11 Plus Exams Forum

I'm looking for your views on the right amount to spend on birthday presents now Dc are in secondary school.

When DS was in primary school I used to spend on average about £10 per present.
However now he's at independent school with a lot of well-off kids many of whom came up from the school's prep department I don't want to seem to be mean.
I don't have a chip on my shoulder re: wealthy people but want to get it right. DS has already been invited to 3 parties so I think it could get expensive! On Monday he is being collected by a mum who has a driver! I did forsee this being a problem before he passed the entrance exam and posted about it then. Most of you said not to worry about other kids living in mansions etc but it does still bother me!
Last week we saw a beautiful black Bentley convertible and I pointed it out to DS who loves cars, His reply was " Mum I see Bentleys every day at school" !!!!
Come on guys - opinions please!
Zorro

My son has been given some shocking rubbish from apparently well off people! What a waste as it goes straight to the charity shop! I don't exceed £20 but find that I can't get anything decent for £10. I would suggest an HMV or GAMES voucher, but then they probably have ipods and don't need CD'S. Its very tricky, but don't worry what others will think - easier said than done, I know!

stick to the £10 pressy - nothing worse than people trying to out do each other.....

Inclined to agree with you - was thinking £10 Game voucher?

I think, if it is a party around someone's house, regardless of whether they have entertainers/tennis/swimming/camping, I would spend £20-25 on say an ipod tunes, hmv, Games voucher because at the end of the day, its at home, relatives can oversee the event and its not a great hardship to the parents.

If however, the party is say, paintballing, then a restaurant well, that would cost you £40 for the activity, £15 for the meal for your son so I would then spend £30-40 on may be a nice back pack, or a sweat shirt from a surfing/trendy-ish type shop because if you would have taken your son to such a day, that's what it would have cost you....

I would definitely not look at how wealthy the parents are because you will never feel happy.

They like your son, he is going to have an enjoyable day out, perhaps very different to the days out you normally do, one way of doing it is to vaguely look at what the day would cost you and take it from there.

I also think your/our sons need to do their homework if they want to be part of the day.

Find out if the boy in question has got hobbies/interests, is there something he is trying to collect, sometimes the thought that goes into a present can be as satisfying to the child as how much you spend! It is easy to throw money at a situation but if you have a bit of background knowledge - sometimes you can get it just right for a fraction of the cost your were thinking of spending.

Good luck and let us know how it pans out.

Ambridge x

Hi Ambridge,
It's a meal followed by bowling - so I think we are in the sweatshirt bracket !
Will ask DS to find out about hobbies etc - good idea.

The going rate round here seems to be a fiver for kids who invite to the party but are not 'best friends', a tenner for the best friends and fifteen for children of family friends or relatives. I would begrudge paying more, but fortunately don't need to because no-one tries to escalate the amount. That's the benefit of living in a Bentley free zone!

Well, that's a great birthday treat but not so expensive.

Bowling is say £7 and assuming meal is attached to bowling venue might be £8-10 so I would do a £15 something - or try and get lucky with a thoughtful gift for less.

Ambridge x

Cheers guys - keep it coming! So far my original £10 seems to be about the average.