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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:02 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:11 pm
Posts: 37
Location: Bucks
Hi
DD has been attending a pre year 7 summer school week at her new school along with 3/4 of new year 7's as an intro to the school.
she's really nervous about the change. She was approached on day 1 by a girl who will be in her class in September and called ugly and gay. Her friends have commented on this girls unfriendly behaviour towards DD also.

I've told her to try and keep out of her way and let me know if this continues, but not sure if I should approach the school with this yet - my fear is it will have repercussions for DD from the child if she is confronted, but on the other hand do not want this hanging over our heads for September.

Oh the joys of secondary school.........
Any advice gratefully received - might stop me being awake at 4am!!!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:02 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:06 pm
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This is verbal abuse, it clearly upset your daughter and is unacceptable.

My inclination would be to let the school know about it and trust they are able to deal with in in an unconfrontational manner.

Your daughter may be lucky and manage to stay out of this girl's way in September, but if this behaviour goes unchecked, another victim will be found.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:41 am 
I feel for your daughter as this is clearly unleasant however I think that when they move to Secondary School they need to work out their own strategies to deal with dificult situations unless the bullying becomes severe This may mean her telling the school or not standing for this taunting I would have hated for my mum to get involved in any situation once I hit Secondary School age

Good Luck

my full sto button is not working


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:30 am 
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Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:28 am
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Location: Wirral
I take the lead from my children. Sometimes they want me to help and sometimes I'm seen as a potential embarrassment! In this case I would want to speak to the school as it's a matter of changing the way the child is behaving rather than avoiding her, and if it's dealt with straight away there may be more chance of success.

What a shame there's been such a negative start for your daughter. It ruins the purpose of getting the children together in the first place.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:37 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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I agree with Demon Pixie - read the school's anti-bullying policy and see what it says. [It will probably be on their website].

I would take it further for your child's sake and for the other girl to give her a chance to amend her behaviour - perhaps she does not realise how unacceptably she behaved.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:05 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:07 pm
Posts: 2660
Dear Gemma

Its unfortunately a fact of life that bullying goes on in all schools, primary, secondary [upper/comprehensive/grammar] Schools will often play it down, but it is there. [thruthfully it happens it in the work place too, we have to learn how to deal with it, which is of course easier for an adult]

Something I have mentioned before, the word grammar does not mean the school will be free from bullying.

My daughter, reasonably shy and bright originally wanted to go to a mixed grammar school, because it 'cut ' the girls down by half. That was either an intelligent or a sad statement to make, at the age of 10/11 she knew how 'bitchy' the girls could be.

She encountered many of these girls in her school life, but I taught her stratergies for dealing with said girls [one of which is now a very good friend!] On one occasion I rang the school, making it quite clear my child did not know I was making contact and I wanted it kept that way. The problem was solved diplomatically. She had a good circle of friends which have remained intact for some years.

One lesson in life is leaning how to react with different personalties and different situations.

I would leave for it now, but keep a mental note of the situation. However, has the bonding week finished ? Was it just the one remark or did it carry on in which case I would be tempted to make confidential contact.

Patricia


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:15 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:11 pm
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Location: Bucks
Thak you all for your thoughts. Bonding week finishes on Friday and I will see how today went. Lots of "hierarchy establishing" going on I think. Thankfully DD is with good friend this week, but has no friends in new form as yet - we will see how it pans out.

I remember some of my secondary days with issues such as these and I dread DD going through that!! - however i guess as you say Patricia it will happen and teaching strategies to deal is a positive approach. Apparently early on in new term they have a "class building day" where bullying etc is addressed - hope this may help.

Thanks again


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 6:59 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:28 pm
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Do you or your child know anyone higher up in the school? Even just a friend of a friend who would be sympathetic? If they made a point of talking to your child at various times in school this might make any potential 'bullies' realise she is not a 'soft target'.


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