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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:30 pm 
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My daughter is in Y9. We live just over a mile from the school, and she cycles. In the autumn 2010 term she got marked as late 11 times (which included mornings and afternoons) and we had a letter from the Head of Year. From January I started making her breakfast and getting her lunch things out for her to give her some help in the mornings, but I've just had another letter from school - from the HT this time - saying that this term she's been late 7 times (one afternoon, 6 mornings) and they want to see an immediate improvement. There was also a letter attached from an EWO, saying that if there wasn't an improvement that she would contact us to arrange a home visit.

The problem is of up to (but often less than) 5 minutes lateness btw, not anything that has an impact on lesson time.

My feeling is, that it's the school's problem. They don't take up the issue with her at school, apart from occasionally moaning at her. I don't see why they don't just give her detentions or use other sanctions. I'm not spending every morning in a battle to get her out of the house 5 minutes earlier - I did that for most of her first 2 years there and don't see why I should be the one left seething each day! - and think it should be the school providing the incentive to get there on time. If she ever gets a job, her employers aren't going to be complaining to me or her partner if she's not punctual!

Yes, she should just get up earlier and get out. It's not an unreasonable expectation. She's not late for other things; it's not that she's an unpunctual person, she just doesn't like mornings! And I am hopping mad at the moment for being scolded because of her failings. When I went to parents evening they didn't offer me any credit for her being good at maths - how come she's back to being MY child when they're pissed off with her? :wink:

Bah and grrr. I'm going to write to the school asking if they can punish her for lateness. And also whether they can keep me informed and talk to her about it on a weekly basis next term. Any other useful suggestions?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:35 pm 
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I don't quite understand how she is marked late for the afternoons. Does she come home for lunch or is she late going into afternoon registration?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:36 pm 
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I am surprised that she dosnt get punished at school. When my dd1 was in yr 7 we had a real nightmare with the public transport timings - if she didnt leave at the crack of dawn she would catch the next bus/train and was late - this happened for about 2 terms untill the bus company changed their times and i had spoken to the school regarding the problems we were having, the headmistress was taking an active role in looking in to helping us solve it too. None the less my dd still got detentions for being late. I can not see why your dc'c school are not doing the same.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:49 pm 
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I am of the opinion that lateness does matter. I cannot bear to be late anywhere I go and find being kept waiting more than a little infuriating. You say that it doesn't impact on lesson times but the school has registration for a reason and if all the students were late the lesson would have to start 10 minutes later! That said I would expect the school to issue some kind of penalty like detentions. Would also write to the school asking if they had considered changing the start time of their day to 10:30 am to accommodate all those who just can't get out of bed in the mornings??? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:00 pm 
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I also agree that being punctual is essential. I would have thought the school should be issuing detentions for persistent lateness, but I would also have thought that the onus is on the parents to ensure the child arrives at school on time - perhaps it's in the home/school agreement that you signed at the start. If she were my daughter and failed to get herself to school on time regularly, I would either take her myself or, if that's not possible, I would be imposing sanctions at home as well as asking the school to do so.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:56 pm 
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I really dont understand how she can be late for afternoon sessions?

Do the school understand that she gets there under her own steam in the mornings and is not dependent on you for a lift?

I would schedule a meeting with the school & ask them to develop a joint plan for dealing with this. It seems like the school are not taking any responsibilty if they are neither punishing your DD nor telling you when she is late until long after the event. Even at year 9 the punishment is better if it follows quickly after the event. I think that legally you are responsible for her getting to school on time but that doesn't mean that the school shouldn't be hepful!

There have been academic studies about why teenagers tend to find it so difficult to get going in the mornings and there have been serious trials of schools starting later! There are various practical things that can be done - like having a schedule for the morning with alarms set in appropriate places as an ongoing warning if she is running late.

Or you could be sneaky and adjust all the clocks so they are showing 10 mins later than the actual time :)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:59 pm 
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I'm late for everything, whereas my DH is punctual to the dot......caused a few problems until the day he changed the clocks 4 minutes early......not any more than that or you allow for it in your head........and I've been on time ever since ! :lol:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:10 pm 
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KB wrote:
I really dont understand how she can be late for afternoon sessions?


I think all of them have been after drama rehearsals at lunchtimes. They only get 35 minutes for lunch, so the teacher or 6th former running the rehearsal don't always let them go the moment the bell rings.

Quote:
Do the school understand that she gets there under her own steam in the mornings and is not dependent on you for a lift?


Yes, they know she cycles, and apparently considered saying she couldn't come by bike. Can't imagine it would help! Most girls don't come by car.

It's helpful to know that other schools *would* be giving detentions for persistent lateness - I don't know why hers seem so reluctant to do anything. She does have a rather laidback form tutor who isn't always at registration, so perhaps if she had a stricter one this would have been stamped on sooner.

And yes, I do feel like the consequence has to quickly follow the 'crime'. I've considered grounding her this week or something, but I don't think that would have any positive effect. Mind you, she just told my partner that she wouldn't be able to reliably get out of bed for £100 a day, so I think the problem may just be that she's an idiot. (Do we not have the banging head on a brick wall smiley here???)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:32 pm 
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If the form tutor doesn't bother very much it can't be helpful!

Do hope the school help you to make some progress.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:51 pm 
If your daughter has told the school that she is just too tired to get up on time in the morning (as is suggested by her comment about not being able to get out of bed earlier for £100 a day) perhaps they think the only solution is her going to bed earlier?

And the ball is in your court on that one. There is nothing much the school can do to alter your family's evening routine. Sticking her in detention is not going to increase her early morning energy levels.

If the problem is that actually you have no control over what time your daughter goes to bed, then I can see why you hope school sanctions will do what you cannot. However, the school seem to be paying you the compliment of assuming that you do still have some influence over your daughter's behaviour.


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