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PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:31 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
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Location: Warwickshire.
Ed has worked hard all year really - with lots of carrots and sticks!!! - and passed the 11+ and the entrance exams he took. Now he is through the SATs and (understandably) is spending A LOT of time on his PlayStation, Rune Scape (anyone else's child addicted to that??) or on his Nintendo DS.
I have bought a couple of Brain Training games for the DS in an attempt to encourage his brain not to atrophy too much, he reads an awful lot, and now has a trampoline to exercise on. He also does regular (when 'reminded') practise on the piano as he has an exam coming up this month.
The question is this...should we just leave him alone to do pretty much whatever he wants in his free time? We know that once at Rugby he will be working hard...
I don't want to be a pushy parent, on the other hand I worry he may struggle to get back into academic life if he does nothing for the next few months. It sounds like his primary is doing a great programme of transitional work and he is thoroughly enjoying the algebra they are now doing.
Shall I leave him be??? He is not the sort of child who would enjoy writing any kind of diary etc - in fact he detests writing. He is also cynical enough to sniff out work even when it is heavily disguised! He'll do it at school but not home. In fact he is choosing to stay at school to do his prep when he start his next school.
Advice please my forum friends :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:27 pm 
Ed's mum - you are going to love the liberating feeling of homework done at school! :D No more nagging and no more battles!

Your son may well be at an advantage when he starts Rugby as he will have had a much shorter summer holiday than his prep school peer group who can have up to 10 weeks off compared to 6 weeks. I think its great that your son reads a lot, which is quite unusual for boys. Does he like crosswords, logic problems, sudoko etc... that he would happily pick up of his own volition? At least then he would be doing a little writing. Regarding computer games, I would give him a window of time each day when he can play them, and make the gap inbetween so long that he gets so bored and starts to find things to amuse himself. I've found that if the kids have three hours and no computer games they'll start doing all sorts. He'll be too old now, but the spiderwick chronicles have books where they ask you to draw or describe elves and fairies on the paper in the book, which is such a novelty for my 9 ear old - there may be other books geared for 11+ that offer the same.

At the end of the day I suppose it comes down to your sons personality and your personality. If you both get worked up then maybe its best to just do what causes you the least stress. This probably hasn't been much help! :roll:


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 7:36 pm 
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Location: Warwickshire.
Your last paragraph is spot on!!!!! We argue all the time. Well I advise and he argues!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:31 pm 
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Is he into cricket?

If so he could learn to score - very useful skill and keeps your brain active!

Multi-activity days?

Fencing? (the sport not the garden sort!)

Anything new gets those brain cells working and can kid them it's just fun

:lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:24 am 
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Location: Warwickshire
I'm definitely of the opinion that it's time for my daughter to have as much time to do what she likes as possible!

I'm sure there will be lots of adjusting for her when she gets to "big school" and I think the academic side is only part of that - so my theory is to let her enjoy being 11 while she can!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:39 pm 
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Let his brain lie fallow - it'll speed up fast enough when term starts.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:45 pm 
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I'd certainly cut down or stop the computer game stuff for a while. You could certainly leave him to choose what he wants to do rather than forcing academic stuff on him; but I do think the computer game diet you describe a bit much for an intelligent 12/13 year old who could find something else to do without the "addiction". Just my terribly old fashioned opinion.

Maybe he will work hard at Rugby; but it might be more his choice than you imagine. My husband reckons that one of the hidden extras his parents paid for at a top public school was peace of mind. They were unable to see that he was not working hard, but thought he was!! They could not see the underage pub trips either.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:04 pm 
perplexed wrote:
I'd certainly cut down or stop the computer game stuff for a while. You could certainly leave him to choose what he wants to do rather than forcing academic stuff on him; but I do think the computer game diet you describe a bit much for an intelligent 12/13 year old who could find something else to do without the "addiction". Just my terribly old fashioned opinion.

Maybe he will work hard at Rugby; but it might be more his choice than you imagine. My husband reckons that one of the hidden extras his parents paid for at a top public school was peace of mind. They were unable to see that he was not working hard, but thought he was!! They could not see the underage pub trips either.


Although I don't even want to think about pub trips (eek), I totally agree with you perplexed. My son has been to too many different schools :oops: but at his boarding school I never see what goes on and only get a happy boy and a report card at the end of term, therefore I do not have any grumbles. If he's misbehaved I can't get cross at him because I've not seen him in weeks, so I just encourage him to behave at the start of the following term. Ignorance is bliss and the boarding option will probably be the one thing that will want me to stick with independent schooling rather than grammar. I don't have a clue how they get such good results when they are so relaxed and the kids are hardly at school. :? It makes me question just how difficult our current exams are! :roll:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:26 pm 
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Location: Warwickshire.
I see what you are saying about the computer games Perplexed and totally agree. In fact, we banned them tonight (coincidentally) and son and husband are engaged in quite a raucous game of chess!!
I do believe he will be pushed at Rugby, however, as he is entering as a scholar and has to maintain a certain standard and attend extra lectures etc.
I appreciate all the advice being given - there are always at least two sides to any argument. Isn't it hard to know whether we are making the right choices?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:39 pm 
Ed's mum - does your son need to attend extra lectures because all scholars do to give them extension, or to stay ahead so that when 13+ scholars come in he is not behind? I must see if our prospective schools offer a similar programme. What am I like - I'll be looking into Rugby next! :roll:


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