First of all big up for you for recognising this and admitting it to yourself, that gets fab parent/wife vote in my book for a start! I have the same tendency myself, so it takes one to know one so I know where you are coming from. Sometimes I find it frustrating and highly stressful to be 'mindful' of my own problems as I need to feel better for 'having a plan', just like you mention, so I find it difficult to understand that others don't necessarily want to go straight to a plan themselves.
I am working on (note 'working on') trying to at least acknowledge the feeling before marching onto suggestions. Even for myself. So, even if it sounds a bit false, maybe when your daughter/husband comes in looking glum and having a good old moan, the very first thing you say is "you seem really stressed, that must be horrible, shall I put the kettle on?" - I know it sounds false to us problem solvers, but its called validation and its an important thing to do. I know this because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and just recently my much loved mum was doing exactly the same to me - offering to pay for this that or the other for me, but now I see your post I begin to feel that what annoys me is not the 'throw some money at it' solution, which I thought it was, but actually the leap to a solution without just saying "that sounds S***, poor you".
Personally for us problem solvers, I think its ok to at some stage later to say "would you like my help in formulating a plan/finding a solution/talking it through" and so on, as having a sounding board and ideas can certainly be useful, but others may disagree. And only offer solutions with permission (should that be our new mantra??).
So in conclusion, if you want a suggestion (ha, there, did it!!!) - it would be to, however false it sounds to you, genuinely reflect the feeling as your first stop and then know you can ASK if they want help later on.
Easier said than done I know..............