When will my boys meet girls?

KES Parent · Post by **KES Parent** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:19 pm

T.i.p.s.y wrote:
Can you elaborate on just how different boys are - both good and bad - who went to single-gender schools?

It isn't easy to know what is down to their own personalities and how much down to environment, but the one who has been at co-ed schools throughout his school career, right from nursery school, is completely at ease with girls both as friends and girlfriends in a way the others definitely aren't. However at school he was much less focused on his work, which might be because he regarded school as a place to socialise more than as a workplace. The other boys seem to regard the way girls tend to work (ie lots of neat files, highlighters, revision plans!) as absolutely hilarious, which I put down to the masculine environments they have been educated in, an attitude reinforced, I am sorry to say, by our very unfeminist household. I think you are right about Westminster, it would seem the ideal compromise to allow them to meet girls who are ambitious and intelligent. Do they have to board or could they be day boys in London?

sycamore · Post by **sycamore** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:28 pm

Sorry to be negative, Tipsy, but the half dozen or so men who I know who went to single gender boarding schools have grown up with 'issues', especially about relationships. I'm sure boarding schools make more of an effort now but I still feel that this kind of education can pose problems in the context of preparing our DC for Real Life.

On the positive side, there are lots of things you can do to help your sons mix with girls. I grew up with only sisters and have, so far

, had only daughters so this is something that my OH and I have already considered at length and we have only considered boarding as a threat!

At our local theatre there are annual drama coursess, normally for a fortnight, culminating in a fantastic show. I have seen advertised summer tennis courses, arts workshops etc which allow children to mix in a relaxed way while learning something new. There's probably loads going on in your area.

Or you could just let them do what we all did, trial and error and all that.....

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:39 pm

Sycamore, these ideas are definitely do-able. I wonder if they would be enough if they still went single-sex.

It would solve a lot of "which school" issues if it was.

OH went to an all boys Grammar and is all for ss boarding. Maybe I should tell him that its not natural for a man to be so hen-pecked!

No, I'm quite happy with the way things are and he's none the wiser!

KES,

Being day boys restricts us to living in London which is so expensive but only 1/3 board. The only other school I know with girls in the sixth form is Charterhouse and it doesn't suit us logistically nor does it suit DS1's personality but it is full boarding.

sycamore · Post by **sycamore** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:59 pm

T.i.p.s.y wrote:Sycamore, these ideas are definitely do-able. I wonder if they would be enough if they still went single-gender.

Lots of children are educated in single gender schools and lots of children grow up in single gender households without any hang-ups.

Anything you can do to encourage your sons to experience girls/women in a way that encourages relationships that are not fuelled entirely by illicit alcohol or hormones will ultimately make them more comfortable with the opposite gender and respect girls rather than objectify them.

Sorry if I sound like a hairy feminist, I'm not!

mike1880 · Post by **mike1880** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:56 pm

"At our local theatre there are annual drama coursess, normally for a fortnight, culminating in a fantastic show."

That's the alternative path for a single gender school of course - encourage a keen interest in musical theatre.

Mike

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:03 pm

Hi T.i.p.s.y,
I went to a ss school and discovered the other gender at Uni. Same for hubbie although didn't discover me there! I was a bit shy at first but soon got over it

Don't underestimate the ups of single sex schooling.Having taught in mixed school there can be so much pressure and distraction re relationships and then the inevitable break ups.
Call me a romantic but love finds a way - eventually.

Charlotte67 · Post by **Charlotte67** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:30 pm

mike1880 wrote:"At our local theatre there are annual drama coursess, normally for a fortnight, culminating in a fantastic show."

That's the alternative path for a single gender school of course - encourage a keen interest in musical theatre.

Mike

Post by **mad?** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:38 pm

solimum · Post by **solimum** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:05 am

I think my dad made his musical theatre debut as one of the "Three LIttle Maids from School" while at his boys-only grammar school many years ago - no nonsense about mixing with girls then. Of course, when he did finally meet some things moved rather rapidly... but that's another story!

sycamore · Post by **sycamore** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:18 pm

mike1880 wrote:"At our local theatre there are annual drama coursess, normally for a fortnight, culminating in a fantastic show."

That's the alternative path for a single gender school of course - encourage a keen interest in musical theatre.

Mike

Having a Mamma Mia mad DD I have had many opportunities to observe the 'talents' of Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth.

Voulez vous, Ladies?