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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 8:59 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
Are you there Herman??

Would anyone be willing to give me some advice about my (nearly) ten year old daughter???
She isn't a particularly big eater. She has always eaten like the proverbial bird and, consequently, been on the thin side.
Anyway, she is quite private about how her body might change and, to my amazement/horror/surprise has actually got quite a lot of underarm hair. Her tummy, instead of being flat, has suddenly become very rotund and she generally looks much longer-limbed and big. Not obese, just like she will be tall one day. Also she generally looks like she has padded out quite a lot.
Someone once said to me that children tend to grow out just before they grow up. Is this true? Should I be worried about a much more rounded tummy? Suddenly she has grown out of all of her clothes. Certainly her skinny jeans no longer fit her and her skirt/trouser waistbands are much tighter...
Help. I just don't know what to do. She is probably less active than she could be as she prefers to bury her head in a book whilst at home. She eats healthily with lots of fruit and vegetables and does not snack or eat that much at all.
I know I have read before tha even if a child does become overweight that, rather than dieting, it is better to let them grow into their weight as they, inevitably, get taller.
Could she be about to hit puberty? I always though underarm hair came AFTER hair elsewhere??
Any sensible advice greatly appreciated.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:05 pm 
My mum told me that this happened to me before I became a "real woman" and afterwards I got very very thin for a while before settling down at 14 - a process that took 4 years! :shock: I have also read that boys and especially girls are developing far younger than normal so I hope you've had "the chat"! I definitely wouldn't worry about any weight gain especially as she is eating healthy.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:40 pm
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My daughter did the same. I was seriously worried. Try not to worry.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 9:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
Thanks guys. I seriously appreciate the advice.
Don't worry - I'm not considering diets etc - I just wasn't sure whether this was puberty/ getting a bit fat or even a growth like a tumour (although she seems perfectly fine). It's just so difficult.
We have had 'The Talk' but she is in complete denial - which worries me too. She says she wants to stay a child - so of course I then start to watch her even closer to ensure she doesn't develop an eating disorder to keep a childish figure and delay periods etc.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:21 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:15 pm
Posts: 253
Location: Birmingham
Hi Ed's mum...my daughter was 11 in early Sept. and your situation sounds familar. My d started to fill out a bit probably a year to 18 months ago. She is very sporty tho' and quite muscular so perhaps this wasn't as pronounced as on a less sporty girl. She too, expressed a desire to stay a child and didn't want to talk about periods and said she didn't want to grow up etc. She did start her periods in the summer hols and whilst initially quite upset by it all... the physical as much as emotional impact she is now ,really quite soon after starting ,into her stride and is managing with minimal input from me.

Her underarm hair has been the last to develop but there is no hard and fast rule I guess and everyone's different.

What she found really helpful was a book I borrowed from the library which discussed puberty and was aimed at girls so was in their own style of talking and pitched at the right level for my child. I gave it to her and gave her the option to read it with me or by herself; she chose the latter but I made it clear she could discuss any issue with me. I had already talked to her about her body changes and facts of life etc. The book was for her to fill in any gaps or go over things in her own time and pick up on anything I may have missed!
With regards appetite my daugher eats me out of house and home! She is a healthy body size and weight. I do hope this has reassured you a little.

Regards, Clarendon


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
I bought a book on puberty, but she has refused to read it. I said she could have it in her bedroom and then, when the time is right for her, ask me anything she wants to know. Or we could have a little container for her to write questions, which I could check and leave replies so no discussion was necessary. As far as I know, she has not touched the book - she is extremely stubborn!
However, we have always been open about things like this, so I am pretty sure that she does actually know all the things she needs to know - we covered it fairly early on in a very gentle, 'this is normal' kind of way.
My gut feeling is that she will start her periods soon, but there appears to be no provision for this at my daughter's school. That is something I shall ask about on Monday - it is just so difficult to find a time to ask her teacher without her being there as she has begged me not to mention anything while she is there!!
I am sure that you are right and that everything is okay and that her body is maturing.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:41 pm 
My DS told me that in PSHE they were taught about a certain thing that happens to boys in their sleep - he was only 9!!! It is a boys school but I was quite surprised and then disgusted as I realised that I had his to come! :(


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:19 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
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My DD was 11 in September and is tall and rounded.

She has developed breasts but nothing more.

We have had loads of talks about bodies changing and what to expect, how everyone's different and she is very open with me about it all. We even have the pads ready - although I've explained she may not need them until next week, next month or next year.

Having said all that she at first expressed the desire to remain a child and not grow up - so I guess that's something which they all go through. Equally with her having an older sister who is handicapped and whom we need to physically care for, she is probably more aware of 'womens' things' than most.

All we can do is talk to them about it and be there for them when they need us.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 7:55 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:05 am
Posts: 349
Can anyone recommend a suitable book?

My children are not yet entering puberty though so cannot help much sorry :?


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:30 am
Posts: 505
Location: Warwickshire
Our daughter regularly goes through the 'growning out before growing up' thing. I first noticed it when she was 5 in the infants and she got tummy aches. We eventually diagnosed a too-tight waist band! A few months later the same skirts fitted perfectly and the trousers were suddenly too short... Since then this has recurred more than once, so I don't dispose of any skirts for ages - just in case she grows back into them!


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