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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:04 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 6:28 pm
Posts: 197
Location: PENSBY
My son plays for the school football team,and has trained since Sept,in the last training session he played in goal and did weel,he is not a goalie but agreed to play in goal for the enxt match.The team won and he had little to do,he was allowed out of gaol for the last 10 mins of the agme and scored.
The next game was a harder team ,he hated being in goal and felt out of his depth,at the end of the game(they lost) he asked if he could play in midfield for the next match(the position he has played in for his team for 5 years!the teacher shouted at him saying he lacked focus,had no pride in playing for his school ,had an attitude problem and lacked commitment.He was obvioulsy very upset.
I went into school to question his teacher,he was very abrupt and said again about DS attitude and lack of commitment,I ended up having an arguementa and walked away !
My DS is a very well beheaved and likeable boy,who was very hurt by the teachers comments ,his team has not won a game all season and he has never ahd his attitude or commitment questioned
I would appreciate any help/advice as whether we should take this further,he leaves in July so maybe it's not worth it

Any comments !

Pensby


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 9:51 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:54 pm
Posts: 1770
Location: caversham
Pensby,

I think teachers and coaches should inspire and encourage, I think yours has an attitude problem. Why fight an unnecessary battle if you are leaving the school soon? I would explain to your son that he has been very committed and helped the team out by playing out of position and that you are very pleased and proud with his commitment and attitude.
:)

steve


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:03 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:21 am
Posts: 179
Ah the joys of football! In my experience it causes more upset than anything else!

It’s a shame his teacher has given him such an abrupt response (and poor gamesmanship) but I have also found that the teachers are often more intense about the need to win than the children. The same goes for the parents on the sidelines at the weekends.

The football season is coming to an end anyway and my advice would be to let it go.

This is a time to allow him to begin to deal with such situations himself. You say he leaves in July and presumably will be going to senior school – he will then have to deal with far harder competitiveness regarding school sports teams.

My advice would be to try and support him to use this as a learning experience. If he is picked to play again for the team let your son chose whether to play or not. If he chooses to play, talk to him about the options – does he agree to play wherever he’s put, does he say he’ll only play if he can play on pitch etc. The best outcome from this is not whether his team win or even whether he plays but how he can learn to deal with less than ideal adults.

Talk with him about how you agree it is not fair but he will come across teachers like this again – and helping him to have the skills to deal with it himself is an important step for senior school when you probably won’t even know what’s gone on!

I’m not condoning the behaviour of the teacher in any way but I wouldn’t let this spoil your son’s last term at school.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:07 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 9:48 am
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:09 am 
Teachers - AAGHH!

My son at 6 started shooting lessons (I know) at school and did surprisingly well on his first attempt and came home feeling great about himself. The next day he got a lesser score and the teacher told him it was rubbish. He then said to the teacher "I think it's unacceptable saying my works rubbish as I would get into trouble if I said that about someones work as it hurts peoples feelings" - he was immediately put into detention. As a 6 year old he was expected to know his place and know the correct ways to communicate towards an adult and yet the adult was contradicting everything Samuel had been taught about kindness and generosity and not putting people down. :x


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:23 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 6:28 pm
Posts: 197
Location: PENSBY
Hello
Thanks for the helpful comments,DS said he would carry on playing for the team but his dad and I said no,the teacher in question has upset other kids before with his comments and seems to put winning above the happiness of the kids.
I won't take things any further unless he says anything more to DS, I do not usually go to school to "fight his battles" but felt this was an exception!
He also plays hockey for a different ,much nicer teacher,so i think we will concentrate on that!
I think it's not so much the football as the attitude of a teacher to a child and his parent,he was extremely rude to me when I spoke to him ,so how can I expect him to respect my son !
As my DS said he is the one with an attitude problem! thank goodness he's leaving !
Thanks again P :lol: ensby


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:31 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:55 pm
Posts: 851
Location: Bexley
Pensby - you've spoken to the teacher and I don't think you can do more so I would let it go.

It's very very sad that such a person is in charge of children. Clearly, even if the comments the teacher made to your child were correct, they were hardly likely to make him improve his performance. I think the key thing is that your child understands that the criticism was unfair and that, throughout his life, he will meet people who are unfair or unreasonable. If my children complain about other children being unpleasant to them we always talk about why that might be - they might be jealous, upset about something at home, feel inadequate about themselves etc etc. Whatever the reason, I try to get them to focus on what the other person's hang-ups might be rather than the unfairness of what has happened. It's the same with adults. Maybe the teacher feels a failure because he's been unable to train and/or motivate his team sufficiently for them to be succesful this season. Maybe his wife shouts at him so he's taking it out on everyone else! Just make sure your son realises the teacher's got the problem, not him.

Of course, that's me with my reasonable hat on. If it were me, I'd be fighting the urge to have it out with him or report him to the Head!! :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 6:25 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 374
Location: Bucks
I agree with the advice given to date...the teacher in question is bad news.

Not sure how keen on footie your son is now, but if he genuinely wants to play at his next school, or learn some good soccer skills and the rules of great sportmanship, the courses now run by your local professional team for the community, whether it be a Premiership club or a lesser division club seem very good.

In our experience over the past 4 years, a footie course for a day or two days or a week during the summer hols would confirm to him that football can be an enjoyable team game, we have found the coaches on these course keen to emphasise and promote sportsmanship, they give the good and not so good a chance in all positions, (on one course my son was taught a selection of Brazillian ball tricks and the whole squad of mixed ages and ability learnt these skills during the week, still a good party piece a year later!).

If he isn't now particularly bothered and has moved on (and its just the parents still seething :lol: ) then I am sure he will find other interests once he starts his new school and will put it all behind him.

HOWEVER - once your son is his final week at the school and assuming you don't have any other siblings coming up through the ranks, I see no harm in sending the school a letter confirming what a rubbish teacher they have on their books - dish the dirt - he hurt your son's feeling, hurt his :wink:

Ambridge x


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 Post subject: Mel x
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:38 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:32 pm
Posts: 410
Hi Pensby

I can emphaphise with you as my husbdan and I have just taken my son out of a football team he was playing for outside of school as the Manager suddenly started bringing in all new boys from his sons school and as a result my son first lost his main postion and then kept getting left on the bench. We have never thought our ds would be a 'footballer' but we do know he was as good as many of his team mates so we felt this wasn't fair.

My ds is nearly 13 amd has played for teams since he was 8 and I haveto say it isn't easy. As they get older it does become more competitive and what always starts out as a fun team ends up under pressure to perform by over ambitious grown ups. Sometimes it is hard to decide who are the children. Don't egt me wrong tehre are some great people running these activities but there are also some who forget that our children are just that.

Your sons teacher sounds like the latter so I would forget it now. Your son will move on and there will be lots of choice with many sports and other activities available in his coming years.

Mel
:P


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:24 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 6:28 pm
Posts: 197
Location: PENSBY
Thanks everyone
I've calmed down alot now,DS said the teacher in question didn't speak to him yesterday so he wasn't worried anymore.He won't play in the school team again,a mutual decision.

He is lucky to play for a great team out of school,Ok they don't win but they are lovely lads and a great group of parents.

Melx, I hope you can find another team for your son if he still wants to play,they are out there !.My DS still plays hockey at school and isn't too worried about school footy as they don't play in his new grammar.
It is a pity that some teachers feel they can speak to kids in their care with such a lack of respect but as we all know this is a lesson in life!!

Ambridge,the good news about Ds school is it is closing in July to merge with Infants so all teachers will have to reapply for their jobs,hopefully the new governors will see sense and not emlpy the awful teacher again !!

thanks again to all who replied and best of luck to your kids in their new schools
Pensby :lol:


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