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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:24 pm 
I am the mother of the autistic boy that Punchypool talks about and I am desperate for some advice. Joseph's father and I do not live together but we both want the best for our son and want him to have the best start in life after school and we both feel that if Joe could go to Grammer school, this would give him the best start. My problem is that although Joe is very capable and bright enough to do well in grammer school, it is extremely hard for me to get him to do any kind of homework, let alone extra work in preperation for the 11+. He is not sure about having a tutor teach him and he gets very frustrated when I attempt to explain things to him. It is rather upsetting seeing my son get so stressed and hearing him scream with frustration when he attempts to do any kind of homework. At the end of the day, I can't make him do anything that he doesn't want to do. As well as him having high functioning autism he also has ADHD, so keeping his interest in things is extemely difficult unless it is something that he enjoys doing. Getting him interested is the key and although he likes the idea of going to grammer school, he cannot grasp the idea that he must do the work to have an opportunity to get in. He loves doing tests and does really well in his SATS. The primary school that he is attending, although they say they are supportive, because they don't see our son's potential as it is "not reflected in his school work", we feel that they aren't really behind us and they say that they might not have additional 11+ preperation lessons until the next school year, by this time it will be too late to help our boy. Has anyone got any ideas on how I can go about getting him doing homework/preperation for 11+?...... I have tried various ways, rewards, doing homework with him and making things fun, but I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:08 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8204
Location: Buckinghamshire
Hi Hunni-B (nice user name!)

I have a limited experience of special needs (a little of ADHD, Downs, Aspergers) and not in a professional capacity at all. My comments are based entirely on my experience as a parent and of the process of preparing for the 11+. I hope that other people with direct experience of autism will reply to you in due course, but I thought I would give you my immediate impression from your post.

I am going to stick my neck out. Can you put yourself in the situation 5 years down the line when your son is in Year 11/12 at GS, when he has a huge pile of homework, project work and other deadlines to meet? Do you feel that by simply finding a motivation for him to do homework now that he will be able to cope with the demands of a GS by the stage of exam pressure?

My concern is that your son may not necessarily thrive at a GS, and be better suited to a comp/upper/whatever school where there is less pressure on homework and perhaps more understanding of his needs.

However, I realise that autistic children can be gifted, and if you believe that your son can cope with the academic pressure at GS, then please don't let me deter you.

For 11+ prep I highly recommend the Tutors CDs from this site. They are simply 11+ computer quizzes. My older son enjoyed them a lot but wasn't captivated. Younger son, who loves puzzles, is begging me for the chance to go on them every day. (He has a couple of years to go before the 11+!) Please tell us which area you are in so that we can recommend the right CDs for you.

For more general homework issues, if your child likes tests, I find that a very effective tactic is to challenge him. "I hate peeling potatoes - it's the worst thing I have to do all day. I bet that you can't do that homework in the time it takes me to peel these potatoes." Silly, but very effective! (And you can guess who wins almost every time - and it does drag out the chore of peeling potatoes, but it's a small price to pay!)

I wish you very good luck - please do ask us for more help at any time
Sally-Anne


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 7:50 am 
Sad to say, friend's bright daughter with Asperger's just didn't perform on the day of the exam. They had to bite the bullet and go private.

Make sure you have a plan B.

:(


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 8:37 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:54 pm
Posts: 1770
Location: caversham
Hunni-B,

A couple of thoughts.

Go and talk to the school and LEA, with a statement you should be able to name the grammar as your preferred school by arguing it would be the best available environment for your son. Your child would still have to meet the required exam standard to benefit from a grammar education but would not have to be top 100 on the day, this is my interpretation of how the statement works but please double check.

Without realizing it we have implemented Sally-Anne's computer based strategy, it removes the personal/social interaction with the child which for ASD kids can be a distraction.

At the risk of advertising, but given the circumstances I think it's justified we have had success with computer based tuition from Explore Learning, there is a site about twenty miles away from you.

I understand the observation that if he can't focus on homework now how will he cope later but I still think you should go as far as you can down the grammar route as possible. If he gets there and it does not work out then you can always transfer out.

If you register you might get more help from people prepared to send you information directly via private messages rather than public posting.

Best wishes,


stevew61


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:51 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:46 am
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Location: Clacton On Sea
Hi,
I have now become a member, so if anyone has any ideas how to help, but feel that it is better in a private message, you can now do that. :)

Thank you for the comments so far, I am taking them on board and I have also been in contact with the National Autistic Society and I am awaiting their reply. Hopefully we can find some way to help Joe.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:13 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:54 pm
Posts: 1770
Location: caversham
Hunni-B,

Well done for registering have sent you a message.

Just noticed you are on msnm, you are more technicaly advanced than me. :) .

Let us know how it goes and keep asking for help. We can all learn from each others experiences.

stevew61


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:44 am 
Hi

There are some good forums for asd children such as 'Asperger's and ASD UK Online Forum', 'ASD Friendly'. I'm sure you'd get some good advice as both have experts and asd teachers online as well as parents and asd posters.

Good luck.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:50 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8204
Location: Buckinghamshire
Hunni-B wrote:
Hi,
I have now become a member, so if anyone has any ideas how to help, but feel that it is better in a private message, you can now do that. :)


Well done Hunni-B and welcome! With a user name that good you just had to register fast. (Mind you, I can tell you from experience that the hyphen will drive you mad after a while!)

Sally Hyphen Anne


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 10:55 am 
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Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:54 pm
Posts: 1770
Location: caversham
abc123,

Thanks for that link,

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?

I had a quick peek and found some suggestions for a wall we have just hit, the how to write imaginative stories problem for ASD kids.

Now I have another forum to surf, oh well a problem shared is a problem halved, no point re-inventing the wheel, etc.

Thanks again.


stevew61


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 12:32 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:46 am
Posts: 2
Location: Clacton On Sea
I have just tried the above link too.......need more spare time to read through it all :lol: I will put a thread on there too when I have a min.

Thanks again Stevew61


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