My ds has autism and is due to take the 11+ in less than three weeks. He is a fiddler, doesn't like to sit still, tunes out if stressed and has had episodes of running out of classrooms when younger. He has now learnt coping strategies and copes far better in a classroom environment.
I think my son would do better in a grammar school than a comprehensive, simply due to what will be expected from his peers. He copes better when amongst children who are focused and calm. He likes homework, it gives him structure, objectives and he knows what is expected of him. He is also very bright, gifted in English, maths and art. He has knowledge of science a good few years further on than expected, because that is his obsessive topic. He didn't fit in with any of the other children, until his school started streaming the children in year 4. He now has friends amongst his peers and is very happy.
I think my son would only cope in a grammar school, and a comprehensive would be too chaotic for him.
Just my thoughts.
So good that your ds is coping with his issues, bless him - sounds like you are doing a great job. May he continue to thrive and really hope he goes to the school which will make him happy.
"am being dense perhaps, but why would whatever this issue is be solved by going to a comp and not a grammar?"
Not dense at all. Our concern is that if he is in a highly focussed and more exacting environment he may not thrive and that would stress and cause him to be unhappy. My query is would he be better off somewhere where he is allowed to be less academic and for it to be a less pressurised environment? If he is constantly being punished for not toeing the line and for not doing his homework, is he better off somewhere where it is not such a massive issue and he/us get a more relaxed life. If it were just a case of him being lazy, it would be different and we would give him a kick up the bum to make him pull his socks up. As my post says, we are however thinking possibly there is more to him than just laziness though.