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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:23 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:46 am
Posts: 425
At what age should i stop monitoring and assisting with DS with school homework? He is in Yr 7 and feel I still need to keep on top of him to get things done on time. He is ok with homework but when he knows that there is a test on its way - he is wayyyyyyyyyyyy too relaxed about it. Part of me thinks "stay away, let him learn the hard way" - but then I can't stop inteferring and making sure that he has revised EVERYTHING. Why doesn't he care as much as me? When will he care as much?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:31 am 
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I stopped when they were in year 6 - by then they're old enough to organise themselves with the occasional gentle reminder. Life is much easier when you're not having to nag them - I don't think it does them any favours.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:03 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 2:14 pm
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Location: essex
I think it depends on the child but I cannot imagine ever having to stop nagging my son about homework, he has so many far more exciting things to do so it is very low down on his list of evening priorities
He has an enormous amount and so far ( year 7 ) he has been doing it at the kitchen table each evening while I cook supper. If I let him out of my sight it would never get done.
This weekend however I was relaxed enough to just check he was doing it rather than check over the actual work, which in my book is a huge thing, controlling mama that I am. I also like to think he enjoys our little sessions but I may be hopelessly deluded and he is just very good at humoring me.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:11 am 
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Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 10:31 am
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I monitored my daughter's homework quite closely in year 7, knowing her as I do, but she gradually got herself organized and into good habits and I feel I can back off and leave her to it now in year 8. She has learned what a good feeling it is to get it out of the way so that she can enjoy her free time with a clear conscience and usually piles into it as soon as she gets home.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 11:39 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:51 am
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Sherbetlemon wrote:
I monitored my daughter's homework quite closely in year 7, knowing her as I do, but she gradually got herself organized and into good habits and I feel I can back off and leave her to it now in year 8. She has learned what a good feeling it is to get it out of the way so that she can enjoy her free time with a clear conscience and usually piles into it as soon as she gets home.


Yes i agree - i think its important to monitor it in year 7 as suddenly they have so much more homework than ever more - some will need help to organise themselves so they have time to get it done. My dd2 likes a social life so i need to help her manage both. With dd1 as she moved into year 8 she needed less and less help until i was just signing her planner at the end of the week. They get there in the end :) But i would not expect them to leave primary and just be expected to "do it all" of their own backs.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:46 am
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Thanks All. My DS is definitely in the "homework is lower priority than social life" category. I saw a soppy film once (don't recall the name) where Mum and Son are best friends - and thats what got me into the "when am i ever going to be like that with DS when all he gets from me is the nagging". I think year 7 is not the time to get laid back and let him DIY with school work. I'll give it another stab in year 8 I think (being a friend instead of nagging mum that is).

Thanks again!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 5:58 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:39 pm
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I think you stop nagging when you know they don't need it. My parents just let us get on with it - I did what I was supposed to do and my brother what he wasn't supposed to do. It very much depends on the child. Do what you feel is best for your child; sometimes that will involve listening to them and at other times you will be doing the opposite.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:11 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
I don't monitor, but we started a system in year 7 that dd is still using in year 10 which we find very helpful. She keeps a rolling list of work to be done on the family notice board, with when it's due and a rough approximation of how long she thinks it'll take. She has a very busy life with rehearsals and training sessions and (of course) social events, so having this list on the board makes planning easier. It even means that I can usually say whether she'll be able to make a rehearsal, for example even if she's not here.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:02 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:07 pm
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I don't monitor homework and never have. I have read with all DC every night until past primary age and helped with spelling in KS1. I expect them to organise and do their own work - it's part of growing up.
I will help with homework when asked and have done worthless pieces for them at times - covering books etc so they can get to bed early. If they don't do their work, they have to accept the punishment.
I should add I have 2 very disorganised children, who I do have to remind to plan their days and weekends, so they have time to do their homework. If they get a note from school they miss out on out of school activities to catch up.

As a Y5 / Y6 teacher I remind parents that homework is the child's, they need to take responsibility for it and get into a routine which will help them at secondary school.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:03 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:42 pm
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Location: Chelmsford and pleased
Mine are left to their own devices, but parents' evening, at the end of the Easter term, was reasonably unpleasant in year 8 when I discovered that DS had a very laid back approach to homework and teachers were displeased. We had the "chat" and I think it is a bright, lazy boy problem. I now try and monitor, but difficult when I am not often home before 7pm and leave at 6.45am.

I like the rolling work schedule - I may get DS to put all of his work up and tick it off when done.


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