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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:41 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:55 pm
Posts: 27
Last September our family did several open evening visits to schools, prior to making our Secondary school choices.

School A has excellent equipment, motivated staff, high expectations of the students. My husband and I were impressed. Son was very tired by the end and really passed no comment.

School B has old, tatty buildings with poor science (and most other) facilities, teachers seemed defeated and to have low expectations of the students. My husband was less than impressed and I came away trying not to cry! My son met one person he knew and came out saying that was where he wanted to go.

After much thought, we chose school A.

Did not expect to get A without a fight, as we are out of catchment, but we have been allocated it.

When we told son, he cried as 3 of his friends are going to B.

Part of me feels we made the right choice from the perspective of his eduction, but I feel awful to be causing him pain over the loss of his friends.

Was I right, or have I made a huge mistake?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 11955
You've done the right thing - all Year 7s have different friends by Christmas :lol:


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:57 pm
Posts: 1167
.


Last edited by Belinda on Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 9:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 am
Posts: 5922
I agree with Belinda and G55. I do not believe 10 and 11 year olds are capable of taking the big picture into account. Sometimes you just have to be the parent, even if it seems to go against what your child wants. Let him choose where he wants to go for sixth form...my personal view is that before that, the parent is in charge when it comes to big decisions like this.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:17 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:42 am
Posts: 76
I can totally sympathise with you Hedwigsmum. We are in the same boat. My DD passed for a grammar school which is 11 miles away and that was our first choice. My DD wanted to go to our local comp which is still very good which is where all her school friends are going. We got our first choice of the grammar school but my daughter just cried and cried for an hour. She is very shy and we know that the reason she doesn't want to go is because she won't know a soul there.

I can't bear the thought of her walking around the playground on her own and sitting on her own at lunch. I know she will eventually make some friends but knowing what she is like it will take her a few months to settle in. We are hoping that by taking her out of her comfort zone it will build her confidence and force her to be more outgoing. I just hope we are right. God luck with your DS!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
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DS's class of 10 went to 9 different schools and he went to one 120 miles away. All the kids are new to the school and even those with a cohort of primary school "friends" are glad to see the back of some of them. DD and I both went to senior schools with one other primary school colleague. neither of us ever had much to do with the person and made loads of new friends.

Never thought my DS would cope with going up from Babies to Toddlers at nursery (left a favourite nursery nurse behind :( ) but actually he did do fine :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:32 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:25 pm
Posts: 463
No.

Friends drift apart and there is no guarantee friendships remain constant.I think your son is just worried about making new friends, but there will be others like him and schools do try to intergrate all new pupils-it just takes time.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:26 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:16 pm
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Hedwigsmum and madsdad I think you have both made the right decision. I am sure both your children will come around to the idea and enjoy their new schools. Most schools organise induction days and I have often seen on here, people arranging get togethers in the summer holidays.

Remember there are a lot more students at senior school and therefore a much bigger pool of young people from which to choose your friends. If your DC is very shy it may take a little longer for them to settle, but it will come and I am sure they won't look back. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:09 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:21 am
Posts: 2125
Some schools are good at putting children who are the only ones from their primary school in classes with others in the same situation. And, as mentioned, induction days are a very good way of getting to know others in the class. What's more, going to a new school doesn't necessarily mean "losing" primary school friends. Both my older DDs still see their close friends from primary school, which in one case involves travelling to another part of the country as the family moved away shortly after the girls started at their different secondary schools. This, incidentally, is yet another thing to bear in mind when discussing these choices - jobs change, people move and there is no guarantee that the friend the child wants to be with is still going to be at the school in a year's time!

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Marylou


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:16 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:37 pm
Posts: 120
Yes I think you made the right decision :) It probably will take him a while to settle in but I think that would happen at any school. When my daughter first started at Grammar school she didnt know a soul, she was (and still is) very quiet and reserved, I had days when she came home in tears and didnt want to go to school but I can honestly say within 2 months she loved it and had made some lovely friends. Three years down the line, she has blossomed and become an outstanding student and couldnt imagine being at any other school


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