new-age-mum (believe me, I'm far from it) but my children (10 & 9) seem to have sorted out their own sleep requirements. Both go to bed anywhere between 8 and 9pm. Both read for a little while. Both get up between 7 and 7:15. Weekends it's more like 10 or 10:30pm and up at between 8 and 9am. Seems to work for them. Occasionally one or other will say that they think they need an early night but I put this down to either 1) An attempt to avoid instrument practice or 2) Really enjoying current book & keen to get to bed for the next chapter.

Both of mine - and hubby too! - are frequently crabby (especially with each other). I think that's just family life. Having 3 must increase the problem - I was one of 3 & remember many, many fights as we competed for attention and pushed the boundaries as far as we could. Looking back at it now I feel very sorry for my poor mother.

Lack of sleep may contribute to behaviour but as yours are independently waking early I can't imagine it's true in their case. I think we all go through phases in family life, ours is currently fairly argument free, but I expect we'll change places with you some time soon.

x